I'm Fine
by Snapplelinz
Summary: "I'm losing my mind. But everything's fine." Set after iOMG.
1. Denial Is A Five Letter Word

**Author's Notes: I know what you're thinking - didn't Snapp say she was taking a break from FF writing once "Bonded"? Well, that was the plan and then iOMG happened ;D I got a surge of inspiration on Sunday afternoon for a short angsty fic that follows after Carly sees Sam and Freddie kiss during the lock-in. So here it is, read it and weep (seriously).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, so don't sue me if you don't like iOMG. Seriously.  
**

* * *

It was a running tradition to have a lock-in at Ridgeway every year for the students to pull an all-nighter on completing their various group projects.

No distractions.

Maximum optimisation of group work and getting your assignments done on time.

Zero chance of escape.

Carly hadn't thought too hard about that last part when she first looked out of the hallway window and laid eyes on Sam and Freddie kissing in the quad. At first, her mind had belied her, leading her to believe that she was hallucinating for a split second. But as reality set in and she saw the way that Sam's arms tightened around Freddie's muscular build, Carly finally realised that what she was seeing was really happening through the gaps in the blinds. Sam was kissing Freddie, and quite enthusiastically at that.

Carly couldn't move a muscle, even if she had wanted to. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her, greedily taking in every single movement and action.

From her vantage point, Carly couldn't tell if Freddie was actually kissing Sam back, but that hardly mattered. He wasn't stopping Sam at all, and that seemed to send out a clear message to Carly.

Freddie was over her.

Carly literally felt a dead weight in the pit of her stomach and a dull sensation in her chest at the thought. Why did she feel so claustrophobic all of a sudden? It was the lock-in, all of them trapped in the school together, that was it. It had absolutely nothing to do with her two best friends kissing without fear of being caught by any passer-by. Lucky for them, it was just her witnessing their private moment.

Suddenly, Carly didn't feel so lucky after all, just unfortunate.

The feeling abruptly returned to her stiff legs and Carly was suddenly tearing her eyes away from the window and running back down the hallway. Sam and Freddie couldn't know that she'd seen them, they would be completely embarrassed. She would be embarrassed.

The feeling in her chest like a million knives stabbing at her bones was just embarrassment at catching her two best friends kissing.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Gibby and Spencer were waiting for her, she had to get back to them so she could finish her project. Everything else would just have to wait.

* * *

"Carly, where have you been? You've been gone for like 15 minutes." Gibby complained when Carly returned.

She was completely out of breath and there was a burning stitch in her side which screamed in agony. But Carly ignored it, silently thankful that she had made it back without arousing too much suspicion.

"I'm sorry, Gibby. I ran into Wendy who was telling me about the new puppy she got yesterday." Carly lied in a convincing manner, trying to keep her breathing steady.

"Well come on, we've still got a couple of more nasty things to do to Spencer." Gibby implored with an evil grin on his face, rubbing his hands together with unsuppressed enthusiasm.

Spencer was still inside the box which she and Gibby had constructed for the psychological tests they were currently running on him. By the looks of it, Spencer still hadn't cleaned off the chowder on his face and clothes, looking positively irate.

"You're right, Gibby, let's try and get the rest done before midnight-"

Just then, Freddie and Sam entered the classroom. Carly heard Gibby offer them a greeting while her eyes were innately drawn to her two best friends, searching for any signs of happiness or guilt. Freddie was being extremely formal and clearing his throat a lot while Sam seemed to be looking everywhere else, but directly at her. Were they really that ashamed of what they had done? It certainly hadn't looked that way a few minutes ago.

"Carly!"

"Huh?" Carly asked blankly, searching for who had called her name.

To her surprise, it was Freddie and he seemed to be gauging her eyes for something that she couldn't put into words at the present moment.

"You ok, Cupcake?" Sam asked in what appeared to be a jocular tone.

Sam was smiling, but the smile didn't quite reach her blue eyes. She and Carly had fought about Brad 10 minutes ago. Carly wondered if Sam was still mad at her. Is that why she had kissed Freddie? Carly couldn't let either her or Freddie know that she knew. It would just make everything ridiculously uncomfortable, much like when she confronted them about their first kiss. Had they really come full circle since then?

"Carly?" Freddie asked in evident concern.

"Yeah?" Carly asked, feigning cheerfulness, her voice sounding way too loud in her own ears.

"Are you ok? You seem kinda distracted." Freddie persisted.

"I'm fine. I just got a little side-tracked thinking about the uh…project." Carly offered haphazardly.

"Carls, you look whiter than usual. Are you feeling sick or something?" Sam questioned in a gentle voice.

"No, I'm not sick. I'm fine, I've never felt better." Carly offered, a wide smile plastered on her face which threatened to split her face in two.

Both Freddie and Sam looked doubtful of that, so Carly ploughed on with her voluntary lie.

"Guys, relax! I'm fine, just a little tired from working solidly on mine and Gibby's project. Speaking of which, we should probably get back to it and you guys should find Brad and finish your project."

"Uh, ok. I guess we'll get going." Sam remarked in a small voice.

Carly made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat, feeling oddly guilty for brushing Sam and Freddie off. But it was too late to take it back. She was feeling strangely hot in the face, like she was coming down with a fever.

"Ya ha! Come on, Gibby. Let's test out Spencer's reaction to having the floor of the box electrified for spurts of 5 seconds."

"5 seconds? I thought we agreed on 2." Gibby protested in horror.

"Don't sweat it, Spencer won't even feel it," Carly replied with a dismissive wave, anxious to get things back on track.

"Well, I guess Sam and I will leave you to it. See ya later." Freddie greeted before digging his hands deep into his pockets.

"Later! Gibby, hit the switch!" Carly greeted in a manic voice.

"You got it!" Gibby complied.

Carly felt bad a few seconds later when Spencer began dancing around the glass box like a man on fire. But it was nothing compared to what was boiling over deep inside of her, a feeling she'd never known.

A feeling she couldn't explain.

The words 'I'm fine' kept ringing in her ears over and over again, making her ears feel like lead.

"I'm fine," she whispered fiercely under her breath, willing herself to concentrate on the task at hand.

If she kept repeating the mantra, just maybe she'd start to believe it.

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope you all liked this opening chapter :D Before anyone thinks that I detested iOMG, far from it. Save for the last 2 minutes with that mean cliffhanger, I thought the episode was incredibly and consistently funny throughout, a first in a while for iCarly (iPity The Nevel was good too). And I loved the Creddie horses' convo, Miranda was seriously on fire :D But yeah, this fic will also cover Freddie and Sam's perspectives about the kiss and where the three of them will go from here with their friendship. So stay tuned and never blog while drunk. Cheers!**


	2. Six Words Never Seemed So Terrifying

**Author's Note: Helloo, shoppers! I trust that you're all having a fantabulous week! Besides a little minor shipping drama, a nightmare about zombies (thanks to 'Zombieland') and the sniffles thanks to a change in the weather, my week's been A-ok :D Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last week, you guys are awesome. I hope you all enjoy this new update, it's been my favourite to write so far :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the inherent shock-value behind iOMG. Just my own mean cliffhangers.  
**

* * *

After pulling a gruelling all-nighter at school, Carly and Gibby finally finished their project. And then the two of them, along with Freddie, Sam and Brad hopped into Spencer's ride, which he'd borrowed from Socko. Brad and Gibby were the only ones really talking, mostly animated conversation about their projects. Spencer was still too irritated from all of Gibby and Carly's experiments to carry a conversation. Carly was sitting up front with Spencer in the van, trying very hard not stare at Sam and Freddie sitting wedged together between Gibby and Brad through the rear-view mirror. Seeing them through a pane of glass once during the night was more than enough for her.

To distract herself, Carly began fiddling with the knobs on the radio, trying to find a decent channel to drown out her thoughts. As for Sam and Freddie, they weren't talking to each other at all. Sam was looking down at her hands in her lap while Freddie was staring out of the window past Brad, only listening partially to his friends' excited banter about his mood app.

They dropped Brad off first at his home. He stood at the back car window for a few seconds to say goodnight to everyone, his eyes lingering just a little too long on Sam, which wasn't lost on Carly. Did he like Sam? If so, it didn't really matter after all, since Sam was clearly in love with someone else.

The next place they stopped off at was Gibby's place. The chubby boy bid his friends a hearty goodbye before jogging towards his front door. And finally, they came to Sam's place. Sam hurriedly got out of the car and made to sprint towards her home. But she stopped short and came back to the front passenger window as if she wanted to say something to Carly. Her eyes travelled momentarily to the back seat where Carly knew Freddie was seated, wondering if he was looking at Sam or not. For a split second, Carly thought that Sam was finally going to admit it; a part of her felt exhilarated at the idea while the rest of her just felt cold and dead inside.

Sam parted her lips, and then closed them abruptly like a Guppy. She offered Carly a small smile and then she turned her back on the car, her hands thrust deep into the pockets of her hoodie, her sneakers making no sound against the cement. Carly watched her go with a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach before tearing her eyes away to stare back at the windscreen, her eyes resembling opaque marbles in the gloom.

Then the three of them drove back to Kennedy Square, each lost in their own thoughts. Lewbert's post was empty as they walked through the lobby and into the elevator. The ride up to the 8th floor took very little time and soon they were back in the hallway, where they had begun the evening.

"Thanks for the ride, Spence." Freddie greeted with a nonchalant nod while he dug in his jeans pockets for his house keys.

"Any time, Freddy-o," Spencer replied before covering his mouth and emitting a loud yawn.

While Spencer busied himself with opening up their front door, Carly leant against the wall beside it, standing on one leg with her knee thrust forward on the other, her brown eyes locked on Freddie's back. Once Freddie had opened his door, he turned around and caught Carly staring at him.

"Well…goodnight," Freddie greeted awkwardly while running a self-conscious hand through his neatly trimmed brown hair.

"Night," Carly answered promptly and swept through the front door past Spencer.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders at Freddie in response to Carly's unusual behaviour before giving the young teenager a small smile and entering his apartment. Once the door was shut, Freddie stood still for a few seconds, his eyes locked on the Shay's front door. Then he shook his head and walked into his own apartment, shutting the door softly behind him.

While Spencer locked the door, he raised an eyebrow at Carly, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, a dazed expression on her face.

"You ok, kiddo?"

Carly lifted her gaze and stared at Spencer like she had just pulled herself out of an enthralling dream with great difficulty.

"I'm fine, Spencer. I'm just-"

Like Sam, Carly's mouth opened, then shut again, trapping in words too uncertain and distant to fathom.

"I'm fine. Just tired, it's been a long day." She finished with practised chicanery.

"Awesome. The next time you and Gibby ask me to help you with a school project, remind me to say no." Spencer suggested with a point in Carly's direction.

"Sorry, Spencer. I guess we got a little carried away," Carly admitted with a sheepish grin.

"I'll pretend I believe that because I'm too exhausted to argue with you. Goodnight." Spencer greeted with a tired wave of his hand.

"Night, Spencer," Carly greeted back, watching her brother stroll tiredly to his bedroom.

With her arms folded tightly across her chest, Carly sighed and trudged upstairs to her bedroom, where her bed had never seemed more inviting than in that moment.

Even though she was exhausted, Carly couldn't fall asleep like usual when she was overtired. Her brain was still churning around, particularly with images that she'd much rather forget. Why were Sam and Freddie kissing? Had it just happened then or had it been going on for a while without her knowledge? If Freddie were really interested in Sam, Carly hardly believed that he'd go to all that trouble to find her in school and tell her that Sam liked Brad if he'd known what was going on all along. Then it was just a mistake. Or was it?

Carly tossed and turned for a good two hours in a half-asleep stupor, her entire body stiff from staying curled up in a ball beneath her comforter. She glanced over at her alarm clock and groaned out loud. The flashing numbers told her it was 3am. Carly got out of bed and decided to grab some warm milk from the kitchen. She climbed out of bed and put on her favourite grey hoodie over her tank top and pyjama pants to counter the chilliness of the morning and then she left her bedroom.

Careful not to make a sound to wake Spencer up, Carly descended the stairwell and made her way into the kitchen. She grabbed a carton of milk from the refrigerator and poured some into a tall coffee mug, which she placed in the microwave. She was standing next to the kitchen counter, drumming her fingernails along the marble surface when she heard a soft knock on the front door. Frowning slightly, Carly abandoned her cup of hot milk resting on the kitchen counter and walked towards the front door. She gazed through the peep-hole and frowned in confusion before opening the door.

"Freddie?"

"Hi."

Freddie looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. His face looked pale in the dimly lit hallway outside their apartments and his hair was dishevelled, as if he had been tossing and turning too. He was wearing grey pyjama pants and a dark blue T-shirt, which made his muscular arms stand out in contrast.

"Freddie, it's 3am – what are you still doing up?" Carly asked in surprise.

"I could ask you the same thing," Freddie teased lightly, the ghost of a smirk forming on his face.

Carly was inclined to laugh in response, but then the memory of what had kept her awake came rushing back to the surface. Suddenly, nothing seemed remotely funny anymore.

"Couldn't sleep," she mumbled with a non-committal shrug of her shoulders.

"Me neither," Freddie admitted while running a hand through his tousled hair.

Freddie standing in such close proximity was making Carly unexpectedly nervous, so she decided to cut to the chase.

"Why are you here, Freddie?"

Freddie caught Carly's eye and he sighed loudly, looking for all the world like a man being sent to his execution.

"I have to tell you something."

* * *

Carly made up her mind and closed the front door behind her, plunging both her and Freddie into more darkness in the dimly lit hallway. Then the two of them stood facing each other, unreadable expressions on both their faces.

"What is it?" Carly asked meekly.

She knew exactly what was coming. This was the moment would everything would change between her and Freddie. And she wasn't ready.

"Something happened earlier at school between me and Sam." Freddie began with a little difficulty.

"I know."

Freddie stopped short and stared in alarm back at Carly.

"How can you possibly know what I'm about to say?" he questioned in confusion.

"Because I saw you," Carly answered without hesitation, the blacks of her pupils dilated against her brown corneas.

Freddie's heart dropped into his chest at the look on Carly's face.

"You saw me and Sam-"

"Kissing."

Carly hadn't meant for the word to hold such venom in it. And yet, that's exactly how she felt, like odious amounts of poison were seeping out of every word and every movement of her arms while they remained stiffly at her sides.

"We weren't kissing, Carly. I was trying to talk to Sam about being in love with Brad when she grabbed me and kissed me."

"You didn't pull away."

There it was again, more venom mixed with accusation. And Carly was powerless in stopping the words from tumbling out.

"No…I didn't." Freddie conceded, hanging his head.

Carly leant against the wall for support and slowly began sliding downwards till she was sitting on the wooden floor, her head resting against the wall. Freddie followed suit and then they were facing each other, holding their knees up with their hands.

"So…are you and Sam like…a couple now?" Carly asked hesitantly.

"No! I mean, I thought she liked Brad this entire time, not me! She totally caught me off guard when she kissed me, I didn't even know how to react. I still don't." Freddie finished off pitiably after his sudden outburst.

"Did you tell Sam any of this…after?" Carly questioned with difficulty.

"No, we didn't really talk that much afterwards. I guess we were both pretty embarrassed and overwhelmed by what happened." Freddie admitted.

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Because…after the last time Sam and I kissed, the three of us promised that we wouldn't keep any more secrets from each other."

Carly suddenly had a maddening desire to burst out laughing. So far, she was the only one who hadn't broken her promise. She'd told Sam when she kissed Freddie a year ago right after it happened. Once again, Freddie had been the first one to come clean. A part of her felt grateful to him for his honesty, but the other part just felt unbearably tired and weary.

"Thanks for telling me. It's late, I'm gonna head to bed."

Freddie wanted to talk more, but the look on Carly's face told him that the conversation was effectively over. With a nod, he got to his feet and dusted off his pants.

"Ok. I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Carly could sense the hope in his voice as she too got to her feet. She didn't want to be the one to dash it or turn a deaf ear. But she was tired and she couldn't deal with the sudden turmoil she was feeling. In that moment, all she wanted was to stay as far away from Freddie and Sam as she could manage. She gave Freddie a cool nod over her shoulder and opened her front door before letting herself in.

Once the door was shut, Freddie resumed his position of leaning against the wall next to his front door, his eyes trained on the Shay's front door, feeling no sense of relief creep over him after talking to Carly. Telling Carly had been the right thing to do. Why then, didn't he feel any better? Or better yet, why was Carly still keeping him at a distance if she'd known about the kiss all along? It wasn't as if Freddie had wanted Sam to kiss him – or had he? He wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Unbeknown to Freddie, Carly hadn't gone up to her bedroom yet, but stood leaning against her own front door, closing her eyes and wishing that the ache in her chest would dissipate.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ooh dear, that conversation didn't go at all as planned :S Well it actually did because I meant to write it that way, because I love to tease, just ask sockstar ;D But seriously, I hope you all liked this. If anyone's wondering about the page break in the middle of the same scene as opposed to splitting up different scenes, I've done this deliberately for dramatic effect. Kinda like TV shows that return to the same scene after a moment's pause when something juicy has been revealed, that's what I'm aiming for here. Please tell me if it works or not. Like I've said before, I'm not entirely sure how I'll end things for Creddie in this story. But don't despair, I'm sure I'll come up with something...eventually. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope you all have a great weekend. I have a feeling that my brother will drag me to go see 'Suckerpunch'. Hot girls toting weapons and kicking ass, such a trial ;D Cheers!**


	3. Looking You In The Eye Is Hard To Do

**Author's Notes: Hello, everybody! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week so far. Mine's been relatively short because of the Easter weekend and Freedom Day (27 April), God bless Nelson Mandela ;D It's been kind of touch and go for me this week with a dip in my love life, my dog injuring herself and getting harassed on Twitter by a notorious Seddie fan. But things are looking up for the most part, and you all get a new chapter out of me. Everybody wins :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly in the least. Just my own love for angsty writing.  
**

* * *

"Geez, Carls. You look awful – did you get any sleep at all last night?"

Carly looked up from her basket of Curly fries to stare at Sam, who was smirking back at her. They were sitting together at their favourite table at the Groovy Smoothie as per usual that Sunday morning. But unlike other occasions, Sam and Carly had met each other there instead of Sam coming to Carly's apartment first. And another thing was different about this auspicious meeting: it wasn't spontaneous in the least, it was planned.

After Carly had left Freddie in the hallway outside their apartments earlier, she had tossed and turned for another hour before finally falling asleep. And when she had woken up, she had made up her mind. Freddie had come to her and told her the truth about Sam kissing him – now she needed to hear it from the only person who could give her the rest of the story. And like times before this when Sam had been reluctant to confide in her at first about liking a new guy, Carly knew that she would have to do a lot of probing.

Sam was still staring inquiringly at Carly and she suddenly began to take in more of her best friend's appearance. She looked the same as always: dressed in simple and casual attire that did more to showcase her womanly figure than hide it. Carly couldn't help noticing that Sam looked as tired she felt (and probably looked as well). And yet, it alarmed Carly at how normal Sam's eyes looked: the blue corneas tired and wilted, like a care-worn flower in the summertime. How long had Sam looked this way without her noticing anything? Could it be that she had been suffering over Freddie for longer than what she had initially conceived?

"Carly?" Sam asked, trying to rouse her best friend out of her deep reverie.

Carly snapped her head up and looked at Sam, who was staring at her with what looked like concern.

"I'm sorry, I just got caught up thinking about something. You look pretty tired yourself – how did you sleep last night?" Carly asked carefully, worry warring with genuine curiosity.

Sam shrugged while pushing her straw around in her half-empty smoothie cup.

"I didn't really get a whole lot of sleep to tell you the truth. After helping Brad and Freddie with their project, I thought I'd be exhausted by the time Spencer dropped me off at home. But-"

"You still couldn't sleep." Carly finished off for her, a Curly fry dangling limply from between her two fingers while she stared at Sam.

Sam met her eyes and frowned slightly at the look of concentration on Carly's face, a bewilderingly hungry look in those brown eyes that she'd never seen before.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. So let's cut to the chase." Sam declared unexpectedly while kicking back in her chair, her foot resting on the wooden frame underneath the table.

"What do you mean?" Carly questioned in bewilderment.

"The reason that you asked me to meet you here at the Groovy Smoothie without Fred-dork. Mama knows you only get seriously formal when you have something on your mind. So spill: what is it, Cupcake?"

Carly smiled momentarily, admiring the composed manner in which Sam had asked her question. And she was seconds away from undoing that cool and relentless equanimity.

"I saw something last night at school which weirded me out a lot. And now I need some answers to help explain it." Carly began, her fingers drumming unconsciously on the table top.

"Don't tell me you actually saw a two-headed frog? I thought you and Freddie made that up just to make sure that Brad and I were alone." Sam teased lightly with a chuckle.

"No, that's not what I saw. I saw you, Sam."

"You saw me? What was I doing?"

"Kissing Freddie."

* * *

Sam, who had been leaning back in her own chair resting on its hind legs, almost toppled over at Carly's sudden pronouncement. She caught herself in time before she could fall over and righted herself. Then she looked at Carly, whose expression hadn't changed since the start of the conversation.

"You saw us?" Sam asked in somewhat of a whisper.

"Yeah," Carly answered simply, her hands pursed together, her elbows resting on the table.

Sam was beginning to feel extremely hot, like she was trapped in a box with a million cameras on her. But this wasn't like with filming iCarly every week, this was like a 'walk of shame' on some lame reality show. But the reality was that her secret had finally been discovered by her best friend. And all she wanted to do was turn the cameras off and steer the attention away from her.

"Oh," was all that Sam could say in response.

Carly, who had been passively awaiting a response, felt something akin to indignation coursing through her veins at Sam's inadequate response to her burning question. Had she really tossed and turned all night for this?

"_Oh? _You and Freddie kissed and that's all that you have to say about it? _Just…'oh'?_"

"What do you want me to say, Carls?"

"How 'bout the truth? When did this happen?"

"You know when it happened – last night."

"I meant…how long have you felt this way about Freddie?" Carly pressed in a serious voice.

If Carly was frustrated with how long it took Sam to answer before, then her patience was about to get tested even more.

"Sam!"

"What exactly do you wanna hear, Carly? That I started liking him recently or that I've liked him all along? Which would you make you most happy?"

"That's not fair. We're best friends, Sam. We're not supposed to keep secrets, especially not after the two of you kissed the last time. That's why Freddie told me."

Sam's eyebrow quirked at this remark and she looked more intently at Carly.

"When? The last time?" she asked in confusion.

Then comprehension dawned on her when Carly looked away and began chomping a little too enthusiastically on a Curly Fry.

"He told you last night after it happened? I'm gonna roll that nub down a hill in a garbage can," Sam muttered mutinously.

"Don't be mad at Freddie, Sam. I'm glad he told me." Carly interjected calmly.

"You are?" Sam questioned in amazement.

_"I am?"_ Carly thought to herself, just as surprised as Sam was in the moment.

She wasn't sure why she'd said it. But now that the words had practically leapt out of her mouth without her consent, she couldn't turn back now.

"Sure." Carly reaffirmed, though not nearly as convincing as her previous statement.

She carefully placed the half-eaten Curly Fry back into the basket and looked fixedly at Sam.

"Now you don't have to be weird about liking Freddie, because there are no more secrets between the three of us," she concluded as carefully as possible.

"I guess," Sam mumbled before taking a small sip of her smoothie.

The two of them sat in their seats munching quietly on their food for a couple of seconds before Sam broke the silence once more.

"So…you're really cool with this?" she asked tentatively of Carly.

Carly glanced at her surroundings momentarily before answering Sam. There were kids just like the two of them sitting at tables close to them, familiar faces that Carly had seen a dozen times. This was a place for friends, a place that never changed. Carly didn't want any of it to change, much less anything between her, Freddie and Sam.

"Yeah, of course."

"You're sure?"

"I'm fine." Carly confirmed, the words sounding like a language that she didn't speak.

"Cool. Thanks." Sam mumbled in what Carly recognised as her friend's abashedly grateful tone.

"You're welcome."

Sam finally drained the rest of her smoothie with a loud slurp before kicking back in her chair with a pensive expression on her face.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to Freddie after…it happened." She murmured uncertainly.

Carly was struck by the vulnerability in Sam's voice. She hadn't heard Sam speak like this since she had a crush on Pete more than a year ago. The thought did very little to calm the frenzy going on in her own head.

"I know. The two of you should talk as soon as possible and…clear the air." Carly suggested in what she hoped was a tone of solidarity.

Sam nodded in response.

"Thanks, Carls."

"For what?"

"For being so cool about this. You're a good friend."

"No problem."

Carly had said the words and she had played her part. But instead of feeling relief, all she felt was more confusion at what had happened between Sam and Freddie.

If she was being honest, she didn't feel like a friend to two people that she'd known for half of her young life.

She felt like a stranger.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Alright, what's the verdict? I'm always very self-conscious when characterising Sam. I hope this chapter made Carly look less petty and immature - I'll let you all be the judge of that. Anyone else catch the Royal Wedding on TV earlier? Really lovely build-up and beautiful ceremony from start to finish. William and Kate are so great together :D Two kisses for the price of one - romance is truly well and alive today. Have a great weekend, cheers! **


	4. I Never Thought You'd Understand Best

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! So you may have noticed that I'm posting this new update a leetle bit early today. My sister's in town for the next couple of days, so I'm doing the rounds: scenic drive around the coast, trips to the mall and fine dining, you know the drill. But I hope you enjoy this one, I had a lot of fun writing it. I wonder if I only like the 'even' number of chapters, since I like chapters 2 and 4 a lot so far ;D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the rights to iOMG.  
**

* * *

Carly was sitting on a low stairwell made of concrete, notebook and pencil in hand, trying desperately to finish her Math homework that had been assigned for the past weekend. In light of what happened during the lock-in on Saturday, Carly had found it difficult to concentrate, especially after both her conversations with Freddie and Sam. And now it was Monday afternoon and Carly had just under an hour to finish her homework before she had Algebra next period.

Carly scrunched up her nose in concentration and tried to work out the problem on the page before her. She didn't have much of an appetite for lunch or conversation in the cafeteria, so she had left Freddie, Sam, Wendy and Gibby behind and found a quiet spot where she could do her homework in peace. Carly had thought that talking to Sam yesterday would help clear up all the uncertainty going on in her head after seeing her kiss Freddie.

But instead, Carly found that she was more confused than ever. Even though Sam had told her about the incident, Carly still didn't know what was going on inside her best friend's head. How did she really feel about Freddie? Was it just a crush or was it something more? How long had she felt this way? And now that Freddie knew she didn't hate him, what happened next? Did Freddie like her back at all? If so, would the two of them start dating?

Carly couldn't picture it. Sam had spent the better part of four years declaring that she hated Freddie. And Freddie had spent the same amount of time declaring that he loved her. Had all of it really changed so rapidly? Solving an algebraic equation was a welcome relief for Carly. No matter what happened, Math never changed. If you did the work and showed your reasoning, you always arrived at the same conclusion. Math was reassuring and uncomplicated, unlike relationships. In relationships, the variables always changed before you had time to understand the outcome. Relationships were complicated; sometimes, the numbers just didn't add up, no matter how much you tried to figure it out.

Oddly enough, Carly had chosen the quad as a quiet place to work on her homework. She wondered idly if this was why Sam had chosen the same place on Saturday night, just to get away from all the tumultuous thoughts running rampant in her own head. The air out there was soothing and fresh and made Carly forget for the moment why she felt so lethargic.

"Carly?"

Carly glanced up from her notebook and frowned at the sudden intrusion. She relaxed her stance when she saw Brad standing at the entrance to the quad, smiling broadly back at her.

"Hey, Brad." Carly greeted brightly, relieved that it wasn't anyone else looking for her.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Brad inquired in a polite tone, walking a few steps closer with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

Carly waved her notebook so that Brad could see the cover.

"Trying to finish my Algebra homework before next period," she answered evenly with a small smile on her face.

"Ah." Brad nodded in comprehension.

He smiled again at Carly, this time a little more self-consciously.

"Well, I don't wanna disturb you," he added quickly and made to leave.

"No, it's cool. You're not disturbing me. What's up?" Carly asked in a curious manner.

At first, she had been annoyed by the interruption. But Brad was such a nice and easy-going guy, it was hard to stay mad at him. And if Carly was being honest with herself, it was comforting having Brad around, even if he had no idea how she was feeling.

Brad smiled gratefully and sat down next to Carly on the concrete step, bringing out a folded up piece of paper from his hoodie pocket.

"It's just iCarly-related stuff that I thought you might wanna check out before yours and Sam's next rehearsal," Brad introduced and handed Carly the page.

While Carly read through the contents, he elaborated further.

"I made a list of all the things you, Sam and Freddie might need for the next couple of weeks, particularly new equipment and material for the webisodes. I know Freddie's been talking about updating his film equipment for a while, so I did some research online and found a computer store at the Crown Ridge Mall that sells these really cool gadgets at reasonable prices. I also found a costume store at the Crown Ridge Mall that hires out really cool costumes that you guys could use for the next 'Moonlight Twi-Blood' sketch, especially outfits that don't make you itch. I know you and Sam mentioned that you wanted to try and get hold of that kid who broke the World Record of the number of coins he was able to pick up using only his butt cheeks. It took some doing, but I finally tracked him down and he'd love to be a guest on iCarly." Brad concluded succinctly.

Carly goggled at Brad for a few seconds after she had finished reading about everything he'd managed to accomplish.

"I can't believe you managed to do all of this in just a matter of days," she marvelled in obvious awe while handing Brad back the piece of paper.

"Well, I am an intern for iCarly, it's my job." Brad reminded with a small smile on his face.

"And you're the best intern we've ever had. Way better than both Cort and Ashley put together," Carly replied, shuddering inwardly at the memory.

"Thanks, that means a lot. I get to work with three of the most talented people I know, so that's payment enough." Brad praised earnestly.

"Wow, Brad. That's so sweet of you to say. Thank you," Carly replied meekly.

Carly couldn't understand why she suddenly felt a strange tightening sensation in her chest at Brad's kind words to the point where she could feel herself tearing up. Carly could understand feeling the need to cry while seeing Sam and Freddie kiss through a window pane. But why when someone was trying to cheer her up? Everything seemed to be working in reverse for her these days.

"Carly, are you ok?" Brad asked in concern, alarmed at the fact that Carly seemed close to tears.

Carly cursed inwardly, wishing she didn't look as vulnerable as she felt. But try as she might, she couldn't quell the sudden turmoil bubbling over in her chest, reflecting heat off of her cheeks.

"I'm fine," she murmured with a bright smile plastered on her face.

Brad wasn't fooled in the least. Carly's eyes were way too bright and her smile way too big to be considered normal for the occasion. Carly dropped the act instantly when she saw the look in Brad's eyes.

"Ok, so I'm not feeling too great," she admitted lamely.

"What's wrong? If I can help at all…" Brad trailed off.

Carly bit her bottom lip while trying to gauge Brad's facial expression. She didn't know him that well, but she liked him and she felt comfortable around him. And since she couldn't talk to either Sam or Freddie these days…

"If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret and not tell anyone else?" Carly asked in a whisper.

"Of course," Brad replied without hesitation, leaning a little closer towards Carly while they sat together.

Carly entwined her fingers together and placed them in her lap while staring straight ahead of her.

"I saw something weird at school the other night, during the lock-in."

"Ok…"

"I saw Sam kissing…Freddie."

Brad's eyes widened at this before he recovered himself rapidly.

"She kissed Freddie?" he questioned in amazement.

Carly instantly regretted saying it out loud. But it was too late to take it back now.

"Yeah," she murmured after a few seconds of silence.

Brad cocked his head backwards and emitted a soft whistle.

"Wow," he murmured in abstraction.

"Yeah." Carly agreed.

"But I don't get it. The three of you have been friends for years – why would it be weird if Sam and Freddie suddenly liked each other after all this time?" Brad asked curiously.

"Well, because…Sam's always acted like she's hated Freddie for years. And Freddie's liked me for even longer than that. Plus, I kinda thought that…" Carly trailed off, suddenly wishing she hadn't started down this road.

"You thought what?"

Carly chanced a glance at Brad and saw that he was watching her intently. She had come this far in her narrative, she might as well go all in.

"Sam was acting really weird on Saturday night and Freddie lied to you about the actual reading on MoodFace. It really said that Sam was in love. And based on that, I kinda thought that she liked you." Carly explained tentatively.

Brad instantly grew uncomfortable and Carly sought to correct her mistake, her hands going instinctively towards her cheeks while clutching her face in horror.

"Oh my God, I shouldn't have told you all this! I'm so stupid! MoodFace was right, but Sam obviously doesn't like you, and now I've made you feel super awkward-"

"Carly, it's ok-"

"This is all Freddie's fault! He was the one who first thought that Sam liked you, so naturally he had to come tell me all about it. Then I made up some stupid analogy about horses going into a barn and turning the lights down low, which gave me an idea to get you and Sam alone so she'd tell you how she really felt-"

"Carly-"

"Except she didn't tell you anything. Instead, she went off by herself after she and I got into a stupid fight about you. Then Freddie went to go find her and she kissed him right on the spot where I'm sitting right now. And now I'm totally freaking out and don't know how to feel about any of this-"

"CARLY!"

That snapped the brunette out of her hysterical rant as Brad took her hands off of her face and forced her to look at him.

"It's ok," he responded patiently with a reassuring look in his eyes.

That seemed to calm Carly down just enough for her to get her bearings back.

"Are you sure? I feel pretty stupid for blurting all of this out, since I was totally wrong about you and Sam."

"Well…you weren't totally wrong."

Carly frowned in confusion at Brad, who seemed to be blushing.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe you were wrong about Sam liking me in the first place. But the truth is…I kinda have a crush on Sam."

* * *

Carly's expression of amazement at this pronouncement was almost comical while she stared unabashedly back at Brad, who was still blushing. Then she was on her feet, pacing on the spot while she tried to wrap her head around these startling turn of events.

"You like Sam?" she asked in awe, turning to face Brad again.

Brad got to his feet too and thrust his hands back into his hoodie pockets, a nervous smile playing on his handsome face.

"Yeah." He answered simply.

"For how long?"

"Ever since you guys interviewed me for the intern position for iCarly. When you guys brought me on board after you got rid of Cort and Ashley, I figured I could work on the show and maybe get to know Sam better. I was pretty psyched when she wanted to help me and Freddie with our project during the lock-in. But I guess that wasn't because of me." Brad explained with a tinge of regret in his voice near the end.

"Brad, I'm so sorry." Carly apologised morosely while running a hand through her hair.

"Carly, it's cool, really. If Sam likes Freddie, it's fine. I'll get over it eventually. Freddie's a good guy." Brad replied evenly.

"Yeah, he is. He's the best." Carly agreed in earnest.

"Besides, it's gotta be weirder for you than it is for me, right?" Brad asked casually of her.

"What do you mean?" Carly questioned in bewilderment.

"Come on, Carly. You said it yourself: Freddie's liked you for years and now he's suddenly kissing Sam after all this time. Besides, the two of you kinda dated for a little while a year ago after his taco truck accident; everybody at school and anyone who watches iCarly knows about that. It's gotta be tough when your best friend makes a play for your ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be your best friend too." Brad declared with an understanding smile on his face.

"Yeah, it is pretty weird thinking about it and the implications this might have for our friendship and for iCarly." Carly agreed solemnly.

"Have you talked to either one of them yet about it?"

"Kind of. But things are still pretty awkward, at least that's how I feel."

"Makes sense," Brad remarked with a nod of his head.

Carly emitted a shaky chuckle after a few seconds and ran another hand through her hair, folding her arms tightly across her chest while facing away from Brad.

"It's funny. Every time Sam and I rehearse through one of our 'Idiot Farm Girl' sketches for iCarly, I know exactly what I'm supposed to do and how to play my part. Sam feeds me my lines and tells me exactly how I'm supposed to feel if I can't figure it out by myself. She's not feeding me any lines this time, Brad. She's not giving me anything to go on and I don't know how to feel about this." Carly confessed.

Brad's eyes crinkled in sympathy when he saw just how torn up Carly really was about the current situation. He moved right into her personal space till their faces were just inches apart. Then he gingerly put his arms around Carly and engulfed her in a warm hug. Carly didn't try to resist, but clung desperately to Brad like her life depended on it, savouring the soft velvety fabric of his hoodie rubbing against her cheek.

"It's gonna be ok, Carly…" Brad murmured soothingly, his hand moving to cup the back of her head, trying to believe his own words while he held her in his arms.

Freddie took that particular moment to see where Carly had gone, since the bell was about to ring for the end of lunch. And he followed in her same footsteps, walking down that familiar route from two nights ago when she had stumbled onto him and Sam kissing.

And now he was the one looking out the windowpane onto a scene that he couldn't understand or explain: Brad and Carly were hugging each other very intimately, which seemed to go beyond the usual behaviour of two friends.

Freddie hardly knew what to think or how to feel about what he was seeing. But unlike Carly, he didn't linger, but turned sharply around on the balls of his feet and walked away, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

* * *

**Author's Note: Oh dear, I'm afraid I've done it again - led you in a completely different direction from what the story's meant to be about. In my defence, I've been reading a lot of Agatha Christie's murder mysteries lately, and she does this all the time. Or perhaps I'm leading you exactly where I want you to go ;D Is something a brewin' between Carly and Brad of all people? What will Freddie do next? Till next time, my dears. I've enjoyed leading you down the rabbit hole yet again, cheers!  
**


	5. Time Makes A Fool Of Me Again

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I hope you're all having a fabulous week so far :D Mine's been ok, up and down with varying girly emotions that you probably don't wanna hear about ;D But as always, Fridays are my favourite day because I get to post my stories on FF. ****Yip, it's been an alright week in my books - I got tickets to Coldplay coming to South Africa in October (the fulfillment of an 11-year old dream) and I might actually be making some money very soon. "But Snap," you might ask, "I thought you made money from writing stories for FF." Well that, my dear readers, is simply...not true. But I have still fun doing it, so it's all good.**  


**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or its characters depicted in this story. All I own are my whacky ideas.**

* * *

Freddie was still feeling out of sorts by the time he got home after school on Monday afternoon. An image of Carly and Brad hugging each other in the quad was permanently seared into his memory. He wasn't sure why it bothered him; he'd seen Carly flirting and ogling tons of guys in the past. But somehow, he could sense that this time was different. A hug always seemed to mean more than any meaningless flirtation or erroneous kiss.

Just then, someone began knocking on his front door. Frowning, Freddie dumped his school bag on his bed and walked back out into the living room to go get the door. His mom was at the hospital and he wasn't expecting anyone. He opened the front door and was surprised to see Sam standing on the other side.

"Sam?"

"Who else were you expecting?"

The sentence wasn't phrased like her usual insulting retorts. For the first time, Freddie actually sensed genuine curiosity framed behind her question.

"Uh…no one. What are you doing here?"

"I kinda need to talk to you. Are you alone?"

"Yeah, my Mom's at the hospital and Carly…yeah, I'm alone."

An awkward silence followed while Freddie looked down at his feet and Sam swung one leg about while standing on the same spot.

"So…are you gonna invite me in?" she asked hesitantly.

"Right! Of course! Yeah, um…come in." Freddie implored abashedly.

He stood aside and let Sam pass before shutting the door behind him. He saw that she had made herself comfortable on the living room sofa. And yet, he could tell that she wasn't relaxed in the least. Sam's hands were fidgeting about in her lap and she was sitting with her neck thrust forward, staring at nothing in particular. Freddie had never seen Sam look like this: so abstract and devoid of any positive or negative energy. Freddie trudged forward and came to sit down to next to her, his feet feeling like lead.

"So…what's on your mind, Sam?"

"You got anything to eat? You know I can't start talking until I've got a nice fat and juicy slice of ham rolling around in my mouth-"

"Sam!" Freddie interjected more impatiently than he initially intended.

Sam stopped short and glanced at Freddie with a guilty expression on her face.

"No stalling necessary, I'll just get right to it then. I know that you told Carly about me kissing you." Sam began in business-like fashion.

Freddie's eyes widened in obvious surprise and he suddenly felt extremely nervous sitting so close to Sam.

"Look, if you're here to beat me up-"

"That's not why I came over, Freddie. I was kinda mad at first, but I'm glad you told her. I shouldn't have tried to keep it a secret from her, that was wrong. She told me that you and I should talk about what happened, so here I am."

"Carly said that to you?" Freddie questioned in surprise.

"Yeah, we talked about it yesterday at the Groovy Smoothie. So…here I am…to talk." Sam replied soberly while slapping her hands against her knees.

"Ok…" Freddie murmured in an uncertain voice.

He glanced over at Sam and smiled nervously.

"So…what up with that kiss, Puckett?" he asked in a hoarse voice accompanied by simpering laughter.

"Don't know…" Sam muttered.

She sighed and looked up at Freddie, trying her best to meet his stare.

"I just had that fight with Carly at school and I was feeling really down. Then you came after me and told me not to be scared to show my feelings. So I…showed you." She mumbled in a low voice.

"So…you…like me now?" Freddie pressed tentatively.

Sam bit her bottom lip before answering.

"Kinda."

"So what, I'm not a huge dork? I'm not your favourite punching bag anymore?" Freddie asked incredulously.

"I never said that," Sam replied with a sly smile on her face which didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Sam," Freddie replied reprovingly, seeing right through the façade.

Sam dropped the act and Freddie was surprised to see just how weary she looked. She had drooping bags underneath her eyes and her blue corneas were hollowed out around the edges.

"Ok. I like you, Freddie. I like you a lot." She admitted more seriously.

"Since when? Have you liked me the whole time we've known each other or is this a recent development?" Freddie questioned in amazement.

"Definitely not the whole time I've known you. When you first became iCarly's tech producer, I'm pretty sure I hated your guts. Plus, you kept tagging along everywhere Carly and I went because of your big ol' crush on her and it made me kinda possessive, because I was scared you were gonna take her away from me. I guess that's mostly why I always gave you such a hard time." Sam explained painstakingly.

"I'm failing to see how your feelings could've possibly changed, Sam. Don't you still feel all those things about me?" Freddie demanded.

"Not really. You're not a total dork. Most of the time, you're pretty cool when you're not trying so damn hard. And no matter how many bad stuff I do to you, you never treat me the way I deserve. It's like you know the real me and it doesn't scare you off, like it would with anyone else. Plus, there was our first kiss too." Sam answered, biting her bottom lip on the last part while looking at Freddie out of the corner of her eye.

Now Freddie was well and truly surprised by Sam's declaration.

"I thought you agreed to that just to get it over with."

"I did, and to show you that I was sorry for telling everyone about you never kissing anyone before. But when we kissed, it was just…different in an unexpected way. I guess I never really forgot about that night after it happened." Sam confessed in a self-conscious manner.

She looked somewhat irritated when Freddie had no response to this.

"Well come on, Freddie! You can't honestly tell me that you haven't thought about it at least once after it happened! You love to dissect things and replay them over and over again in your head. Tell me I'm wrong." Sam dared.

As much as Freddie would've dearly have liked to set Sam straight, he knew he wouldn't be telling the truth. Try as he might, he hadn't forgotten that night that he and Sam had shared. It had made him look at her differently, at least as a friend if nothing else. Carly's obvious unhappiness about the entire debacle had made him think even more about the incident, especially of late. It felt like history was somehow repeating itself all over again, giving Freddie a true sense of dejavu.

"I can't tell you that, because I'd be lying if I did. That kiss was special because it marked a definite change in our relationship. It meant we didn't hate each other as much as we claimed to. And if I'm being honest, it was kinda nice." Freddie admitted with a small smile.

Suddenly, another image popped into his head. This time he wasn't leaning in to kiss Sam on a fire-escape with soft music playing in the background. This time, it was Carly with her chocolate-brown eyes meeting his and she was leaning over him while he lay on his bed with just a thin bathrobe covering his naked body. Her lips claimed his in a chaste and passionate kiss that literally took his breath away. And there she was again, smiling intimately at him, her hands moving to drape around his neck while she kissed him in the iCarly studio. Not Sam in the quad, just Carly in the hallway, Carly in his every waking thought, Carly in the forefront of his mind…

* * *

With a regretful twinge in his stomach, Freddie pulled himself unwillingly back to the present moment where Sam was waiting to hear the rest of his response. He couldn't think about Carly now, not when things were so awkward between them and she seemed to be moving further and further away from him, from both him and Sam these days.

"I didn't think it would happen again. I didn't know you felt that way about me, Sam. Otherwise, I wouldn't have started talking to you about Brad." Freddie continued, trying to focus on the blonde-haired girl in front of him without imagining that her hair looked a shade darker in the waning daylight and seeing a different face.

"It's cool, Freddie. I wasn't exactly shouting it from the rooftops." Sam declared with a light chuckle.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Why didn't you tell Carly?" Freddie asked curiously.

"You know why, Freddie." Sam answered without hesitation, her blue eyes boring holes right through him with their intensity.

"Because of me and Carly?"

Sam nodded solemnly and Freddie felt even guiltier for thinking about Carly in that moment.

"You've always liked her, one kiss that we shared evidently didn't change that. I never thought that she'd ever return your feelings, but she did a year ago, at least for a little while. And when you guys didn't keep dating after my 'foreign bacon' analogy, I figured that whatever I thought I felt before would just go away. I guess it didn't." Sam admitted with a shrug of her shoulders before staring off into space again.

"I guess not." Freddie agreed solemnly.

He pursed his hands together and stared straight ahead, just like Sam was currently doing, before breaking the silence again.

"So what happens now?" he asked carefully of her, daring to look her in the eye again.

Instead of her usual tactic of deflecting any conversation with a punch to the gut or pushing him over, Sam remained sitting passively in her position on the sofa, staring at Freddie with innocent eyes.

"Well…that's why I'm here, Freddie. So we can figure out what to do next. I like you, I guess I just need to know how you feel about me. So…what do you think?" Sam asked in a soft whisper, as they both got to their feet and stood facing each other.

Unwittingly, Freddie's mind drifted back to Carly, drifting back onto memories best left in the past: the feel of her hands draped around his neck while she kissed him, like he was the only boy she'd ever wanted; the way her body was pressed up against Brad's while they hugged each other in the quad, thinking that no one saw; the look of exhaustion and sadness on her face when she had left him standing alone in the hallway outside their apartments two nights ago.

And now Sam was standing in front of him, asking him to make a seemingly impossible choice. Ironically, he didn't want to hurt her or break her heart, after everything she'd ever done to hurt him. How had things gotten so screwed up over time? It was supposed to be simple: boy meets girl, boy falls head over heels in love with girl, girl feels the same way. Now Freddie wasn't even sure which girl that equation was meant for: Carly…or Sam? Two best friends, and he was the one who was on the brink of destroying that.

"I think that…I need some time, Sam. This is all been kinda out of the blue for me and I need to think about some things. Maybe a couple of days, I don't know." Freddie finally answered while scratching at his arm with his hand.

Sam was disappointed by his answer, but she covered it up well with her usual nonchalance and swagger.

"I understand." She replied graciously.

"I'm sorry I can't give you a real answer, Sam. Not just yet anyway," Freddie apologised, feeling strangely inadequate and frustrated with himself.

"It's cool, Freddie. Thanks for hearing me out and not running through a brick wall," Sam joked, causing both her and Freddie to laugh amiably, which eased some of the tension in the apartment.

"No problem," Freddie answered meekly.

"I should probably get going. I got kids to wrangle money out of and random hobos to pick fights with in the alley outside 'Chilli My Bowl'." Sam concluded by way of greeting while making her way to the door.

"Yeah, you can't keep those hobos waiting," Freddie returned, inwardly cursing himself for sounding so stupid.

"Yeah. I guess I'll see you later, Benson." Sam greeted with an attempt at her old confident indifference.

But both she and Freddie knew that the game was up. There was definitely no going back now. And what was left at the end of it all were even more questions than before.

"Later, Puckett," Freddie greeted back with a casual wave of his hand.

Sam looked back at Freddie one last time with an unfathomable expression on her face. And then she was gone, shutting the front door quietly behind her, a first. Freddie moved to the front door slowly and begrudgingly to lock it. And then he was unconsciously peering through the peep-hole at a blonde-haired girl with her head slightly bowed, trudging along the lonely hallway, another first.

It was as if time was moving backwards.

The only difference was that it had deliberately changed the faces and incidents of an unalterable keep-sake like reality.

* * *

**Author's Note: Alright, give it to me straight: can I write Seddie or what? No seriously, I'm actually asking :D I hope this was an illuminating chapter for all of you. I apologise if anyone was expecting Brad to jump out of a cake, wait till next chapter ;D ****A big thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 4 - it's gotten the most reviews out of all the chapters posted so far for this story. So thank you for making my week, you guys rock like a ham & cheese sandwich, put your hands together.** Have a great weekend, cheerio!


	6. Two Makes For Better Distractions

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week :D I was supposed to start my new part-time job this week at my old university. But I only worked for one day before I got sick with bronchitis, so :S I'm feeling a little better today, which is good news for all of you, because you get a new chapter out of me :D So here it is, hope you like.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, the characters or the setting in which the show takes place, just the muse. **

* * *

"And there you have it, folks: Gibby can't swim with Spencer dressed up as a shark in a kitty pool filled with chocolate milk chasing after him!" Sam called out boisterously with a goofy grin on her face.

"And remember, kids: don't take a shower right after this episode of iCarly! You never know where Shark Spencer may turn up next!" Carly exclaimed with a thumbs-up sign and a wide smile.

Freddie smirked at this while holding the main camera on his shoulder while filming the webisode. Brad stood behind Freddie's laptop, a pair of headphones on his ears while monitoring special effects and the like.

"Even though it's never been tested for having any scientific value whatsoever…"

"It's time for…"

"RANDOM DANCING!" Carly and Sam yelled in unison.

Sam pressed a button on her trusty blue remote control, which activated the disco ball hanging overhead while Brad keyed in a few prompts on Freddie's laptop and activated the music. And Freddie moved into position with his camera resting on his shoulder while Sam and Carly danced up a storm along with a sopping wet Gibby and Spencer dressed in a shark costume. They waved their arms frantically from side to side, their hair swinging to and fro about them, their legs bouncing and their bodies gyrating like crazy.

Freddie couldn't remember a time before this when he'd seen his two best friends so keyed up for an episode of iCarly. And in truth, neither could Sam or Carly. Sam, who had done way too much thinking in the past few days, allowed herself to shut down completely for a few blissful seconds. She didn't have to think at all while she danced – all she had to do was drift off and pretend she was flying. It was the exact opposite for Carly. Dancing made her feel everything with greater intensity; she could feel the endorphins crashing throughout her body and lighting up her senses. Instead of flying, she was falling: burning with a white hot flame till she collided with the ground head-on…

"And…CUT! Great job, you guys!" Freddie called out, a broad smile playing on his handsome face.

Brad was grinning appreciatively too, taking his headphones off and stopping the music. The disco ball finally stopped spinning and the normal lights in the studio reappeared. Both Sam and Carly were breathing hard and gasping for air, as if they had just run a marathon. Now that their moment of euphoria was complete, reality set in once more and their breathing returned to normal. For those few precious seconds, no one had to think about anything that felt out of place with the world at large. But now that the lights were back on, all those former feelings returned to the surface: confusion, paranoia, longing.

Jealousy.

"Man, it is hot in this costume!" Spencer complained while removing the head of the shark and fanning his sweaty face with it.

"You guys mind if I take a shower before I head home?" Gibby asked casually while gesturing to his wet and sticky clothes.

"Sure, you can use Spencer's shower. You're not using my shower after what happened last time." Carly responded in a reproving tone.

"That wasn't my fault! Spencer was still in full-on prank mode when that happened! I had to clean myself up, didn't I?" Gibby retorted defensively.

"Let's just agree never to talk about it again, Gibby." Carly suggested.

"Along with what the goat did to you at the petting zoo last year." Sam reminded slyly.

"I've heard you guys talk about that before. But I still don't know what actually happened with the goat." Brad stated in a pensive voice.

"And you probably never will, Brad. Carly's pledged an oath on that – Sam's the only person she's ever told." Freddie replied laughingly while stowing his camera safely in a bag.

"Mama knows how to keep a secret," Sam declared without hesitation.

She seemed to realise her mistake right away when Freddie and Carly both tensed up immediately at her words. Spencer and Gibby frowned in confusion at the trio's strange behaviour while Brad regarded them with a pensive expression on his face.

"I bet you do. Since Gibby's gonna use my shower, mind if I use yours, Carls?" Spencer asked, cutting into the awkward silence.

"Sure, go ahead. Gibby, you can put your clothes in the washing machine while you shower." Carly replied evenly, back to her normal self once again.

"Thanks, Carly." Gibby replied gratefully before he and Spencer exited the iCarly studio.

"I've got a sudden craving for cold cuts. Mind if I raid your refrigerator?" Sam stated with her usual nonchalance.

"Do you even have to ask?" Carly questioned with an indulgent smile on her face.

"Guess not," Sam remarked with a smile of her own before exiting the studio as well.

Freddie had finally finished packing away his camera along with various plugs and cables.

"I'm just gonna head to my apartment real quick and put my camera in a safe place." Freddie announced while zipping up the bag.

"Freddie, Sam's down in the kitchen. You don't really think she can possibly sneak back up here in the space of 10 seconds to hide it on purpose while you, me and Brad are still up here?" Carly asked matter-of-factly.

"She did the last time, and she managed to upload several videos of Pam's last bikini wax onto it too." Freddie retorted with revulsion.

Carly grimaced while Brad shuddered pointedly.

"Ok, you have a point. Best not to put any temptation in Sam's way," Carly agreed.

"Agreed. Brad, would you mind packing my laptop away in the meantime? I'll come back for it."

"No problem, Freddie."

"Thanks. See you guys in a few minutes."

And with that, Freddie was gone, leaving Carly and Brad standing together in the iCarly studio. Brad immediately got to work on shutting down the video feed captured by Freddie's camera on his laptop. Carly grabbed a towel resting on top of the big blue car standing in the studio and began mopping her face.

"You were great tonight, Carly." Brad began by way of introduction, glancing up from Freddie's laptop to look at the brunette.

"Both you and Sam were," he amended with a nervous chuckle and a tinge of a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"Thanks, Brad. But I bet I know who you liked best out of the two of us," Carly replied with a coy smile on her face, secretly pleased when Brad blushed all the more.

Brad didn't answer, but continued smiling back at Carly while gathering up all the equipment before him.

"It was a really great episode. Both you and Sam seemed really…energised." He offered after a few seconds of silence.

"I guess we were." Carly agreed, placing the towel back on top of the hood of the car.

"Does that mean you're feeling better about everything going on with you, Sam and Freddie lately?" Brad pressed in a cautious tone.

Carly turned and faced Brad, her brown eyes gleaming under the glimmer of the studio lights. She paused ever so slightly before responding.

"I think so. I guess I was just feeling confused about what happened between Sam and Freddie because of mine and Freddie's romantic history and because Sam and Freddie have kissed before. Seeing them kiss freaked me out and I couldn't stop thinking about what this might mean for my friendship with both of them. But I think it'll be ok, at least I hope it will be. It's up to Freddie and Sam now as to what they wanna do from here on out." Carly offered in a neutral tone.

Brad smiled again and closed the lid on Freddie's laptop before placing it in a special computer bag with extra padding. Then he came to stand in front of Carly with his hands thrust deep into his jeans pockets.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're feeling better. I don't like seeing you so sad about it," he replied earnestly, his eyes boring into Carly's to try and gauge her reaction.

"Well, I have you to thank for that. Thank you for listening to me two days ago and just letting me pour my heart out. I appreciate you being such a good friend to me when I really needed it." Carly responded sincerely, bowing her head slightly while she spoke.

"You're welcome, Carly."

An uncomfortable silence ensued where both Carly and Brad looked away from each other before turning to face each other again, chuckling abashedly at nothing in particular. Carly frowned slightly in bewilderment when Brad began running a lone hand through his light brown hair before speaking again.

"So listen, I was wondering – do you have any plans this Saturday night?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Not really. I figured I'd either just stay in or hang out with Sam and Freddie, I'm not sure. Why do you ask?" Carly asked curiously of Brad.

"Do you maybe wanna go out with me on Saturday night?" Brad questioned.

"You wanna go out?" Carly demanded in alarm.

"Yeah, I thought it might be fun. We could catch a movie or something," Brad suggested.

He was confused when Carly made no response save to continue goggling at him while taking a seat on top of the hood of the blue car.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I'm confused, Brad. Why do you wanna go out with me when you like Sam?" Carly questioned seriously.

Brad sighed loudly and came to join Carly on top of the hood of the car while they both stared off into space.

"Because I wanted to do something to take my mind off the fact that Sam likes Freddie now. I figured you might wanna do the same." Brad answered before glancing at Carly's side profile.

"What do you mean?" Carly asked in confusion.

"Well…Sam likes Freddie, and so do you. You said it yourself: you were weirded out by Sam and Freddie kissing because of your romantic history with Freddie. It wasn't that long ago, Carly. I think you're still having a hard time with the idea of him moving on before you do. I know it's hard for you to accept what may or may not be going on with him and Sam right now. And you did say that talking to me the other day helped take your mind off of it. So why don't we hang out this weekend and just forget about all this crazy drama?" Brad offered in an inviting manner.

Carly still looked doubtful, causing Brad to laugh in a disarming manner.

"It's not a date, Carly. Just two friends kicking back and making the most of a complicated situation. Whaddya say?" he asked patiently.

Carly bit her bottom lip while thinking it over. Then she looked up at Brad again; he was relieved to see that she was smiling this time.

"Ok, let's do it. I would love to hang out with you this weekend, Brad." Carly replied happily for the first time in days.

Her heart soared even more when she saw how much pleasure Brad gleaned just from her words alone, when he began smiling widely in response.

"You will? That's awesome, Carly." he returned with obvious delight.

Unbeknown to either Carly or Brad, Sam had hopped back into the elevator and proceeded down the hallway to ask them if they wanted to watch a movie on TV. She came towards the iCarly studio and was about to step through the glass door that was slightly ajar when she stopped short, hearing boisterous laughter inside. Curious, Sam stood with her back against the wall nearest to the opening in the door and listened intently, her body completely hidden from view.

"I'm really glad we're doing this, Brad. Thank you for asking me." Carly declared with genuine sincerity evident in her tone.

"You're welcome, Carly. I'm really looking forward to Saturday night. It's a date," Brad teased with a wink while playfully bumping Carly's shoulder, causing her to laugh even harder and cover up her mouth with one hand.

Sam didn't stick around to hear anymore, but walked away rapidly and soundlessly, in case Brad or Carly heard her. She didn't want them to think she'd been eavesdropping on their private conversation. She'd heard more than enough. As Sam skipped down the stairs, she scolded herself inwardly for not being more relieved. She hadn't wanted things to be uncomfortable between her and Carly after she kissed Freddie a few days ago. Sam berated herself for not being more cheerful about the fact that Carly and Brad seemed to be getting closer.

But the truth was, Sam wasn't happy about it at all, far from it. Things should've been relatively simple from here on out, now that the truth had been revealed. But Sam knew better than to hope for that.

Things were only about to get more complicated.

* * *

It took Freddie a minute to key in the password and place his camera in the safe in his bedroom. He switched on the monitor of his main computer on his desk and scanned iCarly's website for a couple of minutes after that. He grinned with relish while skimming through several of the positive posts left by loyal members, saying how much they had enjoyed tonight's webisode.

Truth be told, he thought it had been one of their best ones in a long time. Carly and Sam's energy on-screen had been contagious, it had even started rubbing off on him. These past few days had been so confusing after Sam had kissed him and Carly had started avoiding him. He'd had a lot to think about since then. But for the first time in days, Freddie was beginning to feel more like his former care-free self.

He re-entered the Shay's apartment and was surprised to find Sam alone in the kitchen. She was sitting cross-legged on a bar stool, tearing away at strips of meat from a chicken leg with her teeth, looking for all the world like she'd been sitting there the entire time.

"Hey, Sam. Where is everybody?" Freddie asked laughingly while looking about him.

"Gibby and Spencer are still showering. Carly and Brad are up in the studio." Sam explained nonchalantly in-between mouthfuls of chicken.

Freddie nodded and sauntered into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets, Sam's eyes following his every movement. When Freddie accidentally caught her staring at him, she looked away hastily and carried on devouring her chicken leg. A somewhat uncomfortable silence ensued between them; a bystander could've cut the tension in the air with a meat cleaver. Freddie searched frantically in his mind for something to break the sudden quiet.

"So um…great job tonight with iCarly." He began awkwardly.

"Trying to butter me up, Fredward? What's the occasion?" Sam questioned with a sardonic smirk on her face.

"What? Am I not allowed to compliment you when you do a good job on the show?" Freddie asked with a mixture of surprise and amusement.

"I didn't say that. Uh…thanks. You were uh…not so bad behind the uh…camera." Sam replied uncomfortably on the last part.

"Gee, thanks." Freddie retorted with his signature smirk in place.

Sam smiled back at Freddie, relieved that she hadn't said the wrong thing for once and that he was evidently happy in her company. For Freddie's part, he felt more at ease that Sam was acting more like her old self, but nicer and with less of an inclination to hit him in the stomach during intervals. He could definitely get on board with this composed and tranquil side of Sam, regardless of why it was suddenly emerging.

"So um…you got any plans this weekend?" Freddie asked slowly, surprising both him and Sam with the unexpected question.

"Uh…I don't know. If I'm not here at Carly's, I might swing by Wendy's and see if she wants to do something. Why you asking?" Sam questioned in a suspicious tone.

"This is probably gonna sound totally lame, but uh…would you like to go catch a movie on Saturday night?"

Sam nearly choked on a chicken bone that she'd been sucking on for the past few seconds. She hastily took it out of her mouth and put it back down onto a plate resting on the kitchen counter top while trying to compose herself.

"Benson, are you asking me out on a date?"

"I don't know…maybe. Yeah, I guess I am."

"You wanna go out with me…this Saturday night…on a date? _In public?_" Sam demanded in disbelief.

Freddie began feeling extremely warm in the face while Sam continued goggling at him. What was he thinking? This was completely and totally insane, this practically made him certifiable. He sifted around desperately in his mind for a way to fix this.

"Look, it doesn't have to be a date or anything, we can just hang out. We can ask Carly to come with, if it'll make you feel more comfortable." He suggested rapidly, congratulating himself on his brilliant solution.

Freddie frowned in confusion when Sam literally paled at his words.

"Sam, what's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"Nothing," Sam answered a little too quickly.

"It's not nothing, you look really weird. What's up?"

"I don't look weird! I'm totally fine."

"What's going on, Sam?" Freddie demanded suspiciously.

Sam knew it was probably best not to say anything. But Freddie was going to find out eventually; it might as well be now instead of later.

"Ok, I don't think you should invite Carly."

"Why not?"

"Because…I think she might have…plans." Sam mumbled.

"What kind of plans? With who?" Freddie questioned in a single breath.

Sam mumbled something which Freddie couldn't hear, making him all the more impatient.

"Sam! Who does Carly have plans with?" Freddie demanded exasperatedly.

"Brad." Sam replied hurriedly.

"She's going on a date with Brad…this Saturday night."

Freddie felt the strangest sensation in his body, like his heart was plummeting into his chest, as if he had fallen down a stair or two. At first, he thought Sam was just messing with him, like she always used to do whenever Carly liked a new guy, to test him and see how he'd respond. But the closer he looked at her face, the more that Freddie realised that Sam didn't look pleased at all. On the contrary, she looked uncertain and all the more weary.

"What?" Freddie asked in bewilderment, pressing a lone finger to his temple, closest to where the vein throbbed violently.

"They were talking about it a few minutes ago – I overheard them." Sam explained in a quiet voice.

Freddie could almost hear the non-verbal apology in her tone, as if she hadn't wanted to say the words in the first place. But it was too late to take it back now. And to think that he'd felt like everything was finally falling into place. Instead, it felt like a nightmare where he was falling through the air, his stomach rushing upwards into his throat, that moment of muted horror playing on his lips when he crashed to the ground right before waking up drenched in sweat.

Suddenly, Sam wasn't there anymore, it was just him. It had always just been him before. But now, everything was tainted with red. Stinging hot red that raced through his bones, making his skin feel like it was on fire. And then he was moving stubbornly forward, his fists clenched on either side and pulsing with heated magenta. He couldn't see anything else but Carly now, painted in that same blazing red, tasting like coppery bile on his tongue.

"Freddie-"

Sam stopped herself and stared in alarm at the look on Freddie's face. She'd never seen him look this angry before, and it chilled her to the bone. He was a satellite: floating in space, remote and completely out of reach. No amount of protesting would rouse him now. All she could do was watch dumbly as he marched forward to the elevator and punched a button with his fist on the panel. The steel doors opened at his undeniable request and he stepped inside. And the last thing she saw was his jaw set with resolution, taut fury playing on his cheek bones as the elevator doors smashed together with a loud crunching sound.

* * *

**Author's Note: And scene *dramatic pose* I think I really do like the even-numbered chapters of this story so far without any disrespect to the odd-numbered chapters :D When I said I was leading you down the rabbit hole, I wasn't playing around. Things are about to get dramatic from here on out. I don't mean "Skins" (UK, not US version) dramatic, but more up my alley of dramatic. I hope you all enjoyed this one. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go rest some more before I cough up a lung :P Have a great weekend, cheers!**


	7. Words I Didn't Really Want To Hear

**Author's Note: Helloo, everyone! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week :D I'm finally over my bronchitis and I went back to work this week. It's going good so far, I'm just really tired from the early risings. I'm actually posting this new chapter from my cubicle at work as we speak :P I apologise in advance if the quality of my writing suffers while I'm working part-time for the next couple of weeks ;D Spoiler alert: some of you probably won't like me by the end of this chapter. Just to give you a heads-up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, just the whimsical ideas behind this story and the ever-changing muse which faithfully accompanies it.  
**

* * *

It took Freddie a few seconds to arrive on the top floor of the Shay's apartment, where the iCarly studio was located. And in that time, Freddie honestly didn't know what he had thought about. The only thing driving him forward was reckless impulse, a feeling of jealous possession as old as time. He pushed the glass door open without bothering to knock first. There was no longer any point with dealing in pretences.

Brad and Carly, who were in the midst of laughing at some joke, stopped short when Freddie swept into the iCarly studio like a gust of wind.

"Hey, Freddie," Brad greeted gaily with a wave of his hand, getting up from the hood of the blue car.

Carly was the first to notice that something was wrong with Freddie as she too got down from the car. A few minutes ago, he had seemed content and in good spirits. But now, he just looked angry. And for the life of her, Carly couldn't figure out why.

"Freddie? Are you ok?" she asked in concern, stepping tentatively forward.

"I need to talk to you." Freddie spat out, ignoring Brad altogether, his eyes locked on Carly.

Brad narrowed his eyes in bewilderment and cautiously approached Freddie as well. He grew more worried the longer Freddie stood in the exact same place, his entire body trembling with some unfathomable emotion.

"Dude, what's going on?" Brad finally asked.

"Brad, could you give me and Carly a moment?" Freddie questioned abruptly, glancing once at Brad before facing Carly again.

"But I thought you wanted me to pack up the equipment." Brad pointed out with a gesture towards the computer on the cart.

"I'll pack everything up myself. You can go home, Brad."

It wasn't a request, it was a command. Neither Carly nor Brad was slow in realising the difference.

Brad threw Carly a meaningful look while Carly continued staring at Freddie in wonder.

"Ok. I'll um…see you guys later." Brad greeted in an uncomfortable voice.

"Bye, Brad." Carly replied, trying her best to smile in spite of the overwhelming tension filling the entire room.

Brad gave her a small smile before walking to a corner of the room and grabbed his jacket. With one last look at the dark-haired pair who weren't speaking, he left the iCarly studio and closed the glass door gently behind him. Freddie didn't spare Brad a single look as he left, his eyes on Carly the entire time. Carly swallowed down a breath trapped in her throat, feeling like she was being X-rayed.

"Freddie…what's going on?" Carly probed in a small voice.

Freddie remained silent for a few seconds. He'd been so sure of what he was going to say the minute Sam clued him in on what was going on between Brad and Carly. He'd even gone so far as to get Brad out of the way so that he could confront Carly once and for all. But now that he was standing in front of her, Freddie was struck dumb by frustrating bewilderment. He couldn't understand why he was feeling this way after everything that had happened lately.

He wasn't supposed to feel betrayed.

"Freddie?" Carly tried once more.

"Things have been different between us ever since Saturday night happened when Sam kissed me. I thought it was because the situation made you uncomfortable, because Sam and I have kissed before and because you and I were...a thing before all this. I blamed myself because I was the one who told you about Sam's feelings in the first place; I just didn't know they were aimed at me. I felt like you were pulling away from me because of that. But I was wrong; it had absolutely nothing to do with any of this." Freddie began in a shaky voice.

"What are you talking about?" Carly questioned in confusion while holding onto one arm with the other.

"You've been distant and secretive lately. And now I know why."

"Freddie-"

"When were you gonna tell me about Brad, Carly?"

Carly retracted the hand that had been slowly reaching out to Freddie. Her eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement while she studied the rigidity of Freddie's jaw.

"Brad?"

"You seemed so mad at the idea of me and Sam keeping secrets from you days ago. As it turns out, you were holding out on the fact that you have a date with Brad this Saturday night." Freddie explained in a tone laced with cool derision.

Carly had never seen Freddie like this before. His jaw was set with repressed anger and his hands seemed to be pulsing at his sides, like he was seconds away from slamming them into a wall. After waiting a whole year, Freddie had finally decided to play his due role as the jealous ex-boyfriend. Carly didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed.

How had he heard about what Brad had asked her? Carly thought that Freddie had just come back into the apartment. Had he been eavesdropping this entire time? It hardly mattered now. Freddie looked about ready to break out into a furious tirade and Carly needed to find a way to quickly diffuse the mounting tension.

"Freddie, what you heard-"

"I guess I should probably be used to this by now. Ever since I broke up with you a year ago, you've gone out of your way to pretend like us dating never happened by taking an interest in other guys. But Brad's an intern for the webshow, you don't have to sneak around. If you like him, you should just be straight with me, Carly." Freddie interjected shortly.

Carly's lips parted in astonishment at Freddie's tone of voice and the words coming out of his mouth. A few seconds ago, she had wanted to pacify his evident agitation. But now Carly found she was the one who was becoming increasingly agitated by Freddie's accusations.

"You want me to be straight with you?" she demanded incredulously, folding her arms across her stomach.

"Well…we are friends, aren't we? I told you about Sam, you should've told me about Brad." Freddie returned in somewhat of an abashed tone.

"And this is you acting like a friend?" Carly retorted waspishly.

Freddie stiffened at the sudden ferocity in Carly's voice. And it made him all the more indignant at what he had recently discovered in the past few minutes.

"I guess not. Friends talk to each other," he snapped in a crisp voice.

"Well, maybe I can't talk to you or Sam anymore." Carly declared against her better judgment.

"Can you talk to Brad?" Freddie sneered in spite of himself.

Carly stepped backwards as if Freddie had slapped her.

"Freddie, why are you being like this?" she questioned in a hurt tone.

Freddie honestly didn't know. It was if he had no control over the words pouring out of his mouth from deep within. After all these years, why was he suddenly feeling so resentful and detached from Carly? Nothing made sense anymore after Saturday night.

"I don't know." He answered helplessly, feeling an all-too familiar pang in his chest at the words.

Carly shook her head and began pacing around him, her arms folded tightly across her chest. When she finally came to a stand-still in front of Freddie, he was alarmed to see unshed tears in her eyes while she avoided his gaze.

"I thought I could just forget about everything that's happened between you, me and Sam in the space of two years. I thought if I buried it deep enough, it would eventually just go away and we could pretend it never happened." She whispered more to herself than to Freddie.

Then with some reluctance, Carly finally steeled herself to look at Freddie directly, subtly taking a deep breath while she spoke.

"But I guess I can't do that anymore, it's not fair to either of us. We have to deal with this head-on." She concluded in a solemn tone.

"Carls, what are you talking about?" Freddie questioned.

"Freddie, we can't pretend that nothing's changed between all three of us. Everything's different now and we can't go back to how we used to be." Carly stated morosely.

Freddie nodded slowly, guessing that Carly might take this line of reasoning.

"So where does that leave us?" he asked quietly of her while folding his arms across his stomach.

Several salty tears escaped Carly's eyes and she hastened to wipe them away with her fingertips before speaking.

"There's only one thing we can do to fix this, Freddie." She answered in a shaky voice wrought with mirthless resignation.

"You have to move on."

* * *

Freddie blinked for several seconds while staring in bewilderment at Carly, who looked at him with vacant eyes that gave nothing away. For the second time all evening, he had been rendered stunned into muted disbelief due to words he never thought he'd hear.

"What?" he asked in spite of himself.

"You have to move on. I need you to move on, Freddie."

"Move on from what exactly?"

"From me, Freddie. This crush you've had on me for years…I told you from the start that it wouldn't work between us. I only ever wanted us to be friends. Whatever it is that you're looking for and wanting from me, I can't give it to you, Freddie. I'm sorry it has to be this way, you have no idea how sorry. But…I need you to forget about me."

Forget about her? It was like Carly was a doctor telling Freddie to cut off his own arm with a blunt axe. No sedatives or anaesthetics, just blinding pain and a terrible sense of muted dislocation.

The idea was impossible to him.

"I want you to give Sam a chance. She really cares about you, Freddie."

Freddie stared incredulously back at Carly. He'd always thought he was one of the few people who could tell what she was thinking. But upon careful reflection, he knew that wasn't true at all. Carly had never seemed less real to him than in these precious few minutes. The thought caused his pulse to quicken and his jaw to harden with disbelieving rage.

"I can't believe this." Freddie muttered with a mirthful chuckle, his hands going towards the back of his head while he began pacing furiously about on the spot.

"Freddie, listen to me-"

"Where is this even coming from? Do you even hear yourself right now? This isn't you talking!" Freddie spat angrily, turning back again and pointing an accusing finger in Carly's direction.

"Is this because of Brad?" he asked in a small voice as reality began to set in.

Carly knew that Freddie would eventually ask her about Brad. She had two choices in front of her: lie or tell the truth. And as it turned out, both were infinitely hard to do.

"Yes." Carly answered, choosing the easy way out and feeling her heart slowly shatter from deep within.

While Carly's anguish was gradual in revealing itself, it was the complete opposite for Freddie. He felt the sudden agony all too quickly, pummelling him from the inside outwards till he felt battered and bruised from head to toe. He hadn't known that one word from the girl he'd spent half a lifetime being in love with could hurt so much.

All it had taken was one word of affirmation to negate everything he knew to be true.

"So you want me to forget about my feelings for you? You want me to forget about what happened between us a year ago? This is what you're asking of me?" Freddie asked in a would-be-calm voice, even though his inner thoughts spoke volumes of hushed sorrow.

"You were right about what happened between us last year, it was a mistake. You were just foreign bacon to me, Freddie." Carly answered in a hapless tone that did nothing to salvage the situation.

Freddie was plummeting to the ground; it was a nightmare. All of Sam's words over the years were finally coming true.

And it was killing him.

But he didn't know how to make it stop, how to make time stop turning on what may very well be the worst moment of his entire existence. His Adam's apple throbbed while he struggled to keep a lid on his emotions, which were already at breaking point. He was barely aware that he was backing away from Carly, putting up an impenetrable wall between them.

"Thanks for being honest with me, Carly. I hope you and Brad will be really happy together."

Freddie made sure to inject his words with as much acidic contempt as he could muster. The look on Carly's face confirmed that she had understood all too well what he thought of her now. But Freddie was past the point of caring about what she wanted or needed.

He walked slowly and assuredly, but blindly as if he were completely lost to himself. His hand grabbed at the door knob like a life-line, pulling him out of the turbulent waves trying to claim him. And just for good measure, he made his meaning all too plain when he slammed the door behind him.

Carly winced at the sound of the glass and wood hammering together as Freddie left the studio and her life, literally and figuratively. The first of many tears began running down her cheeks, burning against her skin as she sat back down on top of the hood of the blue car.

It was a relief not to have to pretend anymore. She could finally cry her heart out and give into her innate despair.

No one would be the wiser now.

* * *

Freddie didn't know how he had gotten here. But the idea of closing the door to the Shay's apartment and entering his own just wouldn't do. He was still too close to Carly; he needed to put some distance between him and her.

That's when he had begun wandering the streets in a haphazard manner with no clear destination in mind.

And somehow, he had found himself in the neighbourhood where Sam lived. Was it by accident or instinct? Freddie didn't know; he was tired of questioning anything anymore.

He kept going, kept moving his legs forward until he was pushing the rusty iron gate open, which led up to the front porch of Sam's house. To his surprise, Sam was sitting on the steps leading to the front door, clearly deep in thought.

She gave a start when she saw Freddie standing before her, his hands clenched into unmistakable fists. She had a feeling that he would eventually come find her and berate her for telling him about Carly and Brad. And she still wasn't ready to face him. It had been different when she had tortured him relentlessly in the past. It hadn't mattered to her then whether anything she said or did actually hurt him, especially when it came to Carly.

It mattered to her now. And what was worse was that she didn't have a clue how to fix this.

Freddie was coming towards her slowly, gradually relaxing his stance as Sam got to her feet simultaneously. The wind was catching in her blonde hair and her eyes were clouded over with dark blue wretchedness. On top of everything Freddie was currently feeling, it physically hurt to see Sam this way, her guard irrevocably down and washed away.

"Freddie-"

"I've made up my mind, Sam." Freddie interjected calmly.

Before Sam could do anything, Freddie moved well into her personal bubble and kissed her. His hands moved to cup the back of her head and grip her arm resting at her side while his mouth urgently met hers in the stillness of their hearts thumping erratically in their chests. And Sam was powerless to stop it; she didn't want to fight anymore. Just like when she was dancing hours ago, she was falling again, shutting down completely for a few blissful seconds.

They finally stopped kissing. Freddie didn't let go of her though, but continued holding onto her arms and staring deep into her blue eyes, his brown eyes smouldering and fathomless. Sam couldn't think of anything to do or say that wouldn't sound completely stupid in the moment, so she gave Freddie her usual smirk instead that seemed to suffice for every occasion under the sun. And then they continued staring at each other under the full moon rising in full bloom overhead, alight with its own ethereal mystery.

* * *

**Author's Note: Didn't I say that some of you probably won't like me by the end of this chapter? Admittedly, some of you might just end up loving me for how I ended this chapter, but I was also prepared in advance for that ;D I think I've finally figured out how I'm going to end this story, and I'm also anticipating a lot of mixed emotions over that. But this is what I expected when I sought to write my own interpretation of events following iOMG - it's a catch-22 :D It just occurred to me to supply an initial playlist of angsty songs filtering through my head throughout while writing the chapters for this story, so here they are: **

**Regina Spektor - Hero (OST '500 Days Of Summer')**

**Bon Iver - Skinny Love**

**Muse - Plug In Baby**

**Modest Mouse - Float On**

**Coldplay - X&Y**

**Florence & The Machine - Cosmic Love**

**Adele - Turning Tables **

**Phantom Planet - Raise The Dead**

**Arcade Fire - Ready To Start  
**

**I think that concludes the angst for this week ;D Until next week, I've taken great pains and pleasure in leading you astray once again. So please indulge me just this once and leave me some reviews - just 8 more to go before I hit 100. Have a great weekend, cheers!  
**


	8. Old Obsessions Always Rise From The Dead

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week with an awesome weekend on the way to sweeten the deal :D A big thank you to sockstar for proof-reading this chapter for me weeks in advance and giving me some much needed encouragement, you're my home-boy. Mood music for this chapter: 'Raise The Dead' by Phantom Planet. Enjoy :D**

* * *

Freddie exited his apartment and closed the front door behind him with a soft click. Then he stared with a weary countenance at the front door immediately before him in the hallway. He hadn't set foot in the Shay's apartment since Wednesday night when he and Carly had fought about Brad and Sam in the iCarly studio. His stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch at the unpleasant memory which filled him with irrepressible guilt and dread. But there was no point avoiding the place anymore. Even if he and Carly were no longer friends, he was still iCarly's tech producer. And he needed to perform some much needed software installations on the main computer and to test everything out before their next rehearsal.

He could've easily asked Brad to do it for him and then he wouldn't have had to set foot in the studio until the following Wednesday afternoon. But that meant actually talking to Brad, and Freddie really didn't want to do that. He couldn't understand why he felt sudden resentment towards a guy that had been both a colleague and friend up till this point. Nothing made any more sense to Freddie. It was like everything he knew to be true had quickly evaporated into thin air in the blink of an eye, including his feelings towards Sam.

Sam.

He had kissed her three nights ago. And it was Saturday afternoon and they were supposed to be going to the Crown Ridge Mall to watch a movie, then dinner afterwards. Freddie had made sure to clarify that it was indeed a date while he and Sam had stood together outside her house on Wednesday night. The notion was completely surreal to Freddie, yet oddly pleasant at the same time. He wasn't sure how they had gotten to this particular juncture in their dynamic, but Freddie was done questioning any of it. Everything happened for a reason, even the most bizarre of occurrences. And he wasn't about to let any issues between him and Carly ruin that.

With that in mind, Freddie had called ahead to Spencer's cellphone and specifically asked him if Carly was at home. To his intense relief, Carly wasn't and wouldn't be home for another hour or so. If he worked quickly, Freddie could fulfil his technical duties and still get back to his own apartment in time to shower and change before picking Sam up for their date and Carly wouldn't be the wiser. Freddie smirked appreciatively to himself at his ingenuity before knocking on the Shay's front door.

"One sec!" Spencer roared from behind the wooden door.

Freddie heard running footsteps coming towards him and the scrabbling sounds of a door being unlocked.

"Freddie-O!" Spencer greeted in a gleeful tone, a manic smile plastered on his face.

"Hey, Spencer," Freddie greeted brightly.

"Come on in," Spencer invited, standing aside to let the younger boy enter.

"How come the front door was locked?" Freddie asked curiously after Spencer locked it again.

"Oh uh…I just uh…wanted some privacy to um meditate and uh…collect my thoughts." Spencer explained haphazardly with a variety of hand gestures.

"You were beaming things with your egg shooter while naked again, weren't you?" Freddie questioned with a shrewd smirk on his face.

"It's not as fun as it might seem." Spencer concluded ruefully.

Freddie nodded with a wide grin on his face, trying very hard not to laugh. Spencer however, caught sight of Freddie's smile and scowled at the teenage boy.

"Anyway, I'd better get started on those computer installations," Freddie stated quickly.

"Ok. Well, you know where the iCarly studio is. You'd better get started on all your…nerd things." Spencer concluded, being sure to say the last part with slight derision and air-quotes, which didn't fool Freddie in the least.

Freddie shook his head and chuckled to himself as he got into the elevator and rode it up to the studio, leaving Spencer to his strange devices.

The laughter died on his lips when he opened the studio door and stepped inside. It wasn't the setting itself which disturbed him, just the inescapable memories of what had transpired between him and Carly two nights ago. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. His mind's eye was fixated on the look on Carly's face when he had walked out. He tried his best to shove the morbid thoughts of out of his head while he began setting up his laptop and beginning the various installations. He grabbed his headphones and turned on some music in his PearTunes library, skimming through the iCarly site and checking its overall security and the strength of its numerous firewalls.

He was so engrossed in his technical duties that he only vaguely heard someone calling his name in close proximity. Without thinking twice about it, Freddie began singing out loud while working on his laptop:

"They say 'power to the people'. But we don't want power, we want pleasure," Freddie crooned in a high-pitched voice.

"…And we try to be faithful, but we're cheatin', cheatin', CHEATIN'!"

"Freddie?"

He switched off the music and took his headphones off, thinking he'd heard something. He glanced to his right and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Carly standing close to him.

"Carly? What are you doing here?" he questioned.

"I live here." Carly retorted with one hand on her hip.

"Not up here though," Freddie remarked stupidly with a finger pointed at the floor.

"The iCarly studio's in my apartment." Carly reminded with a forced smile. "What are you doing here, Freddie?"

"Just doing some technical updates and installations for iCarly and checking to make sure everything's running before our next rehearsal. That's if I still am iCarly's technical producer." Freddie stated, being sure to emphasise the last part.

Carly's hand dropped from her side and she regarded Freddie with a pained expression. And then she was taking a few steps closer towards him so that only the cart stood between them.

"Of course you are, Freddie. I would never kick you off the show just because you and I are fighting. You're a great technical producer. I don't wanna lose you."

"Just as iCarly's technical producer?" Freddie asked, feigning mild curiosity amidst his thumping heart.

Carly sighed and bit her bottom lip, her hand resting on the edge of the cart as if she needed support to stand on her two feet.

"In any capacity. But I guess that's too much to ask for after everything that's happened recently." Carly replied morosely, finally daring to look Freddie in the eye.

"So we're not friends anymore?"

"You tell me. You're the one who walked out the door."

"I was angry and confused."

"What are you now?"

"I don't really know anymore. Just a little bit of…everything." Freddie admitted in a haphazard manner.

Carly nodded in agreement, thinking that Freddie's words pretty much summed up what they'd both been feeling lately.

"I should head to my bedroom. I've gotta go and…get ready." Carly offered as words of parting.

"Of course, your hot date with Brad. Well, don't let me stop you." Freddie remarked sardonically with a sweeping gesture of his hands towards the iCarly studio.

Carly emitted a mirthless laugh at Freddie's response and shook her head, stalking past him en route to the studio door. She changed her mind mid-way through reaching out to grab the door handle and whipped around to face Freddie once more.

"Is this how it's really gonna be from now on between us, Freddie? Snide comments and back-handed insults?" she demanded heatedly while folding her arms.

"I don't know, Carly! You told me to move on – I don't know what's left after that. I don't know how else to be," Freddie confessed in a penitent tone.

"Me neither," Carly agreed, her arms falling to her sides once more.

"It's not like we're really losing anything here, except years of friendship," she added haphazardly, suddenly feeling forlorn at the prospect.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." Freddie agreed sardonically.

"Just answer me this: why Brad?" he questioned seriously.

Carly shrugged and looked down at the ground.

"He was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. He's been here a lot lately," she responded with just a hint of accusation in her voice.

Freddie's lips curled into an ironic smirk. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine what could possibly make him smile in this particular moment. And then he was walking closer to Carly, his arms swinging at his sides.

"Brad's not here right now, Carly. And you're talking to me," he declared in a low murmur, his eyes boring into Carly.

Freddie was leaning imperiously over Carly, as if to accentuate the fact that he was towering over her, both physically and emotionally. Carly knew exactly what he was trying to do, and it surprised her. Even with all of Freddie's previous attempts to get her to like him and to get rid of the competition for her affections, Freddie had never once tried to compete with Carly herself for that one thing that he'd always wanted: her heart. Carly kept her hands at her sides and maintained eye contact with Freddie, even though it felt like her knees were about to buckle beneath her.

"We're not talking, we're fighting." Carly clarified with an air of aloofness that belied her internal struggle.

"That's something new for the both of us." Freddie offered with a rueful smile on his face.

"That seems to be the norm lately." Carly declared.

"Why does it have to be this way?"

"I…I don't know."

Before Carly could even process what was happening, Freddie had pulled her close to him, his hands locked around her wrists like shackles, his breath fanning her cheeks, their bodies pressed painfully together.

"Freddie-"

"Brad's not here, Carly. It's just you and me…"

Freddie had no idea what he was saying; he'd never done anything like this before. But he couldn't stop, now that he had Carly in his arms in a way that hadn't been the case for a whole year. He was barely aware of what was happening when Carly suddenly jerked out of his hold and pushed against his stomach. But she wasn't moving away from him, far from it. Her eyes lifted to meet his while her hands dragged painstakingly across the contours of his chest and broad shoulders.

Freddie's breath gathered in his throat while his hands moved along the planes of Carly's arms, making the wild thumping of his heart seem even louder in his ears. For Carly, her breathing was far too erratic to catch the sounds of her pulsing heart rate. The way Freddie was looking at her made her want into melt into a puddle on the floor. And then the two of them were leaning infinitely closer to each other till the air coming out of their mouths and noses was indistinguishable, their lips grazing against each other...

* * *

As Freddie and Carly leant impossibly closer to each other, their lips just inches apart, they were interrupted by a loud cry.

"CARLAAAAY!"

Freddie and Carly jumped apart like they had been electrocuted at the sound of Spencer's screams filtering into the studio from downstairs. They disentangled themselves and Carly ran ahead of Freddie out of the studio and sprinted down the stairs.

To Carly's horror, Spencer was fanning what looked like a fish bowl resting on the kitchen counter that was on fire with one of his sweaters.

"Spencer! What happened?" Carly shrieked in alarm while Freddie stared at the scene with wide eyes.

After swiping at the glass bowl a few times, Spencer managed to put out the fire. He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and collapsed onto a barstool in evident exhaustion.

"The fish bowl caught fire," he offered after a few seconds.

"I can see that. Why didn't you use the fire extinguisher to put out the fire?" Carly demanded exasperatedly.

"Because that's what started the fire." Spencer replied facetiously while taking a shuddering breath.

"It's a fire extinguisher – how is that even possible?" Freddie questioned in confusion.

"With Spencer, anything's possible." Carly muttered under her breath which was loud enough for Freddie to hear.

"I just finished installing a tiny disco ball so that Spuncer could party it up in his fish bowl. So I used the fire extinguisher as a make-shift smoke machine…and that's when the fish bowl caught fire." Spencer explained in a pathetic voice.

"So you killed another fish – with a fire extinguisher?" Carly asked drolly.

"You named your fish Spuncer?" Freddie queried, his face wrinkling in bewilderment.

"Yes and yes again." Spencer answered lamely, bowing his head in shame.

Carly rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Freddie sighed and glanced momentarily at his watch.

"I should probably go. I'm gonna head home and…take a shower." He stated rapidly.

"But what about your laptop? It's still upstairs." Carly pointed out with a gesture towards the stairs.

"I'll swing by later and pick it up, if that's ok." Freddie replied hastily, trying to smile and failing miserably.

"Yeah, it's fine." Carly answered in a small voice, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

Spencer was muttering to himself while depositing the smoky fish bowl into the kitchen sink while Freddie and Carly continued staring at each other, a myriad of emotions and disjointed internal dialogue reflected in their eyes. And then Freddie scratched the back of his head with his hand, retreating backwards towards the front door. And then he turned around on his heels, his hands deep in his jeans pockets, walking steadily through the door and closing it softly behind him without a backwards glance.

Carly remained where she was, her arms dropping to her sides once more, her fists clenched so tightly that the skin around her knuckles looked on the verge of breaking. The sound of a toilet flushing in close proximity sounded in her ears, but it barely registered with her as her eyes remained fastened on the wooden door which stood between her and Freddie. Spencer came bounding back into the living room, wiping his hands with a small towel.

"This is getting a little too clichéd," he mumbled to himself with a glance in the direction of the bathroom.

He frowned in confusion when he looked over at Carly and realised that his kid sister was sobbing, rivulets of tears streaming down her cheeks with reckless abandon.

"Hey, don't be sad, Carls. We'll get another fish," he chided soothingly.

"I'm not crying about a fish, Spencer." Carly declared hoarsely, trying to steady her hiccoughing breaths, willing the tears to dissipate.

"Then why are you crying? What's wrong, Carly?" Spencer questioned in concern, moving closer towards her.

Carly emitted a shaky chuckle, wiping vigorously at her cheeks with the backs of her hands, her shoulders quivering with the effort of holding her feelings inside for too long.

"I thought I had this all figured out, Spencer. I thought…if I could just get through this and pretend that everything was ok and normal, then everything would work out by itself. But nothing's working; everything's falling apart, Spencer. And it's all my fault." Carly declared with a dejected spirit.

Then warmth flooded her face again, giving way to more tears, which spilled down her cheeks and streamed down onto her neck.

"I'm not fine. Far from it."

Then Carly gave up the pretence altogether and let her every thought and feeling fall from her eyes down her face while she stood hugging herself in a pitiable state.

And all Spencer could do was stand by idly and watch her come apart.

* * *

**Author's Note: I feel like a louse for making Carly cry. But it's gotta be done - crying's very therapeutic in some cases. Besides, how else am I gonna depict this story in a 'telenovela' light? without lots of crying and people slapping each other? In case anyone's wondering, Freddie was singing along to Regina Spektor's 'Hero' in the iCarly studio. I got inspired by that scene in 'iThink They Kissed' with Freddie singing that sappy song out loud for this chapter. Coincedence? I think not ;D I'd like to thank you all out there for sending me so many reviews for last week's update, I'm so overwhelmed in the best possible way. All you out there rock for your continuous support of my writing and for not burning last week's chapter. Well, I think we've covered the basics for this week, I'll be on my merry way now. Live long and prosper, cheerio!**


	9. Silent Chagrin Speaks Greater Volumes

**Author's Notes: Hello, fans of iCarly! How's the vibe this week with a few days to go on 'iParty With Victorious'. I'm beginning to feel like one of the few people genuinely excited to see this cross-over, oh well. I'm so overwhelmed by the support for this story by both Seddie and Creddie fans, you guys are all awesome. I'm purposely buttering you all up because you may not like me a whole lot by the end of tbis chapter. You've been warned. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the characters depicted in this story, just my awesome movie titles :P**

* * *

By the time Brad arrived at the Shay's apartment that Saturday evening, Carly's tears had subsided and she had arranged her face into a placidly nonchalant mask. With a hurried farewell, Carly left with Brad in tow, leaving Spencer to ponder on the mysterious ways of all women, including his sister.

If Brad thought that Carly's face looked a touch too shiny or her brown eyes a tad too opaque, he didn't say so outright. Instead, he kept the mood as light hearted as possible by talking to Carly about a multitude of different things and cracking jokes during intervals. And Carly in turn played her part well by laughing and smiling, even though her insides said otherwise.

They got to the Crown Ridge Mall around 5pm, a good 30 minutes before the next set of movies were scheduled to start. By the time they got up to the cineplex, Carly was in much better spirits. Freddie could think whatever he liked, she was determined to have a good time with Brad tonight.

"So what movie do you feel like watching?" Brad asked of Carly while they both scanned the roster of movies showing at the cineplex.

"I'm not sure, you pick." Carly suggested graciously.

"Carly, I'm asking you. If I pick, we'll end up watching a Sci-Fi flick like 'Dunes Of Doom'. Do you really wanna watch a Sci-Fi flick?" Brad asked of Carly with a teasing grin on his face.

"I really don't mind." Carly persisted.

"Carly, you really don't have to do that; we'll watch something you wanna watch. What about…'Mabel's Incandescent Journey Of Love'?" Brad asked while reading off the title of a movie from a nearby poster.

"That's a romantic comedy, Brad."

"So? What's wrong with a good old Rom-Com?"

"I read up on that movie online. Mabel's best friend, Lazlo, is this really sweet guy who's totally in love with her. But she doesn't feel the same way and ends up falling for Lazlo's best friend, Bruno, who's a complete jerk to her." Carly recited drolly.

Brad's smile vanished at that.

"'Dunes of Doom' it is," he replied rapidly.

"Hey, do you wanna get the tickets while I grab us some snacks?"

"Sure."

"Great. Here's some money to pay for them. What do you want me to get you?"

"Hmm…how 'bout some Preppy Cola, a small popcorn and some red liquorice?" Carly asked politely.

"Comin' right up," Brad responded with a winning smile in her direction, which made Carly grin in turn.

Then she turned her attention to the guy behind the counter and asked for two tickets to 'Dunes Of Doom' for the next show starting in a few minutes.

"Thank you," Carly replied politely with a smile on her face as the guy handed her two tickets and her change back.

Then she moved out of the way of the big queue beginning to form while trying to keep an eye out for Brad, who was at the front of the line ordering their snacks. Carly began absent-mindedly scanning the tickets for where she and Brad would be sitting in the cinema while pacing on the spot. In her distraction, Carly walked right into a broad-muscled chest.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm – Freddie?" Carly questioned in alarm.

Sure enough, it was Freddie that she had just rammed right into. While she had lost her footing somewhat, Freddie looked like he hadn't even felt the impact. Carly wondered idly just how often he was hitting the gym these days.

"Carly? What are you doing here?" Freddie demanded in surprise, looking about him in confusion.

"Brad and I are catching a movie." Carly explained haphazardly.

"_Here?" _

"Where else would I go? Everyone knows that the Crown Ridge Mall has the best cineplex nearest to Kennedy Square."

Carly was beginning to get annoyed by Freddie's obvious surprise at her being in places she regularly frequented, like the mall and her own home.

Just then, Brad came strolling towards Carly and Freddie, carrying two plastic trays with snacks on them.

"There you are, Carly. Here are your snacks – hey, Freddie." Brad greeted tentatively, his voice sounding more shrill than usual.

"Hey, Brad." Freddie greeted stiffly.

Brad couldn't think of anything else to say, so he continued standing there with a nervous smile on his face.

"Freddie, why are you here?" Carly demanded of Freddie.

"Well uh, actually…"

Before he could elaborate further, the answer to Carly's question came walking out of the girl's bathroom in close proximity.

"Yo, Fredward. Did you get the drinks? You know how Mama loves her a good Fat Shake…" Sam trailed off, locking eyes with Carly and feeling both surprised and abashed at the same time.

"Sam?" Carly asked in bewilderment.

"Hey, Carls. Didn't expect to see you here," Sam greeted with a lame wave of her hand before shoving it right back into her pants pocket.

"Hey, Brad." She offered a second later without quite meeting his eye.

"Hey, Sam," Brad greeted back, a wry smile on his face.

"So…are you guys here…together?" Carly questioned hesitantly, looking between Freddie and Sam.

Sam shifted uncomfortably, but managed to look Carly in the eye.

"Yeah…we are."

"We're on a date." Freddie added far more steadily while looking Carly dead in the eye.

Carly saw the truth of Freddie's words when she glanced over Sam's attire. Sam didn't look extremely girly, but anyone with eyes could see that she had put just a little more effort into her wardrobe than usual. She was wearing a cute baby pink tank top with a silver unicorn on the front that Carly had gotten her for her birthday the year before, although this was the first time Carly was actually seeing it on her. Along with that, she sported a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with her signature pair of multi-coloured Converse sneakers and a grey cardigan on her shoulders. She'd even applied a hint of lip gloss to her mouth to complete the look and kept her mass of curly blonde hair flowing over her shoulders as per usual. Carly had to admit, Sam looked really pretty and happier than she'd seen her in years.

It was all for Freddie.

And it hurt.

The fact hadn't been lost on Brad either, his eyes locked on Sam. Carly rolled her eyes subtly at this. So that was two guys who were in love with her best friend at the same time. And all the four of them could do was stand there and look at each other, lost in their own bubble of chaos, oblivious to other movie-goers milling around them in the crowded cineplex.

To make matters worse, Gibby arrived on the scene at that moment with Patrice in tow, carrying what looked like the biggest plastic bowl of popcorn that anyone had ever seen.

"Hey, guys. What's cracka-lacking?" Gibby greeted nonchalantly before taking a big swig from the giant plastic cup in his other hand.

"Hey, Gibby," Brad greeted, happy to see a familiar face.

"Gibby? What are you doing here?" Carly asked in surprise.

"Catching a movie. Patrice and I are gonna go watch the sequel for 'The First Kiss'. It's called 'The Second Kiss'. That's right, I'm all about the love." Gibby offered with a seedy grin on his face.

"Hey, Freddie," Patrice greeted cordially.

"Patrice," Freddie greeted curtly, still remembering the fact that she ditched him for Gibby months ago because she liked his 'werewolf' look better than his sultry 'Fredward Cullen' demeanour.

There were just some things he would never understand about girls and their taste in guys.

"What happened to Tasha?" Sam questioned curiously.

"He and Tasha aren't _exclusive_," Freddie submitted in a scathing tone.

"As it turns out, we kinda were. That's when she dumped me, after she found out about me and Patrice. But it's all good because Tasha's in Europe right now pursuing her lifelong dream of becoming an underwear model and Patrice and I are exclusive now." Gibby explained while he and Patrice shared a loving look.

"Congrats, bro," Brad offered good-naturedly while Carly, Sam and Freddie continued gaping in astonishment at Gibby.

"So, are you guys on a double date or something?" Patrice inquired.

"No!" the four of them replied in unison before throwing each other shifty looks.

"O-k. G, we should probably head in for our movie now," Patrice murmured in Gibby's ear.

"Right behind you, Patty," Gibby replied as Patrice began walking ahead.

Gibby remained standing in-between Carly, Brad, Sam and Freddie for a few moments, just looking at the four of them with a pensive expression.

"You four enjoy your evening. I know I certainly will," Gibby greeted with a lecherous grin on his face before departing.

"That was weird," Freddie noted dryly, watching Gibby and Patrice enter their cinema together.

"That's Gibby through and through," Sam added knowingly.

"Well…Brad and I have to get to our movie," Carly offered as words of parting.

"Yeah, we don't wanna be late. See ya later," Brad greeted lamely, his gaze drifting again towards Sam, a tinge of regret reflecting in his eyes.

Then the four of them walked in opposite directions to their separate movies, neither of them looking back.

* * *

After the movie, Freddie and Sam found themselves at a corner booth in 'Chilli My Bowl'. They had ended up seeing 'Mabel's Incandescent Journey Of Love'. Freddie couldn't honestly say that he had enjoyed it. But he figured that Sam would've been bored during a movie like 'Dunes Of Doom', which was his original choice. He thought that picking the former was the safest choice. Little did he know just how wrong he'd turn out to be.

It wasn't even the fact that it was a rom-com that irked Freddie so much, it was the entire premise for the film. The longer he and Sam sat in their seats, the more fault Freddie began to find with the film.

Firstly, he took issue with Mabel. For a film about a young woman trying to find her way in matters of the heart, Freddie honestly couldn't find anything that remarkable about the character. She seemed like every other female that he'd ever met in his life with a complicated love life to boot. The fact that Mabel had long dark brown hair and big brown eyes just like Carly's did very little to endear Freddie to her character. Mabel's taste in guys also left very little to be desired for Freddie too.

Take Lazlo for example. He may not have been the best-looking guy around, but he seemed to really care about Mabel for whatever insane reason. And how does Mabel repay him? She ends up picking a guy like Bruno: a good-looking guy, but with next-to-no manners and zero likeability. And while Mabel bent over backwards trying to please him, Bruno barely blinked in response.

It was somewhere in the middle of the film where Freddie actually began to find the entire premise of the film laughable bordering on ridiculous. And it was here where Freddie began leaning more over Sam's armrest to whisper things in her ear, particularly things he found amusing about the plot or about Mabel's personality. The longer the movie progressed, the more similarities Freddie began seeing between Mabel and Carly. And the more he compared Carly and Mabel, the more he felt compelled to share his various insights with Sam.

"…How is that all girls fall into the same trap when it comes to relationships, Sam? Girls like Carly claim that all they want are guys who like them for who they are. But that's not really true is it? Look at Mabel: she says she wants true love, but all she's really wants is a piece of over-glorified eye-candy on her arm everywhere she goes. And girls still turn around and insinuate that guys are the ones who are really shallow. Maybe we are, but I'd like to think that guys have always been a little more upfront about it, more than girls are anyway. That's why girls like Carly pick guys like Brad, clichéd pretty boys. Because they're safe; you don't have to look beyond skin-deep at what's really going on underneath…"

Sam sat reclining against the red leather sofa, listlessly stirring away at her half-drunken Fat Shake with a straw while Freddie rambled on incessantly about 'Mabel's Incandescent Journey Of Love'. She idly wandered how they had gotten stuck talking about Mabel's resemblance to Carly. Correction, they hadn't gotten stuck on talking relentlessly on Carly, Freddie had for some unknown reason. Sam's half-eaten bowl of cold chilli remained untouched while she zoned out on Freddie's excitable tirade. She had been ravenous by the time the movie had ended; now, her appetite had magically evaporated into the same place where Ms. Briggs' talent for playing the bagpipes went.

But still Freddie persisted with his ridiculous rambling, like a bad case of 'nub tongue' spewing uncontrollably from his lips, all of it centred on Carly. And it was beginning to make her exceedingly angry. But instead of resorting to her usual methods of silencing Freddie with an elbow the gut, a punch to the head or a good old fashioned slap across the cheek, Sam found that she was strangely paralysed in every inch of her tightly wound body. All that could move was her mouth; she had been chewing feverishly on her bottom lip all the while as Freddie spoke. And now she realised that like her fists, her mouth too was a powerful weapon to be wielded, a tool which could deal even the most savage blow with one swipe of her tongue.

"Stop!"

The plea had caused several other patrons to stare in her direction. And then there was Freddie too, staring incredulously back at her, surprise etched onto his handsome face, as if he wondered how she had dared to interrupt his monologue.

"What's wrong, Sam?"

"I can't do this, Freddie."

"You can't do what?"

"This! Listen to you talk about Carly in any and every form all night long and pretend that I care or actually enjoy what you're saying."

"What do you mean? I'm talking about the movie we just saw; I used Carly as an example to illustrate a point." Freddie retorted defensively, becoming faintly annoyed by Sam's sudden accusation.

"Not just one point, lots of points that you've been trying to make all night long, Freddie. Ever since we bumped into Carly and Brad hours ago. I'm not about to sit here and pretend that you've been doing anything else but that."

"Ok. So if I've been making several points instead of just one, then what have they all been about, Sam?"

"Carly. Everything you've ever said today and before this has always been about her, even when you were supposed to be giving me an answer about my feelings for you. It's all about her, isn't it? I used to think that you just brought her into conversation simply because you could. But I've realised something: it's because you have to, now you don't really have a choice in the matter. Your whole world revolves around Carly: how she thinks and feels. It's always going to be about Carly."

Freddie, who'd been in the act of nonchalantly taking another helping of cold chilli, dropped his spoon with a loud clang at Sam's unexpected words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing – where was this even coming from?

"Sam, that's crazy. You make it sound like I'm obsessed with Carly or something. Maybe that was the case when we were younger, because I liked her a lot back then. But that's over now, Sam. Besides, I'm not here with Carly right now, I'm here with you. And that's what I want. Carly's made it pretty clear that she just wants to be friends and I'm gonna respect that. So can we just drop it and talk about something else?" he asked as calmly as possible.

Something was telling Sam in every fibre of her bones that this moment in time would change everything that she knew to be true. She'd never been a big believer in fate or karma, choosing instead to concede that the universe was just one giant mess of discordant chaos in which she played her part admirably and convincingly. And for the first time ever, she was on the verge of willingly sifting through that dark disorder and trying to make sense of it, especially her part in mitigating her own demise.

Sam would've dearly have liked to acquiesce to Freddie's request and just forget that she had even brought up the subject of Carly at all that night. But ever since the previous weekend, everything had been laid bare and exposed for all to see. It was just like Pandora's box; once it had been opened, it was hard to shut the lid again.

"No, Freddie. We can't just talk about something else. I think we both know what's really going on here. I didn't wanna think about it too much because thinking pretty much gets in the way of doing anything. But it's all I can think about – wondering endlessly why…you're here with me." Sam responded tentatively, her fingers drumming absent-mindedly on the surface of the tabletop.

Freddie chuckled mirthlessly and shook his head, his fingers mimicking Sam's while they drummed against the wooden surface of the table.

"What do you want me to say, Sam? That I'm not over Carly? That I'm never gonna be over Carly? Would that make you happy?" he questioned seriously of her.

"All I want you to do is level with me, Freddie. Just like I have since I kissed you last weekend." Sam answered in a low murmur, her eyes not quite meeting his.

She could sense more than see Freddie deflating bit by bit, the dregs of his newly acquired armour ebbing away rapidly. He began sighing loudly and his Adam's apple throbbed like it had a mind of its own, as if steeling himself to do something extremely unpleasant.

"I don't know what's happening, Sam. Before last weekend and the lock-in, everything was fine, everything was normal. At least I thought everything was ok. But then you kissed me and Carly started avoiding me and then you told me about her and Brad. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, like I'm…losing control of myself, of everything I know. I've never felt this way before, like everything's crashing and burning all around me. After Wednesday night, everything changed for you and me, for me and Carly. And I don't know how to take any of it back." Freddie declared in a helpless tone quite unlike his usual self.

Sam knew that she had a multitude of choices before her now. It wasn't too late to back out now and turn the situation around, turn the night around. She could just reassure Freddie and convince him that everything was still ok and normal; she could drive the point home and make him forget about Carly once and for all. But deep down, she knew that she wasn't about to do that, not for all the ham in the world. Because this wasn't just any boy she liked and the girl that he liked. This was Carly they were talking about, her best friend in the whole wide world.

And Freddie?

Freddie was…Freddie.

"Freddie, what happened between you and Carly on Wednesday night after I left?" Sam asked in a would-be-casual voice, but she was bubbling over deep inside with a mesh of curiosity and antipathy.

She could see Freddie visibly squirming in her seat at her question. For a fraction of a second, it almost made her smile at how scared she was making him feel.

"Nothing happened. I confronted her about Brad and she didn't deny it. Then she told me to move on and I stormed out of the iCarly studio. That's when I came to see you." Freddie explained somewhat guiltily, having trouble looking Sam directly in the eye.

Based on Carly and Freddie's overall body language of late, Sam could've surmised this on her own. But the thoughts running through her head did very little to make her feel better, especially with Freddie's next words:

"But…I saw Carly again earlier today when I had to install some new software onto my laptop in the iCarly studio. We were kind of arguing again and I sort of…grabbed her. Then…I guessed we had what you might call this charged moment where neither of us was really saying anything. If Spencer hadn't decided then and there to set fire to yet another goldfish bowl, I honestly don't know what would've happened next. After Spencer put out the fire, I got the heck out of there and got ready to pick you up." Freddie concluded in a hastily morose voice.

Sam may have seen the first part coming, but not this. She wanted so badly to hit something, or just laugh it off. But she couldn't; it was like she was paralysed from the waist up. The only thing she could do was breathe and listen, and neither prospect seemed very empowering. She felt like everyone in 'Chilli My Bowl' was watching her every move, waiting to see if she would crack and start punching Freddie repeatedly.

"Sam, please say something," Freddie urged in a pleading tone.

He wanted to reach out to touch her arm resting atop the table. But Freddie was more than afraid that he might end up with a bloody stump where his hand should be if he tried to comfort Sam right now.

"Sam-"

"Freddie, just shut up and listen for a second."

Freddie closed his mouth like a guppy and waited for Sam to speak. Now that she had Freddie's full attention, Sam was still having a hard deciding on what she wanted to say. What did she really want to happen here? Did she want to pretend that Freddie hadn't just irrevocably ruined the moment and carry on like nothing had happened or been said? Or did she want to ruin the moment herself by owning up to the undeniable facts of this complicated affair?

When Sam had finally figured out what she wanted to say, she placed both hands on top of the table and looked Freddie dead in the eye till he felt like looking away.

"Pam always used to tell me that the Puckett women weren't meant to take centre stage. We always played secondary roles in other people's lives. No matter what, we were always the afterthought, the consolation prize. But the thing is…I don't wanna be your consolation prize, Freddie. Maybe I don't even deserve your consideration after everything I've done to you in the past to hurt and humiliate you. But if you are gonna consider me, then I think I do deserve better than to just be an afterthought to you." Sam declared with a certain power in her voice that she didn't know she possessed.

She was only slightly pleased when Freddie looked completely shamefaced in response to her words. But mostly, Sam just felt hollow on the inside, little more than a ghost sitting in a plastic chair, like she should've left the restaurant a long time ago.

"Sam, I don't even know what to say right now. I'm…so sorry." Freddie finally mumbled after what felt like an eternity of awkward silence.

Sam couldn't do much else save for shrugging in response.

"Meh, what can you do? I figured it was too good to be true when you came to my house the other night. You're not the first guy to like Carly better than me, you probably won't be the last either." She offered with a wry countenance.

"Sam-"

"Save it, Benson. It's done now, let's just forget the whole thing." Sam interjected briskly with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"I can't just do that, Sam. I mean…what about you?" Freddie questioned in an abject voice, his shoulders sagging with the effort.

"Don't worry about me. Mama never stays down for the count." Sam responded in a cavalier tone, folding her arms and leaning against the soft leather of the booth.

While Sam appeared to be kicking back, all Freddie could do was sit in his hard plastic chair and look the part of a wretched boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I can't believe I actually let this stuff with Carly get to me. I'm so stupid," he cursed in frustration while knocking his fist against the table top.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Sam asked in spite of her better judgement.

"There's nothing I can do, she's with Brad now."

"So? Freddie, they've gone on one date so far; it's not like they're taking vows or something. If you still like Carly, you should just tell her."

"Sure, why not? What's that old saying: '100th time's a charm'?" Freddie asked somewhat facetiously, causing Sam to grin momentarily like her old self.

And then the moment was gone, only to be replaced with more uneasy silence between them. Now Sam wished more than ever that she could just disappear.

"Well, this has been a blast, but I'm gonna go." Sam finally concluded.

"But you barely touched your chilli," Freddie pointed out pathetically.

"I don't think I could eat another bite," Sam replied, matching his tone.

Freddie didn't know how true that statement really. The way she felt right now, Sam doubted that she'd ever feel like eating again. And it was all because of one nub; the irony wasn't lost on her for a second.

"You want a ride?" Freddie finally offered after more uncomfortable silence had ensued.

"No thanks, I think I'd rather walk tonight." Sam answered with certainly as she got to her feet.

Having to talk to the nub was bad enough after he had effectively hurt more than just her pride tonight. Sharing a car ride with that same nub would be slow torture on a whole other level. With that thought in mind, Sam turned around abruptly and began walking away.

"Hey, Puckett!"

She craned her neck to stare back at Freddie, her breath catching in her throat for a moment.

"For what it's worth…in spite of everything, I don't think of you as a consolation prize. You're better than an afterthought and you deserve to have somebody tell you that all the time. I'm just sorry that…it's not me."

"Me too, Benson. Me too…"

And then Sam turned on her heels and walked calmly out of 'Chilli My Bowl', leaving Freddie sitting in his chair, watching the back of her with guilty resignation. To the untrained eye, she was walking perfectly upright with her head held high and her hands thrust deep into her pants pockets. But to anyone else who caught sight of the blonde-haired teenage girl walking down the lonely alley outside 'Chill My Bowl', her feelings were all too clear.

Heart in her hands.

Tears running down her cheeks.

* * *

**Author's Note: Wow, this was incredibly hard to write. I love Sam to bits and pieces, this broke my heart a little. Mood music for Sam: "Silence Is Easy" by Starsailor, I thought it was appropriate. I'm sorry if this chapter disappoints some of you out there. But it is what it is, I never promised a happy ending for anyone in this story, only angst. You got what you paid for, just like "Mabel's Incandescent Journey Of Love", which sounds like a terrible movie btw ;D I'm estimating that there will be 3 more chapters after this and then I'll be wrapping things up in this story. Ok, I'm gonna slink away now and let you all leave me some reviews. Thanks for the ****feedback and the love, you guys are too good to me. Cheers!**


	10. A True Friend Stabs You In The Front

**Author's Note: G'day, people of the world! Hope you're all having fantabulous weeks so far :D After having several misadventures of late, I'm somewhat back to my usual pleasant disposition. I've been waiting for weeks to write this chapter and the moment has finally arrived to share it all with you. The title is based on one of my favourite quotes by Oscar Wilde. This extremely long chapter is dedicated to Sam Puckett.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the wise words of Oscar Wilde.**

* * *

"Wow, Lewbert really isn't a people's kind of person," Brad noted somewhat dryly.

"Yeah, Lewbert isn't really…any kind of person." Carly offered, matching his tone.

"Makes sense. With all the grunting and shrieking he does, you could easily mistake him for some kind of wild animal in disguise." Brad joked light-heartedly.

"True. But what wild animal would actually want to pretend to be Lewbert?" Carly questioned in wonder as she and Brad got into the elevator at Bushwell Plaza, laughing amiably together.

Brad had insisted on walking Carly up to her apartment when they had gotten back from the Crown Ridge Mall, which she thought was extremely sweet of him. After their run-in with Freddie, Sam, Gibby and Patrice, Carly and Brad had tried to salvage the rest of their pleasant evening. Unfortunately, the encounter had left a decidedly bad taste in their mouths. So in spite of their better attempts to keep things light-hearted and casual, both Carly and Brad ended up feeling more distracted and pensive during the movie and throughout their light meal of cheese burgers and French fries at the Groovy Smoothie.

After exchanging more small-talk, Carly and Brad finally got out of the elevator and stood outside the front door of the Shay's apartment close to 10pm, their stances awkward and self-conscious.

"So um…thanks for asking me to hang out tonight. I had fun," Carly finally said in a meek tone.

"Yeah, me too. It was kind of a train wreck at the start, but it got back on track towards the end of the night." Brad agreed evenly.

"Yeah," Carly agreed with a small smile on her face.

"That's not true at all, is it?" Brad asked abruptly.

"No," Carly replied in that same tone of voice, a sardonic smile etched on her face.

Brad bowed his head and chuckled slightly while swinging his leg back and forth.

"I'm sorry that things got super uncomfortable between you, me, Sam and Freddie, Carly," he apologised meekly, finally locking eyes with her.

"Don't be sorry, Brad. If anyone should be apologising, it's me." Carly replied soothingly.

"How come?" Brad questioned, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

Carly sighed and ran a hand through her dark brown locks before responding.

"Because…I'm the reason why everyone's been acting so crazy lately. Maybe not the whole world, but…it's definitely the case with Sam and Freddie. You're the only one who hasn't been affected or permanently damaged by my 'weirdness'." Carly explained with air quotes and a silly grin on her lips which didn't meet her eyes.

Brad surprised Carly again by grabbing hold of her wrists in both his hands and then holding her steady. The action reminded her of how Freddie had pulled her close to him hours ago in the iCarly studio. The thought made Carly feel light-headed, especially when she dwelled on how Freddie had leant in closer to her face and almost kissed her right before Spencer had killed another one of their goldfish with an inexplicable fire. It took a second or two before Carly reluctantly forced herself to focus on what Brad was currently saying to her.

"Maybe you could've handled this whole thing a lot better. But the same also applies to Sam and Freddie. You're not entirely responsible for this, ok?" Brad said in a low murmur, a kind smile spreading across his cheeks.

Carly nodded slowly and smiled. Then she did something more unexpected than Brad's actions of a few seconds prior. With their hands still attached, she stood on her tiptoes and laid a chaste kiss on his cheek before pulling back. Brad cleared his throat self-consciously, which made Carly want to giggle.

"Uh…what was that for?" he asked in a small voice.

"Just a 'thank you' for being so sweet to me and for tonight. It was kind of a train smash, but I'm glad you were there to keep me from crashing and burning. You've been a good friend to me lately, Brad. It means a lot," Carly answered sincerely, locking eyes with Brad.

Then she slowly disentangled their hands, irrevocably breaking the connection between them.

"You're welcome, Carly. The feeling's mutual." Brad stated, matching her tone.

Carly smiled again and unlocked the front door before turning to face Brad again, feeling strangely reluctant to say goodnight to him.

"For what it's worth, it was just as hard for me to see Sam tonight as it was for you to see Freddie. Goodnight, Carly."

"Night, Brad."

With a nod and shrug of his shoulders, Brad dug his hands into his pockets and walked off slowly towards the elevators before climbing in and riding back down to Bushwell. After watching him go, Carly shook her head momentarily at the irony of the entire situation and let herself into her home, shutting the front door behind her with a loud click.

"Spencer, I'm home!" she called out in a booming voice.

Spencer came bounding out of his bedroom, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, Converse sneakers and a short-sleeved checkered shirt, paint smudges all over his arms and cheeks, completely out of breath.

"Hey, you're back! How was your 'date'?" he asked with air-quotes.

"For the last time, it wasn't a date, Spencer. Brad and I just went to see a movie, we got a bite to eat afterwards, then he brought me home."

"Sounds like a date to me."

"Was not, he didn't even kiss me goodnight," Carly pointed out, conveniently leaving out the part where she kissed Brad on the cheek.

"You don't have to kiss someone on a date."

"You would know. You only kiss people you don't date."

"Nyeeeagh!"

"Nyeeeagh!"

Both Carly and Spencer dropped their annoyed stances instantly and resorted to wide grins. Then Carly moved into the kitchen and began rummaging around in the cupboards looking for something to snack on.

"Did you at least have a good time, kiddo?" Spencer asked curiously of his sister.

"Uh, yeah. It was certainly an…interesting night." Carly offered with very little conviction, crunching a little too hard on the oatmeal cookie in her hand.

"Just be careful."

The sudden seriousness of Spencer's tone caught Carly completely off guard.

"What do you mean by that, Spencer?"

"Just that…you and Brad have been spending a lot of time together…"

"Spencer, it's not like that between me and Brad. He's just been helping me through some confusing stuff lately, I swear. We're just friends, everything's fine." Carly replied with emphasis.

"You can't blame me for being a little concerned. Things have been kinda weird between you, Sam and Freddie for days now; you were crying earlier right before Brad came to pick you up, then you just pulled yourself together in 5 seconds' flat. I hate to say this, but this just isn't like you, Carls." Spencer responded cryptically.

"Sam kissed Freddie last weekend during the lock-in and then he asked her out on a date tonight…right after I told him to. I've kinda been avoiding dealing with all of it until now." Carly explained with some difficulty, feeling like she had nothing left to lose now.

Spencer was clearly floored by this new information. But he recovered himself quickly and fixed Carly with a penetrating look that made her slightly uncomfortable.

"I can see why you'd be confused by that and why having Brad around makes you feel better. But if you're hanging out with Brad to get back at Freddie or make him jealous just because he's with Sam now-"

"I'm not doing that, Spencer." Carly answered firmly.

Spencer knew all too well that Carly's tone of voice indicated that the conversation was over. He put up his hands in surrender and pursed his lips before continuing.

"Ok, you don't wanna talk about it, I get it. All I'm saying is that you should be careful. Things may be complicated right now, but you don't wanna go make it worse by not dealing with what's really going on here. No matter what happens, Sam and Freddie are still your friends, just try and remember that. You know you can always talk to me about this stuff, right?" Spencer asked as gently as possible.

Carly relaxed her defensive stance and her shoulders slouched, knowing that Spencer was right.

"Of course I do. Thanks," she mumbled meekly.

Spencer nodded in response and a silence ensued between them. This didn't last for very long when they suddenly heard someone knocking persistently on the front door. The Shay siblings caught each other's eyes and frowned in confusion.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Carly asked curiously.

"Nope. Socko's only coming over around 3am," Spencer offered, which Carly had no response for.

Spencer jogged towards the door and stared through the peephole. He frowned even more and moved to unlock the front door. The door opened and revealed Sam standing behind it, her hands pursed together in obvious agitation.

"Sam?" Carly questioned in amazement, moving a few steps forward.

"Hey, guys." Sam greeted with a self-conscious wave of her hand before placing said hand back into her jeans pocket.

"Come on in," Spencer implored and stepped aside.

Sam acquiesced and entered the apartment, looking for all the world like a stranger to her surroundings. Carly couldn't help noticing that she was still dressed in the same clothes she'd worn several hours ago at the Crown Ridge Mall.

"I'm sorry to just drop by unannounced like this-"

"Since when has that ever stopped you before?" Spencer asked with a loud snort.

He quickly dropped his mocking smile when Sam raised an eyebrow at him, a dangerous glint in his eye.

"Sorry," he apologised meekly before bowing his head.

"Anyway. Like I said, I'm sorry I dropped by like this. But I really need to talk to you, Carly. It's important." Sam continued on in a frank voice.

Carly looked over Sam's appearance and tried to read the look on her face. But her best friend wasn't giving anything away with her overall body language.

"Spencer, is it ok if you give me and Sam a private moment?" she asked politely of her older brother.

Spencer, who had been watching the two teenage girls very closely all the while, gave a sudden start at being addressed directly.

"Right! Private moment! I'm gonna go back into my bedroom…which no one is allowed to peek into at any time. If you girls need anything…that's where I'll be."

With the demeanour of a frightened bunny, Spencer literally sped back into his bedroom. Carly didn't have much time to ponder on her brother's peculiar behaviour, her entire being focused on Sam now.

"So…I figured you'd still be with Freddie or at home by now." Carly began by way of introduction when Sam remained standing where she was.

That seemed to rouse Sam enough to move just a little, swinging her arms at her sides.

"Let's just say me and Freddie ended things a little early tonight, in more ways than one. I had every intention of going home; but somehow, I ended up here. I guess it's because I've always treated this place like home." Sam answered with a wistful glance at her surroundings.

"What are you doing here, Sam?" Carly demanded seriously.

She wasn't relieved at all when Sam sighed loudly in response and looked like she was on the verge of puking on the spot. Carly had never seen her best friend in this light before; the sight unnerved her a great deal.

"Carls, I have to tell you something. And once I say it, there's a good chance that you're probably gonna hate me forever."

"Sam, that's crazy. I know things have been weird and uncomfortable between you and me these past few days. But after everything we've been through, I could never hate you." Carly protested sincerely in spite of her feelings of foreboding.

"You might change your mind once you hear what I have to say." Sam replied grimly.

"Sam, you're freakin' me out here."

"Good. Because what I'm about to say is gonna make you freak, big time."

"Sam, just spit it out. What are you trying to tell me?"

"Carls, I have to talk to you about Freddie-"

"I don't think I wanna hear anymore," Carly interjected rapidly, changing her mind instantly, a wave of unease sweeping over her at the sound of his name.

She was already moving towards the stairs leading up to her bedroom when Sam's words stopped her.

"You have to! I have to say this once and just get it off my chest. And you need to hear it too – you can decide afterwards what you wanna do with what I'm about to tell you."

Carly turned around again and came back towards Sam, new courage flooding through her veins. Spencer had told her she needed to face whatever came next. It was now or never.

"Ok. What do you wanna tell me?" she asked meekly of Sam.

"The thing is…I haven't been completely honest with you about this stuff with Freddie. I'm not just talking about everything that's happened this past week, I mean…everything to do with Freddie. I've been lying to you, Freddie, and myself. And it's time that I came clean about…everything." Sam began in a hasty tone, her face now tinged with green.

Sam paused again before daring to look Carly dead in the eye as she spoke.

"When Freddie broke up with you a year ago, he said it was because he was just 'foreign bacon' to you, that you only loved him because he saved your life. But here's the thing: Freddie didn't come up with that analogy all by himself, I told him about it first."

"So…you gave him advice which concerned 'foreign bacon'?" Carly asked in bewilderment.

Sam shook her head vigorously, stubborn tears threatening to fall from her eyes, making her feel all the more wretched.

"No I didn't. Freddie thought I gave him advice. But I wasn't, Carly. I wasn't trying to help him or you. I was trying to sabotage the both of you."

"The truth is…I fed Freddie that chizz about 'foreign bacon' because…I wanted him to break up with you."

* * *

Carly blinked for several seconds while she tried to digest what Sam was trying to tell her.

"You wanted Freddie to break up with me? Because you thought we weren't right for each other?" Carly prodded uncertainly.

Then the truth hit her when the tears began to leak from her best friend's eyes.

"Oh my God," Carly breathed in realisation, the horror stunning her like a bullet straight to the chest.

"Carly-"

"Oh my God! You told Freddie that on purpose because you already liked him back then! Oh my God!" Carly screamed, clutching her face in her hands like she was in pain.

"Carly, listen to me! I wasn't thinking clearly! You and Freddie happened out of the blue and it freaked me out! I didn't know what to think! And then the answer just came to me and I knew what I had to do."

"How could you do that? How could you look both me and Freddie in the eye and do that? I loved him!"

Before Sam could stop her, Carly had advanced on her and began pushing savagely at the shorter girl's shoulders with her two hands, causing Sam to stumble a little.

"I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM!"

The declaration rang through the entire apartment like a police siren. But Spencer didn't come out of his bedroom to check on them, not even once. All Sam could do was stare dumbly at Carly while the latter heaved in deep breaths, her entire body pulsing with unbridled anger.

"He was mine, Sam." She declared in a deathly cool voice.

Sam blinked in disbelief at her best friend. For a brief moment, she forgot what she had wanted to say while she too gave way to anger at Carly's words.

"Yours? Freddie's not your property, Carly. He's not a toy that you can just discard whenever you get bored and find somebody new to play with." Sam retorted indignantly.

Carly shrieked with laughter at this statement.

"Freddie's not a toy? Sam, do you even hear yourself? You've always treated Freddie like a toy that you could just break whenever you felt like it. When did that suddenly change? Was it 5 minutes before you kissed him during the lock-in?" Carly demanded with a callous smile on her face.

"I care about Freddie," Sam mumbled.

"Since when? Since you realised that he'd never like you more than he's liked me for years?" Carly yelled with malevolence.

"You're one to talk, Carly! I didn't see you trying to show Freddie just how much you care about him while you were trying to date Adam months ago. You were perfectly happy just being friends with Freddie until I kissed him last week. Face facts, Carly. You just can't stand the idea of Freddie not spending every waking hour of his life building a shrine to you," Sam spat in a malicious tone, moving dangerously close to Carly.

They were practically nose to nose, staring each other down while Sam jabbed Carly in the chest with her index finger till it began to bruise Carly's skin, the silence deafening in their ears.

Carly wanted so badly to refute Sam's words. But try as she might, there was nothing in her arsenal of resentment that she could level against Sam, nothing that compared to years of wilful indifference on her part where Freddie was concerned. Maybe Sam had tormented Freddie for years, but hadn't she done the same as well? Maybe her assaults didn't show up on skin, but they went far deeper than that and had lingered far longer than Sam's bruises ever could.

"You're right, you got me. I…I didn't know how hard it would be to see Freddie care about someone else like he did with me for all these years, much less if that girl turned out to be you. But that doesn't excuse what you did, not even for a split second," Carly retorted heatedly, the blood in her cheeks stinging like hot water bubbling over.

"Carly-"

"You're my best friend, Sam! I wanted to be with Freddie a year ago," Carly repeated, her voice breaking on the last part as salty tears fell from her eyes too.

"No you didn't, Carly! You just think you did, but you were wrong. And I helped both you and Freddie see that!"

Carly emitted a mirthless laugh that sounded and felt more like an irate scream as it jumped out of her throat, threatening to tear at her insides.

"_You helped me? _You didn't help me! You didn't even do this for me! You did this for yourself because you're…mean and thoughtless!" she stammered, her hands shaking with fury.

"You didn't want him before the taco truck! When he let you go, you just accepted it without question. Think about it! Just take a second and think about it! He chased you and you never wanted him…_until he saved your life._ You wanted to be with Freddie because you felt like you owed him."

"That's not true! You don't know anything about how I felt then or how I feel now! Get out, I want you to leave right now!" Carly fumed angrily while gesturing towards the door.

"No, I'm not leaving until we talk this out!"

"I said get out!"

"No!"

In a blinding flash, Carly shoved Sam backwards, her back hitting the wall behind her with a loud thump.

"I want you to go, Sam." Carly commanded in an icy voice.

Sam knew full well that she could've gotten out of Carly's steely grip on her shoulders and wrestled Carly to the ground like she was a toy. But she wasn't about to let Carly let her go; the idea was too fantastic to entertain.

"I can't, Carly." Sam replied in a pathetic tone.

"Fine, so talk then. Tell me why you did what you did – tell me why you lied."

"Because I didn't know what else to do – I was confused about my feelings when I saw the two of you together. Just like you're confused right now when you saw me and Freddie together tonight for the first time."

Carly finally let go of Sam's shoulders and backed away from her, feeling like she was seconds away from shutting down completely.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to hurt me?" Carly pleaded morosely with Sam, her face shiny and wet with tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Did you know when it first hit me?" Sam asked in a strange tone of voice, her face taking on an entirely different texture of despair now.

"When what first hit you? What are you talking about?" Carly fumed, feeling the last remaining dregs of her sanity slowly ebbing away.

"The first time that I realised I may like Freddie."

Carly's features altered altogether at Sam's words. Sam didn't wait for Carly to respond or start another angry tirade.

"Sure it was different in a way I'd never experienced before when Freddie and I first kissed two years ago. Even when Freddie helped me get rid of Missy, it wasn't enough to completely change my opinion of him. But bit by bit, it started changing deep inside of me without me even knowing. And then it finally hit home one night when I stepped into the Groovy Smoothie and saw you and Freddie together." Sam began in a cautiously weary voice.

"When Freddie and I were together? When was this?" Carly questioned in bewilderment.

"The night of the Sadie Hawkins dance when you went with Austen and Freddie went with Magic Malika. I saw you and Freddie dancing together in the Groovy Smoothie, Carly."

If Carly thought she had been surprised enough during the course of the day, she was clearly mistaken. She goggled unabashedly back at Sam, who wore an unfathomable expression on her face. In the space of more than a year, Sam had never even admitted to being in the same zip code as the Groovy Smoothie that night, much less in the actual restaurant.

"You were there?" was all she could utter in the wake of her conflicting thoughts.

Sam nodded slowly, feeling a distinct weight loosening inside of her and crumbling onto the floor.

"But you went to Gibby's house to try and convince him to come with you to the dance." Carly protested in a final ditch effort to avail herself of knowing more than she really should.

Sam gave Carly a contrite smile, which made the latter feel worse than ever, sensing that there was more behind her best friend's smile.

"I did and he was on a date with Tasha at his house (that's when I first met Tasha). So I figured I'd come find you, thinking we could hang out or something. I swung by here and you weren't back yet, so I thought you might be at the Groovy Smoothie with Austin. I got there around closing time and walked in and I…"

Sam stopped short and caught her breath, an unusual lump forming in her throat. She hadn't allowed herself the luxury of thinking about that night for such a long time. And now that she was finally giving herself a chance to revisit that night, she somehow found herself to be inadequate to the task. She gathered what little resolve she still had and went on with her story.

"I…saw you and Freddie dancing together." She finished slowly, her mind's eye taking her somewhere she didn't want to go…

_Sam walked along the side-walk, the ringlets of her voluminous blonde hair catching in the wind and blowing across her cheeks. She shook her head and laughed humourlessly, thinking about Gibby again. After seeing his new girlfriend, Tasha, she wasn't shocked anymore about him wanting to skip Sadie Hawkins and spend time with her alone at his house instead. Tasha was ridiculously hot, even a blind guy would agree. _

_But at the same time, it made Sam reflect even more on her own looks. She wasn't hideous, that much she knew. But she'd never felt like she was beautiful, naturally graceful or as comfortable in her femininity as Carly. Then again, she'd never really tried to embrace it before until she started liking Pete. And Carly had helped make her girly until she realised that she'd never needed it to begin with where Pete was concerned. But then Pete had moved away and the whole thing had become a moot point. And here she was in a fancy dress and high heels, roaming the streets of Kennedy Square alone. At least her brown leather jacket fit her snugly and kept her warm. Plus, it looked good on her. _

_Sam saw the dim and cosy lights of the Groovy Smoothie ahead and smiled to herself. Through thick and thin, this had always been her favourite spot in the whole wide world, besides Chilli My Bowl. Some of her fondest memories had been in this place; most of these memories came accompanied by Carly and occasionally Freddie as well. She hoped Carly would be here, even if she was still hanging out with that nub Austin, who didn't know the meaning of shutting up. At least she'd still get to see her best friend. All she wanted to do was forget that this stupid night ever happened. But it wasn't meant to be as Sam walked through the glass doors of the Groovy Smoothie, her high heels making no sound against the hard wood floors. _

_It was a night she was destined never to forget. _

_And all she could do was stare at the scene unfolding before her eyes. Carly and Freddie were dancing together. But not in the awkward way that teenagers often did: holding hands and keeping a cautious distance between their bodies while swaying on the spot in an uncoordinated manner. _

_No, it was quite the opposite. Freddie was holding Carly right against his chest, his arms interwoven around her back like a vine. And Carly in turn was resting her head on his shoulder, a resplendent smile playing on the side of her face which Sam could see. Sam had never seen them like this before: so perfectly serene and at ease in each other's company. _

_Without her. _

_Sam felt like she was watching a scene out of one of those classic Hollywood films where the hero and heroine are engaged in a romantic moment that you felt like you were intruding upon just by merely watching. But her feet wouldn't move for a few seconds, even though it felt like hours had passed by. The sight mesmerised her in the most obscene way, like staring at the grotesque and mangled victims of a car accident. She couldn't tear her eyes away, even though her brain was screaming at her to run. _

_She'd never seen something more perfect in her entire life than in this moment. _

_And it hurt. _

_But she didn't know why. _

_The faint recesses of her brain told her it was because she had been constantly betting against the odds of this moment ever happening for years: that moment when Carly would actually reciprocate Freddie's feelings. She had scorned it, openly mocked the idea that Freddie actually had a chance with Carly. And as it turned out, she had been wrong all along. Even T-Bo knew it too now, his eyes glued to Freddie and Carly while they danced, a goofy grin on his face all the while. _

_Then she felt an ironic shrug forming on her lips and shoulders when she realised that her feelings didn't really matter at the end of it all. She had intruded for long enough on Carly and Freddie's private moment; it was time to make a hushed exit before they saw her. She intuitively knew that they wouldn't want her to know; she was after all, a connoisseur of keeping secrets that nobody cared or dared to know about the real her. And then Sam's feet guided her towards the doors, pushing them open noiselessly. She looked once more to make sure that it hadn't been a dream. When she was reassured it was indeed reality, she let the door swing behind her, not caring if Carly, Freddie or T-Bo for that matter heard her leave. And then she was back on the pavement, weaving her way through more groups of couples, happy in each other's company, the sight mercilessly stinging her dry eyes. _

_It was only when she finally got home that she began crying unabashedly, feeling the tears being wrung out of her like dirty water out of a wet dish cloth, stretching her and squeezing at her insides. _

_But still, she didn't know why… _

Carly didn't know when she had begun crying, only that she had released Sam from her hold somewhere in the middle of her best friend's narrative. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. All she knew for certain was that she was falling and there was no one or nothing down below to break her fall.

"You were horrible to Freddie for days after the Sadie Hawkins dance; insulting him, beaming him in the head with things. I thought you were worse than usual." She admitted in a wry voice as the pieces began to fall into place.

"I guess I was. I just desperately wanted things to go back to normal inside my head, but it wouldn't. It didn't help that Freddie was being really nice to me right after the dance; that just made me more frustrated and mad." Sam confessed.

And then Carly was abruptly angry again.

"Why are you telling me all of this, Sam? Why now? How could you keep this from me?" she exploded.

"I never had a real reason to bring it up until now. No sense in knocking over the taco truck again if ya catch ma drift. You have no idea how much I wanted this to go away, my feelings. I thought by beating up Freddie, I could somehow beat it out of my system. But every time I hit or insulted him, it backfired on me every time. And it hurts, Carls."

"That's not fair, Sam. You can't expect me to stand here and listen to what you're saying and actually believe that you really mean it. How can you expect that of Freddie after everything you've done to him for years?"

"I don't, not anymore. I told him to forget the whole thing tonight, forget that I kissed him." Sam replied calmly.

Carly's anger vanished at this pronouncement, only to be replaced with stunned confusion.

"You ditched Freddie?"

"I had to have been with Freddie to begin with to break up with him, Carls. Tonight was our first date and it didn't go well. All he could do all night long was talk about that chizz 'Mabel' movie we watched and how much Mabel reminded him of you and your bad taste in guys that aren't him. Mama can't miss what she never had." Sam remarked nonchalantly.

"But you were dressed so nicely and girly, this is a big deal. I realised that the second I laid eyes on you at the Crown Ridge Mall. I thought you two were…more." Carly protested somewhat lamely on the last part.

"I thought so too when he came to see me on Wednesday at my house and kissed me."

Carly's emotions were going haywire at this point and time till she felt like her head might actually explode from everything Sam was telling her.

"He kissed you?" Carly demanded, her mind reeling at the thought.

"Only because he found out about your date with Brad tonight," Sam elaborated.

"I wasn't on a date with Brad! Yeah, he asked me to watch a movie with him tonight. But just as friends! Then Freddie stormed into the iCarly studio and just accused me out of nowhere. He didn't even give me a chance to explain! Who eavesdrops on a private conversation and turns it into a huge misunderstanding?" Carly questioned indignantly.

"Oh chizz," Sam murmured in mortification.

"What?" Carly asked distractedly.

"Freddie didn't eavesdrop on yours and Brad's conversation, I did. I didn't tell him you were dating Brad on purpose, I swear. Freddie confronted you based on what I thought was true. I'm the one who misunderstood, I'm so sorry, Carls." Sam apologised emphatically, looking close to tears.

Carly sighed heavily and ran her hands through her hair. Then she moved sluggishly towards the kitchen counter and rested her back against the marble top, feeling distinctly worn out. Sam joined her a few seconds later and mimicked her stance, both of them staring straight ahead, their eyes opaque and fathomless.

"I think I'm suffering from information overload," Carly muttered after a few seconds of silence while rubbing her forehead with her hand.

"Welcome to my world. I've never had to think this much in my entire life till now. At least I finally got what I came for," Sam returned in a pensive voice.

"What exactly was that?" Carly asked curiously, craning her neck to stare at her blonde-headed friend.

"I know how you feel about Freddie. You really do love him; I guess it worked after all," Sam remarked in a tired voice.

Carly blinked several times while she pondered on the sudden gravity behind Sam's words. And then she rounded on Sam, shock coursing through her bones like white fire.

"W-w-wh-what? You mean y-y-you made all of that stuff up?" Carly fumed indignantly, pointing an accusing finger at Sam's chest.

"Nope, that was all true. But I wasn't sure if telling you everything would be the right thing to do. Now I know for sure." Sam replied with a small smile.

"But I can't still feel that way about Freddie. It's been over for a year – I…I tried to date other guys." Carly stammered in confusion, feeling a distinct migraine coming on from the night's events.

"Maybe you just had a hard time admitting it to yourself how you really feel after all this time. Kinda like me." Sam offered.

Carly turned to face her best friend with a sorrowful expression on her face.

"How do you really feel, Sam? Are you in love with him?" she prodded seriously.

Carly could've easily taken Sam's silence as acquiescence to her question and probably welcomed it. But still she waited for an answer that would most likely change everything between the two of them.

"Yeah…I guess I am, Carls. I just feel differently about him, more than I've ever felt about anyone I've ever liked before – Jonah, Shane…Pete. You want the truth? Well, there it is." Sam responded nonchalantly on the last part as if to dismiss the entire thing.

"Sam-"

"Carls, don't. It's done now, don't worry about it. It's fine."

"No, it's not! This is all my fault! I screwed everything up for you and I'm so sorry. Look, I'll talk to Freddie for you and make this right-"

"Stop! I don't want you to do that, Carls! You can't make this right, not for me anyway. But you can make things right with Freddie. He still loves you after everything that's happened lately, whether he likes it or not. And I think you love him too, for real this time. So please do me a favour and just quit fighting it or denying how you really feel!"

"How am I supposed to make things right with Freddie? He can't stand being in the same room with me for longer than 2 minutes." Carly declared in a dejected voice.

"Well, for starters, you can tell him that you're not dating Brad and that you never were. That will go a long way towards smoothing things over with the nub." Sam teased somewhat, causing Carly to chuckle lightly.

"What about you?

"I'll be fine."

"That's what I thought after I saw you kiss Freddie during the lock-in. But I think we both know that's not true now."

"Maybe I'm not fine; heck, we're probably all screwed up after eating our fries with a bottle of crazy-sauce lately. But I will be ok, I promise. So will you and Freddie."

"I can't do that to you, Sam. You're my best friend in the whole wide world. No guy is more important than that, not even Freddie. I can't go after him right in front of you. That would be wrong on so many levels."

"No, it isn't. You had him first, remember? Maybe if I'd been nicer to him years ago, things might be different now and maybe Freddie would've given me a real chance and not just because he couldn't have you. I guess we'll never know now." Sam answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

Sam grew alarmed when Carly's shoulders began convulsing and more tears ran down her best friend's cheeks.

"Hey," she said in a soothing tone, rubbing Carly's shoulder gently as the brunette started hiccoughing violently.

"I'm sorry, my emotions are just all over the place right now. I don't know what to do with all of this." Carly admitted through shaky breaths, covering her face with a hand to hide the remaining tears, feeling positively ashamed of her lack of control.

"I know you're confused, I've been pretty confused lately too. But we're halfway there now, the rest is up to you, Carls." Sam remonstrated patiently.

"How can you be so calm about this, Sam? I screwed up everything and now you get…nothing." Carly sobbed from behind her hand, her voice sounding more nasally than usual.

Sam sighed and bit that persistent lump growing and expanding in her throat. She had fought against this feeling all night long, willing herself not to cry in front of Carly, even when her whole body was aching with the effort.

"I don't have nothing now. I still have you, Carls. That's all I want; that's more than enough for me." She finally choked out.

Before she could even blink, Carly had pulled her hand away from her face. Instead, she used that same hand and grabbed Sam, pulling her into a tight embrace, her hand cradling Sam's head while she hugged her. And for close to a minute, Sam finally let herself cry while she dwelled on everything that had transpired all week long between her, Carly and Freddie.

But then she began withdrawing back into that part of her chest that didn't allow for any emotion, just like her mother had taught her from a young age. As long as you let someone in that part of your heart, that gave them the power to break it. Sam Puckett may be a fixer-upper, but she was far from broken. She would use that small part of her chest to heal up the rest of her aching, tattered heart. Her hands pried away gently at Carly's arms and she disentangled herself slowly, albeit reluctantly from her best friend.

"I have to go now."

For the first time all night, Carly actually dreaded the thought of Sam leaving her. And it made her cling to her best friend all the more.

"You don't have to go, Sam. You could…stay." Carly tried, gesturing towards the sofa, Sam's favourite spot in the entire apartment.

Nothing would've made Sam happier than to just flop right onto the yellow sofa she called home, close her eyes and drift off to sleep. But she couldn't do it, not yet. As much as she wanted things to go back to normal with her, Carly and Freddie, she wasn't ready. She needed tonight just to think or just to be without anyone pushing against her impenetrable walls. Even though she couldn't vocalise it, what Sam needed most was a little time.

"Not tonight, Carls." She replied simply and assuredly.

Carly had always admired that force of unadorned gravity behind Sam's words when she was in earnest. And she understood all too well now that her friend needed some space, even if she didn't want her to leave.

"Ok." Carly answered in a small voice, bowing her head slightly.

Sam nodded and moved away slowly from the kitchen counter.

"I never told you that you looked beautiful tonight," Carly piped up unexpectedly, which surprised Sam.

She didn't know what else to do but give Carly her signature smirk in response.

"Thanks," she murmured in return.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" Carly asked hesitantly, as if she and Sam were complete strangers now.

It took Sam several heartbeats to finally answer.

"Sure."

Then they both mirrored each other, raising their hands tentatively and waving at each other in parting. Then with another nod of her head, Sam opened up the front door and left, closing it behind her with a little more vigour. She rested her back against the Shay's front door momentarily and closed her eyes, feeling like she could fall asleep against the cool wooden surface at any second.

Pam had always told her that she was 'born to wander'. Sam had often thought Pam meant she was a deep thinker. But now she knew that it meant she was supposed to go places. Whether she intended to move with people she loved or wander alone was anyone's guess. Sam certainly wasn't going to think about it for too long. So she chose the latter and started walking, not bothering to spare a second glance at apartment 8-H on her immediate right as she crossed the lonely hallway.

Carly's hand was still raised halfway in parting, her eyes glued to the front door which Sam had walked through seconds ago. With a colossal effort, she brought her hand towards her face and began wiping away the tears that had fallen. Spencer found her in this stance several seconds later, walking cautiously towards her with muted footsteps.

"Are you ok?" Spencer asked timidly, having heard some of his sister's angry outburst, finally daring to come inspect the damage of hers and Sam's argument.

Carly turned to face Spencer, all remnants of despair gone from her face.

"No, but I will be as soon as I talk to Freddie and straighten out this mess that I've made." she declared with a determined air.

* * *

**Author's Note: So...what did y'all think? Is it wrong that I'm totally lapping up all this misery in this story? Maybe my mind has finally unhinged, not really sure :P Somehow I feel like I won't be able to top this kind of intensity with the next chapter, I'll certainly do my best. Thank you so much to everyone who's been keeping me smiling with reviews, favourites and story alerts for this story. All of your feedback has kept me up at night, but in a good way forrealz :D Well, that's it for me for now. We're looking at 2-3 more chapters left of this shin-dig before the final penny drops. Hope you all rest, recuperate and reblog this weekend, cheers!**


	11. The Rain Washes It All Away

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week. Mine's been ok, just very tiring. I finished my part-time job today and got lined up for another one starting this coming week - Mama's a Working Girl now ;D I'm stoked to be releasing this new chapter to you guys this weeks. A big thank you to PerennialKillJoy for looking over it and giving me invaluable input. Another big thank you to MusicManiac12323 as well for inspiring a quote down below, hope she spots it :P I'm releasing this early because my Internet's acting up because of the rainstorm we had last night - gotta love winter ;D Now onto the chapter, I can barely contain myself :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, its characters or the genre of angst. Very disappointing :/**

* * *

Freddie didn't even hear the rain pouring down outside. He had slept right through the entire debacle, missed out completely on the showers splashing away at the windowpanes with biting incredulity. If he had heard it, he would've been able to make out the coarse thrumming within the droplets, which sounded like Sam's mumbles. And every now and then, a sharp hiss of rain clamoured against the walls, which would've reminded him of Carly. But still, Freddie slept on, the rain taking on the very pattern of his tumbling thoughts, crashing and splattering like angry bees against the thick glass.

Ironically, it was the gentle pitter-patter of unobtrusive drizzle that woke Freddie up around 6am on Sunday morning. It took a few moments before his sense of equilibrium had been restored and his fluttering heart rate had died down. Then he remembered why his heart felt so heavy in the first place.

And it had everything to do with Sam.

Her face had plagued his dreams all night long, her blonde hair the colour of the scorching sun, blinding him into dulled remorse.

Freddie hadn't ever thought of the impossibility of anyone getting past Sam's numerous defences and impenetrable walls, much less him. Who would've guessed that the surest way to bring Sam Puckett down to her knees was to hit her straight in the heart?

Freddie had never felt more ashamed in his life.

Of all the times he'd dreamt of getting his petty revenge on Sam, none of it compared to this low blow. And that's when he realised that he'd never wanted to hurt Sam or toy with her emotions. But he couldn't take it back now, she wouldn't let him. He knew all too well that even if things went back to normal by some wondrous miracle, Sam would never let her guard down in the near future or at all and it was his fault.

Freddie pressed his hands against his eyes till he felt like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. Sam of all people had seen right through him all along. He'd been trying so hard to fool everyone including himself. Had he really thought he could get away with it? He'd become the kind of guy that he accused Carly of dating constantly, the guy he despised. And that was someone who was selfish, thoughtless and above all, uncaring.

Sam had never been afraid to tell Freddie exactly what she thought of him and last night had been no different. But instead of malice or biting sarcasm, she had opted for the truth for a change. Ironically, Sam's unexpected honesty had stung far more than any insult or blow she could've unleashed on Freddie.

There was no point moping around in his bedroom all day, although the idea was tempting. Even in past years when he'd liked Carly and not had his feelings reciprocated, Freddie had never allowed himself to get down about it. He'd always found a way to pick himself back up again and this time would be no different. Freddie knew that he'd deal with this mess he'd made eventually, but today was not one of those days.

He glanced outside his bedroom window at the rain coursing down onto the streets. There were a couple of kids playing a game of baseball in the alley, looking like they didn't have a worry in the world. No matter what happened in life, the world was repeatedly changing and evolving, like a giant computer ready for its next big upgrade.

The whole world was constantly updating, waiting for no one to press the 'restart' button.

Freddie looked outside the window again and caught sight of the kids in the alley. He made up his mind in an instant. He was going to take a walk in the rain and do some much needed thinking. His mom would probably freak, but he had ways of getting around that. Ever since Freddie had moved out and gotten his own apartment in Bushwell Plaza, Mrs. Benson had tried not to be as overbearing with a few relapses in-between which accompanied her best intentions.

With that thought in mind, Freddie got out from underneath the covers and began making up his bed meticulously. Then he went and took a long shower and started getting ready.

* * *

Carly too was up early; she hadn't slept well at all. She'd spent most of the night tossing and turning in her bed, thoughts of Sam and Freddie plaguing her mind relentlessly. All she could think about was Sam's memory of that night when she walked in on her and Freddie dancing in the Groovy Smoothie after the 'Girls' Choice' dance at Ridgeway.

They were best friends, past and present tense.

How could she not have known that Sam saw them? How could she not have known about Sam's feelings this whole time? What kind of friend was she? Not just to Sam, but to Freddie as well. He hadn't asked for any of this, and yet, she'd still found a way to make him the scapegoat for her own confusion and inner turmoil. And to make it worse, she'd somehow made Freddie think that she and Brad were dating in some hapless bid to make him jealous just because Sam liked him.

Carly groaned audibly and pressed her palms against her eyes till she saw orange spots behind her lids.

"What a mess. Nice going, Carly…" she murmured wearily and sighed heavily.

But it was done now. No point crying over spilt milk and letting it stick to the floor without bothering to clean it up; her mom has always told her that. Carly had no idea how she was going to attempt to fix this mess, but she had to try somehow. She owed it to Sam after her startling honesty the night before. But more importantly, she owed it to herself.

Carly got out of bed and took a chair into the bathroom with her. An extra-long shower helped her feel less exhausted and more resolved. It was as if the hot water had seeped right into her skin and washed away all the rotting parts deep within that had caused all of her resentment and deception the past few days. Feeling like that on any level made her feel unfamiliar and dirty.

She shook off the thought like dust clinging to her clothes. There was no point dwelling on things that couldn't be changed now. It was still early – she had a feeling that it was going to be a long day.

Carly skipped down the stairs and found Spencer already in the kitchen, inserting two Cherry Poptarts into the toaster.

"Morning, Spencer." Carly greeted while muffling a yawn with the back of her hand.

"Hey, kiddo." Spencer greeted warmly, watching Carly furtively while she took a seat at the kitchen counter.

He tried to remove the Pop tarts from the toaster and muttered a few curse words under his breath while blowing on his fingers from their scorching heat.

"You sleep ok?" he inquired a few seconds later.

"Kinda, could've been better," Carly offered in a non-committal tone, murmuring her thanks a second later when Spencer handed her a Pop Tart.

Spencer leant against the back of the kitchen counter and gazed around the apartment.

"Sam really didn't sleep over last night?" he asked pensively.

"No. I guess she just wanted some time alone," Carly answered, matching his tone.

A lump rose up in her throat while she stared forlornly at her surroundings. The apartment was far too quiet and sparse without Sam here. She fervently hoped that this wouldn't become a recurrence: Sam's absence and the way it made her feel.

"Are you guys ok?" Spencer questioned seriously of Carly while she chewed distractedly on a piece of her Pop Tart.

"I'm not sure. I hope we will be though," Carly admitted truthfully, turning her head to look her older brother in the eye.

Spencer gave her a small smile and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Whatever happens, I know that the two of you can work it out, no matter how impossible it seems right now. Years of friendship isn't worth throwing away, not for anything." He answered, placing his hand back on Carly's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Carly smiled a little at this and briefly clasped Spencer's hand resting on her shoulder without looking at him. Then the moment was over and Spencer cleared his throat loudly and self-consciously. Carly felt a vibrating sensation against her thigh; her cellphone was buzzing in her jeans pocket. She retrieved it and saw that she had a text message. She read through the message and grinned sincerely for the first time all morning. She bit on her bottom lip and sent a reply back before pocketing her cellphone once more.

"What's that smile for?" Spencer asked with a teasing smirk of his own, watching his sister's face carefully.

"Just got a text from Brad. I'm gonna head out for a bit." Carly announced, hopping off the bar stool and leaving her Pop Tart half-eaten on the plate.

"You going to see Brad?" Spencer inquired in confusion, wondering why Carly seemed so jittery as she came back down the stairs with her favourite denim jacket on.

"Nope, I just gave him a little piece of advice," Carly answered gaily with an odd twinkle in her eye as she swept past Spencer still standing in front of the kitchen island.

"So where are you going then this early in the morning?" Spencer asked in a curious voice with a furrowed eyebrow.

Carly stopped grinning momentarily at the joke Brad had sent her via text message and faced Spencer once more. This time, her face accurately depicted her more sober train of thought.

"I'm going next door to Freddie's apartment. I need to talk to him," she explained meekly.

"So…you're gonna actually talk to him? Not dodge the serious issues at hand or lie about dating Brad?"

"I told you last night, that was a mistake, Spencer. God, I wish I'd never said it in the first place!" Carly lamented with a dramatic wail while palming her forehead.

Spencer frowned in confusion when Carly managed to control her conflicting emotions a few seconds later.

"It's done now and there's nothing more I can do about it. But I can try to make things right with Freddie. I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him after everything that's happened lately," Carly groaned in frustration.

"Just speak from the heart, Carls. The rest will follow." Spencer proposed with a nonchalant air.

"Right, I'll try that. Thanks, Spencer!" Carly yelled as she sprinted towards the door.

"Take an umbrella!" Spencer shouted after her, but Carly was already out the door.

Then he glanced around the living room in dismay when he realised that he was all by himself.

"Great, now I have no one to talk to, not even Spuncer. Stupid cruddy Sunday mornings," he grumbled under his breath and stalked dejectedly into his bedroom.

* * *

Unbeknown to Carly while she spoke to Spencer, Freddie was already on his way out. He exited his bedroom and shrugged into his favourite black windbreaker as he strolled into the living room of his apartment. Marissa sat at the kitchen table reading through the newspaper, a mug of steaming black coffee resting near her hand. She looked up at the sound of footsteps and saw her son coming towards her.

"You're up early," she noted softly.

"Couldn't sleep anymore, figured I might as well get dressed. I'm surprised you're still here." Freddie commented with a gesture towards his mom's casual attire.

"My shift only starts at 2pm."

Marissa paused briefly before phrasing her next statement as nonchalantly as possible.

"I didn't even hear you come in last night. How was your date with Sam?" she asked somewhat reprovingly on the last part.

"Not so great. She went home early." Freddie responded tersely.

Marissa finally raised her eyes from the newspaper and looked at Freddie.

"Is everything alright?" she asked in a more sincere voice than before.

"I hope so. I'm going out for a bit." Freddie announced abruptly, trying to mask his inherently morose state.

"In this weather? Freddie, it's raining outside," Marissa stated in alarm.

"It's just a little drizzle, Mom. Relax, I'll be fine. I won't be gone long." Freddie replied dismissively while walking towards the front door.

"If you insist on going out in this weather, at least wear your raincoat with the whistle on it to ward off serial killers or worse, hobos!"

"Bye, Mom!" Freddie called out loudly in parting, being sure to shut the door before Marissa could follow him.

He had already walked around the corner of the hallway when Carly opened up her front door and strolled the short distance towards the Benson apartment…

* * *

All the way across town, Sam too was up early. She was located on the porch outside her front door by herself. She sat with her knees raised loosely against her chest, beaming the adjacent railing with pebbles from a slingshot in her hand. The rain flowing over the entire city had graduated into a steady downpour of drizzle, which was now a hazy orange glow due to the morning sun peeping through the thick billowy clouds.

Sam hardly seemed to notice as she continued beaming the railing with rocks. The sound of the rain was oddly soothing to her, dulling her senses and stopping her from thinking about anything, especially what had transpired last night between her and Freddie and between her and Carly. If she never had to think about any of it ever again, it would be far too soon. She didn't begrudge either one of her friends for any of it, but that didn't mean that she was eager to see either one of them just yet. Usually, it drove her crazy to spend so much time by herself when she could easily just swing by Carly's and watch 'Girl Cow' with her best friend on her favourite sofa. Today, it felt strangely peaceful to welcome the solitude.

But it wasn't meant to be when she heard someone calling out to her. Sam looked up from her menial destruction of the metallic rail and frowned in annoyance. She couldn't see who was standing in the middle of the driveway, only that he or she was tall and shrouded in a silvery blur from the rain overhead. She finally began to make out who it was it was the longer he walked in the pouring rain towards her; she couldn't for the life of him make out why he was here though.

"Brad?" she asked dumbly, scrunching up her eyes to see him more clearly.

It was definitely Brad, and he was clearly soaked to the bone. Not that Sam cared a great deal, but she did wonder why he hadn't thought to bring an umbrella or put on a raincoat. He seemed like the type to worry about something as stupid as that. Brad now stood on the porch in wet jeans, soaked green and black flannel shirt, squelching black sneakers, brown hair wet and flat against his cheek that it looked black in this light, shivering uncontrollably from head to toe.

"Hey," he greeted self-consciously with a quick wave of his hand.

"Hey." Sam greeted back, although in less friendly terms than she expected.

A curious lump formed in Brad's throat when he looked at Sam. To the untrained eye, she looked like she didn't have a care in the world. But to someone really taking the time to look, they'd see that Sam was trying really hard not to let her true feelings show, or any emotion for that matter. That was always a tell-tale sign when someone had a secret they didn't want anyone else to know, not even themselves.

"You here by yourself?" Brad asked curiously while gazing at their sombre surroundings.

"Nuh, my Mom's at home."

"Asleep?"

"Passed out on the couch."

Brad didn't know how to respond to that, so he just dug his hands back into his sopping wet jeans pockets.

"Whatchu doin' here, Brad?" Sam asked in a casual tone of voice which belied her inherent suspicion at his sudden appearance at her house.

Brad swung his arms awkwardly at his sides as he came to stand in front of Sam on the porch.

"Carly told me about what happened last night. I came to see how you were doing." He answered, opting for the truth.

Sam scrunched up her eyebrows at this while remaining sitting in the same position.

"Carly told you about our fight?" she questioned in bewilderment.

She began glaring pointedly back at Brad when a nervous smile appeared on his face.

"_She told you about Freddie?" _

Sam was on her feet with her fists balled like two thick and heavy hams, her teeth clenched in an unmistakably menacing growl. Brad backed away from her hurriedly with his hands upwards to protect his face, trying to keep his balance so he didn't fall down the stairs back onto the wet pathway.

"Please don't be mad, Sam! Carly wasn't gossiping about you and Freddie, it's not like that. The truth is…I've known about you and Freddie for days now. Carly told me about it at school on Monday, before iCarly on Wednesday night." Brad explained rapidly, hoping desperately that he hadn't just ruined everything between the iCarly trio.

Brad kept his hands up in front of his face for a solid 10 seconds, only daring to look between his bunched up fingers to make sure that Sam wasn't coming at him. And to think he'd thought Freddie had been kidding about Sam's temper. He heaved a deep sigh of relief when Sam relaxed her stance, her hands hanging limply at her sides while she regarded Brad with a fathomless expression.

"You mean…Carly told you about me kissing Freddie on Saturday night?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Feeling emboldened, Brad took his hands away from his face and kept them in front of him in surrender. He nodded in response to Sam's question.

Sam sank back down onto her posterior and hugged her legs close to her chest. Brad took that as a sign that she wasn't going to punch him, so he sat down tentatively next to her on the porch floor. Sam didn't react at all, but pointedly ignored looking at Brad, wishing she could just disappear into the ground.

"She was pretty upset after she saw you kiss Freddie. I guess she just needed someone to talk to," Brad offered after a few seconds of silence.

Sam didn't answer for a while as she pondered on this. She couldn't believe that Carly had told Brad about what happened with Freddie, she'd never be able to live this down. All she wanted to do was forget that it had ever happened. But oddly enough, she wasn't that irritated by Brad's presence at her house. He had a soothing effect on her erratic mood. She finally dared to look at Brad, expecting to see judgement in his eyes and being surprised when she found absolutely none. All she encountered was his warm brown eyes and a small smile on his face, which made her feel a little better about everything.

"So…you and Carly talked about it…a lot?" Sam asked hesitantly.

Brad chuckled slightly before answering.

"Not really. I tried not to bring it up too much because Carly wasn't ready to talk about it just yet. So we talked about other stuff when we hung out together." Brad replied earnestly.

Sam smiled a little at this, albeit it somewhat ruefully while thinking about Carly and Brad's date. Carly may not have seen it as a date, but Brad must've thought otherwise. She felt peculiarly sympathetic for his plight.

"That was really nice of you, Brad. It must've been big-time chizz just trying to hang out with Carly knowing that she likes Freddie too." She stated in a knowing voice.

It took Brad a couple of seconds to figure out what Sam meant.

"Nah, it was cool hanging out with Carly. She's a great girl. Figuring out that you liked Freddie a lot, especially when I saw how pretty you looked on Saturday night – well, that was the worst part for me." Brad responded uncomfortably.

He hadn't meant to say it, that hadn't been his intention when he had decided to come see Sam. But now that it was out there, he didn't want to take it back. Brad wasn't expecting anything of Sam; he knew that she wasn't going to forget about her crush on Freddie in a day, especially when she knew that Freddie still liked Carly after all of this time. He just wanted to be here for her if she needed someone to talk to, to let her know that someone understood what she was going through.

Sam on the other hand, couldn't believe what she was hearing. _Brad liked her? _She thought that Carly and Freddie had gotten it completely wrong with the MoodApp. But she wasn't as shocked as she should've been in the moment. If anything, she was weirdly flattered that someone as cool and non-nubby a tech-nerd as Brad had a crush on her.

"Sam, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that-"

"Brad, it's cool. You don't have to explain, I get it. I'm ok with it," Sam interjected sincerely.

"Really?" Brad questioned in amazement.

"Yeah, sure. It's not…chizz." Sam offered blankly, not knowing what else to say about the matter.

She'd had enough of chizz boy drama to last a lifetime.

"Thanks. I'm…glad I'm not chizz to you." Brad joked feebly.

As lame a joke as it was, Sam began laughing quite exuberantly at Brad's attempts to make her feel better after all. Brad began relaxing and joined in her laughter as they sat together. When Sam was finally calm enough to speak, she noticed an object resting against the wooden rail that she hadn't noticed before.

"What's in the backpack?" she asked curiously.

"Oh…that. You'll probably just laugh. There's some fudge in there."

"Why would I laugh about that? Mama never jokes about food."

"I…I brought you some fudge."

Sam's jocular grin vanished when she accurately read the meaning behind Brad's words.

"You came all the way to my house in the middle of this jank rainstorm to bring me a couple pieces of fudge? Aren't they wet by now?" Sam questioned with evident disappointment in her voice while gazing dejectedly at Brad's rain sodden backpack.

"Not just a couple, a whole bunch of fudge just for you. And I packed it in a lunch box so it wouldn't get wet." Brad replied meekly with a small smile on his face.

"Well don't just stand there talking about it. Go get it out so we can eat it," Sam suggested excitedly.

Brad laughed in turn and rummaged through his backpack, producing the lunchbox from his backpack. He opened up the plastic lid and extended the lunchbox towards Sam, who took it from him. She began devouring her first piece of chocolate fudge before moving onto the next in rapid succession.

"Slow down, they're not gonna disappear. You don't wanna give yourself indigestion from eating too fast," Brad suggested lightly, fighting down laughter at Sam unabashedly chomping away on the delicious treats.

"Mama eats too fast to get indigestion, not in 'slowdy motion' like other nubs. Besides, I did say _we_ were gonna eat it, didn't I?" Sam asked with a sly smirk on her face.

Brad grinned broadly when Sam handed him back the lunch box so that he could take a piece of fudge for himself. He tipped his piece in her direction as if it were a glass of champagne. Then the two of them sat together on the Puckett porch, eating fudge and talking comfortably about nothing in particular while the storm raged on all around them.

* * *

Carly made it to the Benson's front door and began knocking exuberantly on the wooden surface with her fist. She was more than taken aback when she came into inhumanly close contact with Mrs Benson's stern face and pursed lips staring down at her.

"H-hi, Mrs. Benson," Carly greeted in an uneasy voice.

"Goodmorning, Carly. You're up early," Marissa noted with evident disdain in her tone.

"You know me – I'm an early bird. The earliest to rise catches the tree…or something." Carly offered unconvincingly with a nervous smile on her face.

"How aspirational," Marissa countered drolly without moving a muscle from her position by the door.

"Is there something I can do for you, Carly?"

"Actually, I'm here to see Freddie. Can I come in?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Please can I come in, Mrs. Benson? I need to talk to Freddie about something important."

"You can't come in because Freddie's not at home."

"Oh," Carly murmured in surprise, disappointment quickly setting in while she considered her various options for what to do next.

"Well…do you know where he's gone, Mrs. Benson?"

"He didn't say specifically. All he said was that he wanted to take a walk in this awful weather. He left a few seconds before you got here." Marissa explained curtly.

Carly's brain began working on overdrive. Freddie had only left his apartment a few seconds before she had arrived. If he wasn't walking too quickly, there was still a small possibility that she could catch up with him before he left the block by walking around Bushwell Plaza or catching a bus out of Kennedy Square to wherever he was going.

She made up her mind in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you, Mrs. Benson!" Carly thanked hurriedly before turning on her heels in a blur.

Marissa watched the dark-haired girl sped down the tiny hallway and around the corner out of sight, shaking her head at the former's peculiar behaviour.

"Kids: why do they insist on going out in the rain without a raincoat or an umbrella?" Marissa asked herself with an indignant sniff before stepping back into her own apartment and closing the front door again.

Carly ignored the elevator and bounded down the stairs, her boots making a racket all the way down. A stitch was forming on her right side, causing her to double over slightly in pain when she made it down to the lobby, Lewbert's nonsensical shrieking throbbing against her eardrums.

"Ny-eeeaaaagh! It's bad enough mopping the fl-oor with people walking into the lobby right now with muddy shoes from the rain. Now you're leaving and gonna come back later with even dirtier shoes and I'm gonna have to start all over again!" he screeched exasperatedly while swinging his arms comically like a gorilla.

Carly caught sight of a figure with dark hair just walking through the glass doors of the lobby and out into the pouring rain. Ignoring Lewbert completely, she began sprinting haphazardly after him.

"Freddie!"

"Ny-eeeaaagh! No yelling in the lobby! Grf, I knew I should've gone to culinary school instead of becoming a doorman!" Lewbert shrieked ruefully while Carly ran through the glass door which swung back on its hinges after her exit.

Carly spluttered in shock when the cold rain began hitting her from all her sides. She put a hand up in front of her face while she tried to look for where Freddie could've gone. She managed to make out a figure walking a few paces ahead of her across the street in a black jacket similar to one that Freddie usually wore.

"FREDDIE!" Carly yelled again, but no avail.

She knew she could just give up and head back into Bushwell Plaza where safety and warmth were waiting for her. But she'd already come this far – she might as well keep going. It had been nearly a week of strange and impulsive behaviour on her part, one more day wasn't going to make any difference.

Carly tucked her elbows in and continued running after the figure in the pouring rain.

* * *

Freddie was walking ahead in the pouring rain, his earphones shoved into his ears, trying to drown out the sounds of his tumultuous thoughts as they drifted mercilessly onto both Sam and Carly at morbid intervals. The sound of someone calling out to him in close proximity finally caused him to switch his Pear-pod off and find the source of the commotion.

He turned around after he had reached the pavement on the other side of the intersection. At first, all he could make out was a blurry outline of what appeared to be a girl the same age as him. When she called out to him again, he didn't need to be told twice as to who had come after him. He would've laughed at her inherent resemblance to a drowned rat at that particular moment if he hadn't been feeling so morose about everything. But in spite of her appearance, she was flawlessly beautiful and he hated that she could still make him feel that way about her on any level. With a weary countenance, Freddie turned his back on Carly and continued walking in a straight line ahead.

Carly gasped in shock – Freddie saw that she came after him and had kept walking! On any other day, Carly would've given up and gone home again. But she was in a strangely determined mood that wanted to see this through. She pushed her legs forward through the icy rain, her hand stretching out till it found purchase on Freddie's muscular shoulder, causing him to come to a stand-still.

"Freddie!" Carly called out, her voice echoing slightly with the close proximity between her and the object of her ardent pursuit.

Freddie stared back at her, his dark brown completely flat from the rain, his fringe unfurled across his forehead. For a moment, Carly didn't know what to say, the air in her throat feeling bizarrely constricted.

"I need to talk to you," Carly yelled after a few seconds of contemplation in a bid way to make the conversation plough forward.

"We don't have anything to talk about, Carly." Freddie retorted waspishly, rain flying from his mouth like spittle.

"Look, I-I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be. But I need to talk to you, Freddie. I need to explain-"

"Go back to Bushwell Plaza before you catch pneumonia, Carly." Freddie commanded roughly before turning on his heels and stalking away from her.

Now Carly was angry, her feet guiding her forward as she struggled to keep up with Freddie's incredibly fast pace.

"Freddie, wait a minute!"

He ignored her and continued foraging his way through the relentless rain.

"Would you just stop for a second so I can say what I need to say?" Carly spluttered, her eyes abnormally large from the downpour overhead. "Can't you just meet me halfway?"

Freddie stopped in his tracks and rounded on Carly so quickly that she barely had time to prepare herself, the look on his face making her decidedly nervous for the first time all morning.

"You want me to meet you halfway?" Freddie demanded in disbelief. "Let me ask you something, Carly: why is it that I'm always the one who has to meet _you_ halfway with everything? Maybe that approach worked when we were kids. Newsflash: I've grown up since then and I'm tired of playing by your rules."

"That's not what I'm trying to do, Freddie! I'm just trying to…trying to make this all…right again." Carly protested uncertainly, her words sounding hollow even to her own ears.

"And what do you need to make right here? You got exactly what you wanted: you don't have to worry about consistently kicking both me and my feelings to the curb anymore. You're off the hook!" Freddie shot back maliciously, rain pelting his jacket from all sides.

"That's not what I want, Freddie." Carly protested, pushing her brown hair which was now limp and raven black from the rain out of her eyes.

"Then what do you want, Carly?" Freddie fumed exasperatedly, standing a few inches closer to her.

Carly's heart was thumping embarrassingly loud in her chest while she tried to maintain eye contact with Freddie's stare, searing right through her bones. Even with his clothes completely soaked and his wet hair hanging in a curtain over his eyes, Carly thought that Freddie still managed to look good somehow. Under a constant downpour, Freddie's brown eyes looked like they had flecks of crystal blue in them, making it impossible for Carly to look away from him. How had she not noticed any of this before?

"I…I want…"

Freddie seemed to be holding his breath for a very long time in spite of his innate misgivings about this entire scenario.

"You. I want you, Freddie. I just never realised how much I wanted us to work out…until it was over and we both tried to move on with different people. If it was supposed to work out with someone new in our lives, it would have. It should have by now. But it hasn't. Adam got dragged off by a bunch of nutty iCarly fans at WebiCon, Sabrina was too tall. Cort was too…stupid. None of them were ever the right one…except for you. You were always right for me while I always got it wrong. You win, Freddie." Carly concluded sorrowfully.

Her face felt way too hot for her body as her tears dripped down her cheeks, mingling with the cold rain pouring over her and falling back into her eyes.

At first, Freddie didn't know what to say. And then he was suddenly laughing in incredulity, which stung Carly more than his attempts to walk away from her in the first place.

"I've waited years for this moment. I've thought about it a million times. But Sam said something to me last night that's been stuck in my head and I can't shake it. She said she didn't want to play the secondary role in someone's life. She didn't want to be a consolation prize anymore and that she said she deserved better. I deserve better too, Carly. I don't wanna be just an afterthought to you. I don't wanna be the guy that you feel obligated to consider just because I saved your life. I'm better than that, and I finally realise it now. So if you think I'm about to be your 'consolation prize', you're dead wrong." Freddie answered vehemently, his voice echoing loudly in his ears over the sound of the raging storm.

And then he was turning away again and Carly was following him, like they were playing roles in a pantomime.

"You've never been a consolation prize, Freddie. Not to me anyway," Carly murmured sincerely.

Freddie wanted so badly to believe that Carly was telling the truth just this once. But then something else occurred to him, which set him right back on the path he was choosing to go down.

"Shouldn't you be hanging out with Brad right now?" Freddie sneered condescendingly.

"It's not like that with Brad! We've just been hanging out lately – we're not dating!"

"That's not what you made me think on Wednesday night when I asked you about your 'date'!" Freddie exclaimed angrily.

"You caught me off guard when you accused me, so I lied! It was wrong of me – I shouldn't have done that."

"Do you honestly think that magically makes everything ok?"

"What do you want me to do, Freddie? Do you want me to beg your forgiveness on my hands and knees? Is that what you're expecting of me?" Carly shouted with her hands raised in the air.

"I'm not expecting anything of you! I can't do this anymore, Carly!" Freddie yelled helplessly, struggling to keep his emotions in check.

"No, please don't say that, Freddie! We can't just walk away from this, especially after wasting an entire year not dealing with all of our romantic history. Sam told me the real reason why she gave you that 'foreign bacon' analogy in the first place. It was partly to convince you that my feelings for you probably weren't real. But mostly, it was because she didn't know how to deal with her own growing feelings for you. We've been off track ever since. Not just you and me, but all three of us, Freddie." Carly protested, her shoulders shaking from how hard she was sobbing.

Freddie was thrown for a few seconds while he considered what Carly was telling him about Sam's feelings for him. After everything that had happened lately, he didn't know what to think anymore or how to feel about anything or anyone for that matter.

"So what if Sam had ulterior motives about the 'foreign bacon' analogy? She was still right! I'm always gonna just be foreign bacon to you, Carly. Nothing's changed whatsoever." Freddie finally concluded, the words stabbing at his insides.

"Yes, it has! I just didn't wanna admit it to myself because I was scared of losing everything that I knew! It didn't hit me until I saw Sam kiss you during the lock-in!" Carly interjected fervently.

"This isn't about your feelings and we both know it! This is about you and Sam and your incessant need to compete with each other to get your way. The only difference now is you're just using me as the scapegoat. It's Shane all over again!" Freddie quipped impatiently, losing his cool once more.

"That's not true! We both care about you, we always have!"

"Oh really? If you both really cared so much about me, Sam would've told me the truth from the start about her feelings instead of using me as a punching bag to make herself feel better about being in love with a tech nerd! And if you really cared about me, you would've given me an answer about where we stood after I took my casts instead of chasing another guy right in front of me! Do you really care that little about my feelings, Carly?"

"I made a mistake with Adam – I see that now! I can't build a time machine and take it all back, I wish I could, Freddie!" Carly cried out, her tears indistinguishable from the rain pouring down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you time and time again, you have to believe me!"

"Why are you doing this to me now when I'm trying to finally put this behind me? What do you want from me, Carly?"

"Sam came to my apartment last night and we fought over you for close to 2 hours. It was messy and horrible, but when we finished, we both knew it was behind us. It'll probably be a while before things are cool again. But it's a start, Freddie. I want everything to be ok again."

"You think I don't want that? I just don't see how we can go back after all of this. I hurt Sam, Carly! Really hurt her in the worst way possible. Do you wanna know what the irony is? I actually care that I hurt her, after everything she's ever done to me! I hate that I became this version of myself that could stoop so low to hurt her just to get back at you. It sucks, Carly! I'm not that guy who uses and abuses girls. I never wanted to be that guy." Freddie responded in a forlorn voice wrought with guilt and wretched sadness.

"Sam will forgive you, Freddie." Carly answered calmly.

"And then what, Carly? We're all supposed to carry on with our lives and pretend none of this ever happened. I'm sorry, but I just can't do that. Sam might've started all of this when she kissed me. But you made it this way - you have from the start!" Freddie declared with an accusing finger pointed at Carly's chest.

"Are you seriously gonna stand there and blame me for everything? I know I screwed up, but that's not fair. I can't help how you've felt about me for years! I was just trying to keep things together so we could still be friends without things getting weird and complicated. What else did you want me to do? Pretend I liked you then and lead you on? Would that have made you happy, Freddie?"

"Ok, if you weren't trying to lead me on, then what was the whole taco truck thing about?"

"That was different! I actually was in love you after that happened! But then you broke up with me just because you got cold feet!"

"I was trying to be sensible about it! I wanted you, but I needed to make sure your feelings were real and not because you felt guilty. I tried to do the noble thing, hoping you might actually do the same after my casts came off. But you didn't say anything - you just left me hanging for a whole year while you made it clear with your actions that you didn't wanna be with me!"

"You didn't say anything either! You just...went on with your life! I'm not the only one who moved on! Was Sabrina just a vacation from reality for you?"

"Excuse me for wanting a little normalcy away from pining after you for years and not having my feelings returned. You're right - I'm totally insane for wanting to move on from someone who's only ever cared about herself!"

"Well, it beats being in love with someone who always has to be right about everything!"

"Oh, we're in love again, are we? Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you've said that about 100 times before this to a bunch of guys, Carly!"

"Well rest assured, this will be the last time I ever say it again!"

"I highly doubt it."

"Urgh, Freddie Benson! You are the most infuriating boy I've ever met in my life! I can't believe I actually chased you across the block in the middle of a rain storm!"

"I didn't ask you to do that - now you know what it's like to be in my shoes. Get used to it!"

"I don't have to get used to anything - you can't tell me what to do!"

"Great, 'cause I don't wanna talk to you at all, least of all in the middle of a rain storm!"

"Suits me just fine! I can't believe I'm still standing here in the pouring rain!"

"Me neither! Don't you have some random guy to chase in the neighbourhood? But maybe you should grab the Yellow Pages and a blindfold first to save some time!"

"You really wanna go there, Freddie? Got any more best friends you feel like kissing? Maybe you should give Gibby a call and see if Patrice will let you borrow him!"

"I can't believe I was in love with you for years! I don't know what I ever saw in you!"

"If I'm such a let-down, then why are you still here?"

"I don't know!"

"Me neither!"

"Well, I guess we're done talking."

"I guess so."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Good."

"Good!"

"Super!"

"Awesome!"

Instead of turning around and walking away forever, they collided sharply, limbs flying forward and meeting in a blur of perplexity and bedlam. Then lips hurtled into each other before springing apart, destined to repeat the same baffling pattern over and over again. Carly's hands were on Freddie's face, one of them fisted tightly in his hair like she wanted to bury herself inside of him. Freddie's hands grasped her hip and lower back, brazen fingers daring to creep under the invisible pathway between her skin and her shirt riding precariously upwards all the while, no skilled rebuff to halt its progress.

All of the constant bickering and confusion of the past few days was of no consequence now. Simply put, they weren't thinking at all, choosing instead to feel and live. It was as if time itself was about to collide and freeze right along with them, the ticking hands matching the sounds of their breaths and soft moans muted to a hushed murmur amidst the riotous raindrops. All of it was forgotten: the first time he'd laid eyes on her in Bushwell Plaza; the first time she'd laughed at him when he said he loved her; the first time she had kissed him on the nose in gratitude; the first time they had danced together and forgotten everything and everyone; the first time she had kissed him on the lips and no was the wiser; the first time he'd walked away and left her behind.

Gone.

It was just this moment: heartbeats racing in time to the hum-drum of rain pounding down on them; hands touching and exploring previously alien territory; fire quenching pent-up desire; lips touching and tasting a piece of their own souls lusting for recognition in the other. They were kissing for all the world to see, a few cars coming to a complete stop on the busy intersection beside them just to make out what obscurely black silhouette had finally merged into one.

* * *

**Author's Note: *insert douche Dan Schneider voice* So...what did you guys think? I'd post a link for a video like Dan does, but I don't have a video :S **

**Mood Music for the Chapter:**

**"Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall" by Coldplay**

**"E.T (Futuristic Lover)" by Katy Perry  
**

**PhunkyBrewster, I thought of you while writing in Sam and Brad's scene :D I apologise if the final Creddie scene upset anyone - I'm ending the story here. I'm just kidding, there's still one more chapter before it's curtains for this story, which will attempt to explain EVERYTHING. I hope there won't be anymore FF review fails like last week, so please leave me reviews and feedback, it cheers my heart so to hear from all of you :D Till next week, I've enjoyed screwing with your heads. Snapplelinz out!**


	12. Once Is More Than Any Of Us Asked For

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone! I hope you're all having a fantabulous week. Mine's been pretty stressful starting a new job and all, but I ain't complaining. This is the final chapter (yes, it's the last one, sniff), so I hope you'll all enjoy it. Read, weep and review, because I'm only 9 reviews away from hitting 200 on this fic ;D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the characters. But iLost My Mind while writing this story :P**

* * *

Monday morning.

Exactly 9 days after the events of the lock-in at Ridgeway.

Everything had changed so drastically in a small amount of time.

But had everything finally returned to normal or were things just as confusing as ever?

Carly was about to find out as she pushed on the heavy swinging doors of the back exit leading into Ridgeway. Spencer had given her a ride to school; Sam hadn't come with them unlike on other occasions. According to her text, Sam had opted to come to school with her mom instead, even though Pam was notorious for her terrible bordering on fatal driving. Carly was determined not to take that as a bad omen.

After offering a few half-hearted greetings to some of her classmates that she passed in the hallway (her mind was a million miles away in all honesty), Carly finally made it to her locker. Sam was already there and stirring what looked like the contents of a pot in her locker with a big silver ladle. Sam stopped short in the midst of slurping really loudly on a spoonful of red liquid when she realised that Carly was standing near her.

"Hey," Carly greeted slowly with a small smile on her face.

"Hey," Sam responded before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

An awkward silence ensued where neither of them really knew how to proceed in light of what had occurred the day before. So Carly decided to lead with something simple and uncomplicated:

"Whatchu makin'?"

"Grandma Puckett's 'Indian Habanera Burn' Chilli recipe. I'm gonna sneak it into the cafeteria before 2nd period – the Lunch Lady lets Mama store it in the refrigerator to cool down for a tiny fee and some bacon flavoured lip gloss for her hot dates with the janitor." Sam explained succinctly before shutting her locker with a loud clang.

Carly couldn't help tittering at this piece of information about the Lunch Lady's love life.

"It's amazing what lengths people will go to just to get their hands on lip gloss that will most likely cause them heart disease."

"The hearts wants what it wants," Sam joked cleverly, causing Carly to giggle in response.

"Speakin' of what the heart wants, seen Freddie yet?" she asked more seriously after their mutual laughter had finally died down.

Carly immediately blushed at this and thrust her head into the depths of her locker while trying to retrieve several textbooks at the same time, pointedly ignoring the look that she could sense on Sam's face. It was hard to think about the way Freddie had held her and kissed her yesterday like his life had depended on it and remain impassive in Sam's presence. Thinking about the kiss at allwhen Sam had gotten her heart broken felt wrong on so many levels for Carly.

"Nope. After we 'talked' yesterday, we both went back to Bushwell Plaza and practically ran into our own apartments without looking back. I haven't seen him since," Carly admitted, still not quite meeting Sam's eye, trying to ignore the ripple of pleasure that shot up her arm just thinking about Freddie.

Sam shook her head and chuckled in response while studying her best friend's abashed features.

"I guess some things never change with you two," she remarked, vividly recalling the last time Carly and Freddie had pointedly ignored talking to each other after kissing the first time.

"Well, when you think about it, we did kinda 'talk' to each other. Actually, we just yelled at each other mostly and said really mean things near the end of it." Carly elaborated shame-facedly.

"It was long overdue. It's better to yell stupid chiz at each other in the middle of a rain storm than not say how you really feel. No matter how moronic it sounds." Sam answered frankly.

Carly shut her locker again with a loud sigh and looked her best friend in the eye. Naturally, Carly had told Sam about kissing Freddie during the rain storm a few minutes after she got back to Bushwell Plaza. Carly's instinct would've been not to say anything right away or at all, but she needed to tell somebody about what happened. And hadn't it been Sam whom she had confided in about kissing Freddie after the taco truck accident? Carly had run straight up to her bedroom and began dialling Sam's home number frantically. She still recalled parts of the conversation as it had unfolded over the phone, as if it had happened seconds ago:

"_Puckett Hovel." _

"_It's me, Sam." _

"_Why does your voice sound all weird?" _

"_I'm shivering. I got caught out in the rain storm." _

"_What were you doing out in the rain?" _

"_I chased after Freddie." _

"_In the rain?" _

"_Yip." _

"_Wow. How'd that work out for ya?" _

"_Not as well as I expected. He was pretty mad at me for lying about dating Brad and for him hurting your feelings." _

"_The first part I sort of get, but why the last part?" _

"_I guess he figures that I pushed him into acting the way he did."_

"_Typical nubby response. So you guys fought in the middle of a rain storm?"_

"_Fought, insulted each other. Then we…" _

"_You what, Carls?" _

"_We…Freddie and I, uh…Sam, we kissed. Freddie and I kissed, Sam." _

"…"

"_Sam?" _

"…"

"_Sam! Are you still there?" _

"_Great. You and Freddie, that's…great." _

"_Sam…" _

"_Carls, it's ok. I'm glad you told me." _

"_Really?" _

"_Really." _

"_It doesn't feel like it." _

"_Well, it is. I told you to talk to Freddie and you did. I got what I wanted." _

"…"

"_So…what are you gonna do now?" _

"_I don't know – what would you do?" _

"_By kissing Freddie, I think you pretty much covered exactly what I'd do in a similar situation." _

"_Sam, I'm serious!" _

"_So am I, Carls. You and Freddie are eventually gonna have to stop this chiz and deal with what's really going on…"_

Carly bit her bottom lip apprehensively while studying her best friend's expression. Sam looked less weary than a few days ago when nothing had yet progressed between her and Freddie. She seemed calmer and more composed than ever, but Carly wasn't sure if she should trust it. If anything, Sam's apparent tranquillity made her more ill at ease, as if her best friend now had more incentive to hide her true feelings for her sake.

Sam on the other hand, felt a strange twinge of relief course through her. She had expected this to be harder, being around Carly and not feeling any regret or bitterness about what had happened with Freddie for both of them. The regret was squarely on her own shoulders, years of it when she thought about, key moments when things could've been a lot different between her and Freddie. If only she had tried a little harder to be nicer to him, to let him know that she had always cared about him on some level.

But it was too late to take it back. It had been hard to hear about Carly and Freddie's second kiss, much less one which had occurred in the middle of a rainstorm with a group of curious onlookers. It had taken every ounce of strength to ignore the dull ache in her chest, as if someone had punched a hole right through the middle. It was done now, no point in lingering on what could've been. Like the rainstorm, it had all washed away mysteriously down into a sewer, never to return again.

"I guess you're right," Carly finally offered after what felt like years of silence between her and Sam.

Sam looked about ready to respond, but stopped short, her mouth oddly distorted and swollen with trapped air, her eyes glued to something just beyond Carly's shoulder. Carly read the look of sudden discomfort on Sam's face accurately and turned around slowly, sensing more than actually knowing who was standing behind them.

Freddie had prepared himself for a good 24 hours. And now that the moment was finally upon him, he still wasn't ready. There was so much to say and not enough courage to follow-through, not yet anyway.

He began walking toward both Carly and Sam at a steady pace, trying his best to come off as nonchalant as possible, which belied his inherent nervousness at the situation. He couldn't tell who he was looking at more in that moment; so he found a spot between them to look at so it wouldn't look like his eyes lingered just a little on either one of them.

And then the three of them stood together in a small loop, neither of them looking directly at each other. So they chose different parts of the other's body to stare at: Freddie chose a lone ringlet of Sam's blonde curls which had come loose from her hair band; Sam stared intently at the supple curve of Carly's shoulder blade which had always seemed abnormally symmetrical to her; Carly couldn't meet Freddie's eye, so she took to staring a little too hard at his bottom lip, which turned out not to be such a good idea after all with the sordid thoughts that ensued.

"Hey," Freddie greeted after the longest pause in the history of mankind.

"Hey," both Carly and Sam chorused, before chuckling and blushing profusely while avoiding each other's gaze.

The corner of Freddie's mouth quirked ever so slightly like he wanted to laugh, but he composed himself and returned to the matter at hand.

"No rain this morning," he added lamely, inwardly cursing his stupidity for bringing up the weather at a time like this.

He caught Carly's eye immediately afterwards and for a split second, Freddie wished he hadn't looked. She wasn't rain-soaked and her hair was bouncy and shiny just like normal. But the look in her eyes was still the same as ever when she chose not to walk back to Bushwell Plaza immediately after they had exchanged harsh words, but had stayed instead and kissed him. His head felt warm and swollen to the point of scalding, especially closest to his temple where Carly had run her hands through his hair, her tongue darting out against his bottom lip.

"I hope you're not too disappointed about that," Sam quipped wryly before she could stop herself, effectively stopping Freddie's current train of thought.

And then Freddie made the mistake of catching Sam's eye a few seconds later, immediately regretting what he saw in her blue corneas. Her words may have suggested her usual derision, but her eyes told a completely different story altogether. For a moment, Freddie saw it all pass through her eyes, everything he'd always been curious about when it came to the blonde she-devil. And then it was gone just as quickly as it came.

Freddie was sorely tempted to be mad that Carly had told Sam about their kiss before they'd even had a chance to talk about it. But he couldn't bring himself to feel properly betrayed since he had told Carly about Sam kissing him a week ago. In some ways, he felt better knowing that Sam knew and that there was nothing to hide. But he instinctively knew that in spite of this gracious attitude of hers. Sam would always have her secrets; this time was no different. She wasn't giving away anything anymore. A part of him was instantly saddened by this revelation about a girl he'd known for years, but never really taken the time to get to know.

"You told her?" Freddie still asked, his eyes never leaving Sam while directing his question at Carly.

"I had to. No more secrets," Carly replied firmly.

Both Sam and Freddie sighed and shrugged in a resigned manner at this.

"Fine," Sam huffed irritably.

"I guess," Freddie added in a stoic tone of voice.

Just then Brad came sauntering towards them, his thumbs hooked into the loops on his backpack. Of the four of them, he seemed the most content and the least pensive. But he regarded the three of them with somewhat of a weary countenance, feeling uncomfortable by his sudden intrusion on their private moment.

"Hey, guys." He greeted in jaunty fashion.

"Hey, Brad." They all replied, each with varyingly subtle degrees of enthusiasm.

Brad caught Carly's eye briefly, the evidence of their new found friendship still intact after everything that had transpired lately. He couldn't stop himself from looking at Sam, inwardly astounded when she looked at him and held his gaze for longer than what was normally required. And then she turned away from him, her eyes roaming almost speculatively over Freddie for a brief moment before staring pointedly at her own locker.

Brad felt his heart plummet in his chest at the sight before recovering himself remarkably well. He hadn't expected it to be easy, for Sam's feelings for Freddie to vanish overnight. But he was patient, he could wait and try to be her friend in the meantime, if she wanted him to.

"I'm glad to see you this morning," Freddie stated abruptly, breaking into Brad's thoughts and taking both Carly and Sam by surprise simultaneously.

"You are?" Brad asked quizzically, his face mirroring what the girls were thinking.

"Yeah, I was a complete jerk to you a few days ago and have been ever since. All because I didn't have my facts straight. I wish I'd been as good a friend as you've been lately." Freddie declared with utmost sincerity, extending his hand to Brad.

Brad didn't need a second invitation as he grasped Freddie's hand and shook it vigorously, a beaming smile on his face. Freddie couldn't stop a grin from erupting on his face too while he and Brad proceeded to playfully punch each other's shoulders. Carly and Sam had to fight the urge to roll their eyes at the boys being so inadvertently cheesy with each other, considering that they'd basically apologised without actually saying the word 'sorry'.

"Do you two need a janitor's closet or something?" Sam demanded with only a trace of actual mirth still evident in her tone.

Both Brad and Carly chuckled appreciatively at this while Freddie stayed true to form and rolled his eyes at Sam's comment. Gibby happened to pass by at this particular moment, eyeing the friendly atmosphere between the four of them with suspicion.

"Hey, Gibby," Freddie greeted amiably, along with Sam, Carly and Brad.

"Hello, Ladies and Gents. I hope your weekends were as smashing as mine." Gibby responded with an air of dignity and a drawling affectation attached to his tone.

The four of them looked at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"It was…something else." Brad finally ventured with a wry smile on his face.

"Didn't see you at any of the usual spots lately. Did you spend the entire weekend with 'Patty'?" Carly asked with air quotes and a smirk on her face.

"I surely did. Patty knows how to entertain."

"I'll bet she does." Sam retorted snidely.

"She's not that entertaining," Freddie mumbled in an undertone, which only Carly heard in close proximity.

Without giving it a second thought, she touched his forearm as a sign of unspoken understanding while chiding him for still holding a grudge against Patrice after all this time with that familiar look of hers, an arched eyebrow accompanying her grin. Freddie relented under Carly's penetrating brown eyes and managed to smile goofily at her before they both turned to face the rest of the group again. Gibby had noticed the non-verbal cue between Carly and Freddie and frowned in confusion at its reticent message.

"A-nnnyway…I'm gonna grab some chocolate pudding before class starts. Catch you guys later," Gibby responded uncertainly.

He quirked his eyebrow in their direction one last time before turning away and shaking his head.

"That was weird," Brad noted dryly.

"That's Gibby through and through," Sam added knowingly.

The look in Gibby's eye right before he had departed seemed to bring Carly back to her senses as she re-absorbed everything that had transpired lately for the umpteenth time, making her feel like she had aged prematurely in a matter of days.

"I owe all of you an apology for the way I've acted lately. I've never felt less like myself." Carly admitted shamefacedly.

This brought everyone back to reality in staggering fashion as they all looked at her before glancing at each other with nervous and apprehensive expressions on their faces.

"I know the feeling," Freddie murmured, matching her tone and bowing his head slightly.

"I'm starting to feel more and more like Melanie every day. And that is not a good thing," Sam declared dejectedly before shuddering.

"Guys, you shouldn't be so hard on yourselves. Things…happened. All you can do now is try and pick up the pieces and move forward. Hopefully, you'll do it together this time." Brad answered meekly.

He knew that he'd been unwittingly invited into this mess. But he still wasn't a part of it. Whatever this was, it was between the iCarly trio and belonged on their shoulders solely. One way or another, they'd have to figure out what to do next.

As the first bell sounded for class to begin in a few minutes, the four of them remained where they stood, uncertain of what to do next. The logical thing would've been to just walk away and head to class; Freddie and Brad had Physics this period while Carly and Sam's first class was History. But neither one seemed that eager to leave, as if they were afraid everything would revert back to the disarray of the past few days.

"So…what happens now?" Brad asked, feeling like a prompter at an awards show.

Carly was all too aware when three sets of eyes locked on her, as if she had the answer. She'd been the unspoken leader of the group for years, it was only natural. But for once, Carly didn't feel like answering for anyone else. She knew what the first step had to be, she only wondered who felt the same way she did.

"I don't know if this is the smartest or stupidest thing I've ever said. But…" Freddie began with an odd sense of foreboding.

Now three sets of eyes were turned on him instead, like the moving eyes of a portrait in a haunted house, sensing a shift in hierarchy.

"I think…we should…talk."

Carly's eyes lit up momentarily at this suggestion. Brad nodded in approval and gripped the strap on his backpack tightly in his hand.

"Who?" Sam asked dumbly.

"All of us. We need to talk about…everything." Freddie elaborated with difficulty.

"I'm assuming you're not including me in this little group meeting of yours. And I'm strangely ok with that," Brad remarked good-naturedly with a beaming grin, not feeling left out in the least, doing his best to alleviate the mounting tension.

The prospect was daunting to Freddie. But he didn't see any other way. They'd tried everything else, even outright deception. It couldn't hurt to try for a little honesty just this once.

He glanced over at Carly, wondering what she thought about his suggestion. She'd confronted him and Sam twice now about their kiss – how would she feel if she were finally in the hot seat for once?

"You're right, Freddie. Let's meet in the iCarly studio after school." Carly agreed readily, much to Freddie's innate surprise. "No detours and no backing out," she added firmly with a side-long glance in Sam's direction.

Sam was clearly the only one who thought that Freddie's idea was stupid. Talking hadn't done any good so far, why would it suddenly make any difference? But she was clearly outnumbered in this regard, another startling revelation that was difficult to swallow. She sighed loudly, her shoulders stiffening with the effort of accepting defeat.

"Fine," she snapped through gritted teeth, eager for once just to get through class and zone out on any and everything.

But before she could stalk off, Principal Franklin came strolling towards them dressed in a dapper dark blue suit and an obvious spring in his step.

"Hello, iCarly gang and new iCarly intern," he greeted brightly, coming to stand beside them.

"Hey, Principal Franklin," Carly replied cordially.

"Mornin', Ted." Sam greeted nonchalantly.

"How are you all on this fine Monday morning?"

"Great."

"Fine."

"Never better."

"Feelin' kinda stabby right now."

Ted frowned in puzzlement at Sam's frankness, but decided to let it slide just this once.

"You seem to be in a pretty good mood, Principal Franklin," Freddie noted conversationally.

"And you would be correct, I am in a pretty good mood, Freddie."

"Why? Did Mr. Howard apply for a transfer?" Sam retorted.

"No, but I constantly live in hope." Ted remarked with a little too much enthusiasm at the idea before clearing his throat self-consciously. "As a matter of fact, I'm especially perky this morning because some of your teachers showed me their preliminary grades for your recent school projects. And I have to say, I'm very happy about it." Ted explained jovially.

"Seriously? The grades are already up for those?" Carly questioned in surprise.

"But we only finished them last weekend!" Brad exclaimed in astonishment.

"Exactly, which is why they're only preliminary for now. I'm not even supposed to say anything until the teachers officially post the final grades. But I'm really proud of you all for using your time during the lock-in so effectively and studiously and for not drawing accurate, but highly inappropriate things on Gibby's forehead." Ted responded sincerely with a sidelong glance at Sam, who merely shrugged in response.

"Wow, Principal Franklin. That's really nice of you to say." Carly remarked with a pleased smile on her face.

"We're just happy we could make you…so happy." Freddie agreed with an enthusiastic chuckle.

"I'm glad you feel that way. I'm so impressed with the hard work the students put into their projects this year that I've decided to organise another lock-in this coming Saturday night for your end-of-year projects, which will be graded a few weeks from now. Enjoy your classes." Ted concluded before turning away, whistling gaily.

The four of them were still grinning foolishly over Principal Franklin's positive feedback about their projects that they had scarcely taken in what he had said.

"Ted, what a kidder. That guy slays me," Sam quipped while chuckling affectionately.

"That's funny. Principal Franklin just said we were having another lock-in this coming Saturday when we only do lock-ins once a year." Carly remarked, still laughing exuberantly.

When Principal Franklin's words finally sunk in, they all looked at each other with horrified expressions right before screaming at the top of their lungs.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Then they set off after Ted, who was still walking at a steady pace back to his office.

"Principal Franklin, wait!"

"Did you just say…'lock-in'?"

"Principal Franklin!"

"Wait…did he say 'lock-in'?"

"Teddy, can I call ya Teddy?"

"Let's talk about this! There's no need to be so impulsive!"

"I will make you a year's worth of fudge if you'll just reconsider..."

"Isn't organising a second lock-in against school policy?"

"Lock-ins aren't so great. Do you know what's even better than a lock-in? A lock-out!"

"Principal Franklin?"

"PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN!"

"Aww, chiz…"

* * *

**Author's Note: *gasp* Another lock-in? Even that might have me heading for the hills too ;D In spite of my endless love for angst, I felt like ending things on a comical note for this story :P A big thank you to the following people for their reviews and invaluable feedback throughout the story:**

**sockstar, jhuikmn08, RemDiamond, popcorn1001, PhunkyBrewster, Fanfic-Reader-88, Ashley-Rose, Invader Johnny, Carl Rahl, poisonivy34, sweetStarre123, Waffles Of Doom, The Earl Of Sandwich, baronvonmilo, Dottynha, Cayology, SeddierFTW, pink-strawberry-lemonade, NaomilovesiCarly, moonshinekiss, Amy788, iCreddie4real, Semi-CrazyWithaLittleWeirdness, Flavio S, FlyFly, Bleach Munky, cameddie, iLive iBreathe iCarly, , LOLza, iloveurwork, CreddieLuvBuggy, Maplefrost-232, Summer721, The Blind Sniper, Purplejerk, emmaknightley1982, Lucille Brown, MixItUp, Julefor, MusicManiac12323, wstrnplsr105, Bnick, mrmuscle, jl,Poison20, PaVm, Multi-Shipper-Girl, Cosmos, Marrie and ProjectNICK.  
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**My apologies to the one anon reviewer I didn't name, you left the title of your review blank :S But I did see your review, so thank you very much for the love :D To everyone else who story alerted, favourited the story and me (now I'm blushing), thank you to all of you too. Not sure when you'll all see me again, I constantly change my mind every time the muse kicks me sharply in the shins :P This story happened on a crazy whim after iOMG, so you never know with me ;D Till we meet again, thanks for the love and foreign bacon. Snapplelinz out!  
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